Ivory Chronicles

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2024

Author

JustiNepomuceno

• Prelude
  Jul 27, 2024

Reviews

Community Reviews(5)

• Aleth08Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Story:
  Let's start with the story. It's actually pretty good, especially the conclusion to the inciting incident, it drew me in. The major positive I would say was how the author slowly explored the plot and background with the characters, instead of dumping info in the first or second chapter. Have seen that happen a lot, so know that it's a very common problem.
  Still, there are some minor problems here and there. For one, the motivation behind mc's actions feels lacking. He doesn't have enough stake in the conflict to warrant his presence in life and death battles, especially when his family too could be implicated because of his actions. Also, the introduction to the powers was a bit abrupt with no foreshadows or hints, and the immediate acceptance of it all on mc's part also felt off.
  Style:
  I don't usually read first person, so I might not be the best judge for perspective, but I would say it was good enough. The descriptive writing was good too, especially in the first chapter. There were a few common problems I noticed still. Tense consistency was a problem in most chapters, it's not something major, however, and should be fixed with a quick proof read. Another issue was of filtering. Many narrations that mc did, it was filtered through him. Here's the thing, we already know its his perspective, so its better to show the action rather than say that he saw it or heard it, etc.
  One other minor suggestion I would like to give is that if you finally pick the past tense to be your main, try to go for 'ed' sentences, instead of 'ing'.
  Grammar:
  I didn't notice any game breaking grammar issue, but there were some here and there that popped out. First off, the punctuations. It wasn't hard to notice the author kinda struggled with commas. There were some errors with sentence structures too, but most of it should get better as the author gains more experience.
  Character:
  Characters are the part of the story who need time to develop, for me at least. So, because it's sti
• InyssaRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  There aren't many stories in this site that focus on rebellion as its main theme, especially one so focused to the inequality of the world they've written and the struggles to make it better through action. It's an exciting premise, which helps the start a lot in my opinion.
  There are some grammar and tense issues at the beginning of the story, but I expect to have to delete this in the future, since they're all easily-fixed mistakes, and the author seems aware of them. They don't distract from the story too badly, in any case.
  As for the prose and narration, they really flow during the combat and action scenes, which I'd say are the author's bread and butter. For the rest of the story, the narration works well in the background, mostly functioning to direct the characters.
  Like I said before, the story works pretty well so far, with the worldbuilding making me wonder exactly what this version of an 'island' looks like and what are the powers at play. It makes me root for the revolution, that's for sure.
  As for the characters, they're colorful and active, which is what I like in a main cast, even if we don't know too much about them so far. I think the story would benefit from a few more interactions between the characters early on. The MC is somewhat passive at the beginning, but that slowly begins to change as the story goes on.
  Overall, while I'd say this story would benefit from a beta reader and a pass through Grammarly, the concept, characters and action scenes carry it pretty well, and I can see it getting better and better as time goes on.
• SaiphRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Review Swap
  This is an exceptionally well-plotted story. There are things that happen in the early chapters that don't always make complete sense but they are explained later (well, most of them. Some things are obviously part of a bigger plan for more books). The pacing is fast, possibly a little too fast but this could be personal preference. Despite the fast pacing there are the occasional slow character moments, which are very pleasant, I just wish there were more of them. The cast is big and obviously well-developed behind the scenes, however it feels like we only ever really get glimpses of them. In some cases this makes sense, however I do feel like more time spent on slice of life character moments would add more impact to some of the later events. There's a good array of fleshed out characters here but we need more time to get to know them.
  I did not expect this story to go the way it did and it really is an example of some good story-telling. I think it would make a great TV show, partly because the prose and grammar are the weakest links. There are some tense changes, slight pov jumping even though we are in first person pov, and occasionally weirdly worded sentences. There are also places where the flow feels like it could be a little smoother. It's still perfectly readable and understandable and it also gets better in later chapters. Either there were less errors later on or I just didn't notice them because by that time the story was hitting a much stronger stride. If you're happy with the prose in the first few chapters then you should definitely keep on reading because the story is solid. Act 3 was probably my favorite act. It's also nice to see a story that feels properly rounded out without feeling the need to bend over backwards to tie everything up. We're left with some questions and the promise of a sequel while still getting plenty of answers and closure.
  Story
  Excellent. Well-crafted. Good twists and subtle foreshadowing. The plot is this stor
• Eli'sPencilRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  The first arc of this story surprised me. I didn’t expect such a deep story with so much effort put into it. Even though I don’t like AI art, the author puts pictures of the cast and other important things at the beginning and ending of every chapter so if you have trouble visualizing things, you have those.
  Story: Very well written. I don’t like going too in-depth when it comes to the story in reviews but to put it simply it’s a story about revolution, which is a pretty relevant theme for my personal life and many others so it hits hard.
  Grammar: There’s nothing to complain about. It’s pretty much perfect other than the few punctuation errors but they don’t subtract from the story.
  Style: The writing style is standard but in a good way. It’s something you’d see in a published novel, outside of the punctuation mistakes. I also particularly enjoy how the characters speak Spanish sometimes, saying one or two words or certain phrases. Since this story takes place in Latin America (I believe) the Spanish just adds to the identity of this novel’s world.
  Characters: Yeah, this is where this story shines the most. The author loves their characters, you can tell. There’s so much effort put into each and every one of them. I just love character driven stories and can really appreciate when author’s put in the extra work.
  If we’ll written characters and relationships, along with compelling stories about revolution are your thing, then this story is for you! Check it out.
• GeorgeDBeardRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Story is a young adult, coming of age story about a group of teenagers. These teenagers, who all have special powers, have organized themselves into a resistance group to oppose a rich foreign power's attempt to dominate their beautiful Vanity Island home.
  The narrative style is first person. The writing is pretty good. The sentences flow well together. Character speech is well differentiated and dialogue is pretty sharp and even funny at points. Descriptions of places and people is strong and I think definitely improved with the character images. That made it a lot easier for me to visualize the different people. The only thing I would say is that I wish the author would let the character speech stand on its on a bit more. The phrase a character chooses is usually enough to tell me how they are feeling, and I felt a bit babied at times having it spelled out every time. Grammar is on-point.
  The characters are well-thought out. They are all properly individualized. All of them do fall into your classic archetypes (shy but good-hearted and brave; scheming genius with questionable motives; high-minded but emotional and impulsive hero, etc...) but as I read on, the author did a good job in giving them unique twists and traits. The biggest thing for me was that I struggled to sympathize with the main character. I realise this is setup for character growth, but the MC just seems helpless and I am frustrated at and for the MC as he tries to navigate the internal politics of a pretty fragmented group of people with super powers. There are also a lot of characters and names. Some of which seem pretty unimportant (like previous revolutionary leaders). It might be worth only revealing them later, because it's a bit hard for the poor reader to keep everybody's name straight.
  The story is slow-burn. It's a pretty classic setup, bunch of idealistic kids (with superpowers) taking on the "evil" government to protect nature. But the author does a pretty good job of making it very co