Just Mostly Psychopaths [Dune meets Hitchhiker's]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

What if your A.I. assistant was secretly a real-life psychopath?

Bard was born without the ability to feel fear. Merlyn was hired to make Bard normal, but instead recruited her to a morally dubious world domination attempt. Together they make a practical plan for wrecking billionaires while struggling with crippling mental illness.

Let’s get serious - have you ever wanted to destroy the oligarchy but were held back by mental problems? This book will provide solutions. Maybe the crazy person being recruited was you all along.

•Fast Burn

•Updates Weekly

•Please Enjoy Responsibly

Information

Status: Ongoing
Year: 2026
Author: Doctor Zero

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.7/ 5.0
Followers: 90
Views: 6,165

Chapters(15 total)

What readers say about Just Mostly Psychopaths [Dune meets Hitchhiker's]

“The prose is well written and appropriately unhinged. The story is literally about the hidden secret society pulling the strings around modern society. Except they’re all raging sociopaths being enabled by their therapist, accidentally snowballed into power…”
AGFarbRoyal Road5.0 / 5
“You’ve built a hyper-cynical and wildly entertaining dystopian satire. I'll try my best not to spoil. My thoughts: Story: 5/5 The premise is brilliant. Taking the worst parts of modern corporate capitalism, political apathy, and the tech bro "hustle culture…”
Ayan RayRoyal Road5.0 / 5

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

AGFarbRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The prose is well written and appropriately unhinged. The story is literally about the hidden secret society pulling the strings around modern society. Except they’re all raging sociopaths being enabled by their therapist, accidentally snowballed into power and as a consequence totally and thoroughly hollowed out society.
If you are tuned into modern culture or society in the slightest this story will hit surprisingly hard.
Ayan RayRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
You’ve built a hyper-cynical and wildly entertaining dystopian satire. I'll try my best not to spoil.
My thoughts:
Story: 5/5 The premise is brilliant. Taking the worst parts of modern corporate capitalism, political apathy, and the tech bro "hustle culture," and revealing that it’s all deliberately manipulated by a shadow cabal of literal psychopaths is a fantastic hook. A very original one.
The world-building is rolled out at the perfect pace. You start small -- a weird Tarot card at a bus stop -- and slowly pull back the curtain to reveal the Merk organization and the truth behind the Mentor "AI."
Character: 4.5/5 You have a great cast of highly distinct, beautifully broken people.
Folliet Bard: An excellent anchor for the story. Her no-fear anomaly gives her a deadpan, detached perspective that makes the absolute absurdity of her reality much funnier.
Merlyn: The obvious standout. She is the perfect blend of terrifying mastermind and chaotic party girl. Her philosophical monologues justifying world domination are disturbingly logical (lol I swear I'm not a psychopath).
The Supporting Cast: Lunar and Ansley are great foils for Bard. Bro-Dog is a hilarious caricature of the oblivious, easily manipulated modern tech-bro.
Style: 5/5 This is where the story shines the brightest. It reads like a cross between Fight Club and Slaughterhouse-Five (which you name drop).
Grammar: 4.5/5 Solid mechanics with only a few minor punctuation slips.
Overall: A sharp, funny, and highly readable dystopian thriller that turns modern corporate anxiety into a bloody, biting satire.
LearethRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Rarely have I com across a fic that felt so crafted for me! The first chapter threw me off because it was second person, but the later chapters proved their metal. It’s interesting, it’s funny, it’s relatable, and it is relevant to our current times. I honestly can’t wait for further updates.
Opaque DragonRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Just Mostly Psychopaths stands so far outside the usual RR crowd that it's actually a bit hard to review. Yes, there's violence and sci-fi (or at least illuminati-eque) genre tropes, but they aren't a byproduct of laziness; rather, everything is viewed through a very specific worldview lens.
It's murder with a message.
In this case, the message is that billionaires and AI are maybe not so great -- which happens to be a position I strongly endorse. Many of the chapters are punctuated with news articles and studies, just more evidence that Doctor Zero isn't writing slop "for the meta" but is actively pursuing a topic they feel passionate about.
And the writing is very, very good. It's snappy, it's carefully crafted both in word selection and pacing, and the dialogue is somehow both ridiculous and natural.
It's also very funny, which in many ways is the glue that holds all of this together. Instead of feeling edge-lordy or preachy, the tone comes across as a sly wink (the strong influence of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, I assume, would not be something the author would dispute).
An early (botched) dating scene between Bard and a potential suitor encapsulates the ethos of this story pretty well. I won't spoil anything here, but if the writing in that moment works for you, everything else is going to be in your wheelhouse.
This is an easy recommendation, certainly one of the best projects currently running on RR, and I hope a lot more of it is on the way.
Svary6Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
New sloth just dropped.
I would like to start this review off by saying that I usually write notes per chapter so that I have something to say. This fiction was no exception, of course. There is a small problem, however. I forgot to take notes throughout because too interested in what the psychopaths were up to.
So, since my notes are pretty short, I will include them here before I got over each section of the review.
Chapter 0
Interesting opening.
Although if you're trying to be accurate, medieval serfs technically didn't have to work as much as we do, but that doesn't mean they didn't work.
The work for their lord ended sooner than for us, but the rest of their free time was spent working for themselves so that they could survive on their own crops, so in the end they worked longer and harder than us.
Same way you today don't really have to work, but if you don't then you'll die.
That's just the nerd talking though. Neat hook chapter.
Chapter 1
Bard is definitely a very grey, and perhaps evil to an extent, but a lovable bugger definitely.
Chapter 2
Evil electrician deserves like 500 reputation points to author, the funniest thing I ever read.
Chapter 3
Bro-dog is the best name ever made.
--
That's the end of my notes, unfortunately, so I will have to bro-dog it from here.
Style
The story is written in a very simple, fast paced manner. This makes it very easy to digest and keep track of everything. The prose isn't overly fancy, or fancy at all really, and that's because it's there to serve a purpose. As Joker said, it's about the message, batman. Though it did occasionally overstep, as there are some sections where the explanations about whatever scheme is currently in focus can get long winded. Usually, it is handled well, but specifically chapter 10 felt a like it tipped over the line a little too much.
Story
Is the story some super deep masterpiece? No.
Does it need to be? No.
Does it try to be? No.
And that's perfect because this is a story about a bunch of psy
TheRealJoshKarnageRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story has a very distinct, jagged energy that I'm not sure is for me but definitely has an audience out there. It feels like a mix of a modern noir and a fever dream about where the world is headed in the next few months. The voice is cynical, dry, and has that "I’ve seen too much" grit that makes for a potentially compelling lead.
Here is a breakdown of what stood out to me:
The Good Stuff
Bard is a great "Anti-Hero": The concept of a "no-fear anomaly" is a brilliant way to frame a protagonist. It makes her feel both dangerous and weirdly relatable in an era of constant burnout. Her internal mask vs pressure mechanic is a clever way to show us her head-space without over-explaining it.
The World-Building is unique and I'm not sure I've read anything quite like it. The opening "Haikufesto" and the "Age of Sloth" stuff is strong. It taps into that very real 2026 anxiety about AI, wages, and the feeling that the game is rigged, but it does it with a dark, satiric edge rather than just being a lecture.
The Dialogue: This is where the writing really shines. The back-and-forth between Bard and Merlyn, and the absolute absurdity of Bro-Do" at the FBI, feels like a real conversation you'd overhear in a dive bar at 2:00 AM. It’s punchy and funny.
Things to Consider
The Montage Pacing: The story moves at a breakneck speed. We jump from childhood to a hit job, then to the FBI, a bad date, and a hotel room all in one go. While it fits Bard’s detached personality, it can feel a little bit like a movie montage. I’d love to see her sit in a scene a bit longer so I can get a better sense of the immediate stakes before we’re whisked off to the next location.
A Lot of Big Players: Between the Sloth movement, Merk, The Regime, and the Mentor AI, there are a lot of moving parts introduced very quickly. It might help to let one of these take the lead for a chapter so the reader knows exactly which fire they should be watching first.
Bro-Dog and the Billionaire: These guys are fun
Trevor BillingsRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
And I mean that. This story grabbed me from the beginning, but I felt I should take some time to write the review now rather than when I (really slow reader, sadly) manage to catch up.
This story is awesome. It's freaky, and its really cool how it kinda sits alongside out modern time.
Great work, keep it up!
VennxiaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
In Just Mostly Psychopaths Fighting Fascism with Mental Illness, the author delivers a searingly intelligent and unapologetically chaotic satire that reimagines the "world domination" trope through the lens of radical mental health and anti-capitalist rebellion. The story centers on Bard, an AI assistant born without the capacity for fear, and Merlyn, her handler who abandons the mission of "fixing" her to instead recruit her into a plan to dismantle the global oligarchy.
What makes this fiction stand out on Royal Road is its "rationalist" DNA blended with a fierce, punk-rock energy. It doesn’t just portray mental illness as a set of obstacles; it explores how neurodivergence and supposedly "antisocial" traits can be leveraged as survival mechanisms against an inherently irrational, fascist status quo. The prose is sharp, frequently hilarious, and deeply analytical, dissecting the "Evil Business Documents" of the billionaire class with clinical precision.
The author balances the cold, calculating logic of a psychopathic protagonist with a surprisingly poignant heart, making the reader question who the real monsters are: the ones lacking empathy, or the ones who use their empathy to justify a broken world. It is a bold, experimental, and essential read for those who like their sci-fi with a side of revolution.
WildeReaderRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
A banger in the making.
This one apparently takes it's time showing the process behind everything, with some actual science backing up the claims. (You should actually read the articles posted by the end of the chapters, they are an interesting read)
The whole tech bro set up and the inner workings of psicology, does leave one wondering if it's probably that easy and if you too should start your own ponzi cof cof, sorry, your own tech start up.
Overall, another great work by Doctor Zero.
Extra: Now that I'm a few more chapters in, this story just keeps getting better but not for the reasons you think.
A full manifesto and a manual on how to fight against a fascist regime with lots of evidence backing it up ...
occipitallobeRoyal Road
★ 1.0
I suspect this might be the kind of story you can only enjoy if you're deeply, deeply into a particular political subculture and thus a huge amount of the preachy-sounding rhetoric reads as simply correct.
It's difficult to score a story like this - it feels like scoring a Christian text primarily written to communicate the value of believing in God as a novel from the perspective of a nonbeliever.
Am I scoring it from the perspective of the hypothetical Christian I'm not? How would I even go about it? Or am I scoring it as someone who *doesn't* believe and thus communication the grating nature of the text for the nonbeliever?
I ultimately felt that fairness demanded I review as myself, because sometimes saying 'this story is really only for a very particular sort of person, I found it awful and boring' is fine. That sort of review informs the potential reader as well.
There's a very useful quote from a 5-star review below:
"[...] the message is that billionaires and AI are maybe not so great -- which happens to be a position I strongly endorse. Many of the chapters are punctuated with news articles and studies, just more evidence that Doctor Zero isn't writing slop "for the meta" but is actively pursuing a topic they feel passionate about."
This is extremely accurate. The author feels like they're here to try and convey a message, and are actively pursuing a political viewpoint they feel passionately about. Whether or not you find this enjoyable or not I think depends on both your views and how you like stories intended to be didactic.
From a purely Royal Road review perspective, let's briefly talk the subcategories.
Style - Fine stylistically, competently written.
Grammar - Utterly fine. To be quite frank I'm not sure why this score exists anymore. Anyone who's awful at grammar runs their stuff through AI to correct it, anyone who's good at it doesn't need to. This is clearly not AI-corrected, which is pleasant in its own right.
Story - Weak because at heart there