Description

In the not-so-far future a groundbreaking new game heralds change to the world, and everyone who lives in it - for those who play, and even those who do not.Driven by greed, passion, and depression, three individuals set out to explore this new world... and end up changing things forever.Immersion Book 1: Paradigm Shift

Community Reviews(3)

VolosRoyal Road

★★★★ 4.0

[As of Chapter 7]
If you are a fan of the LitRPG, then this has the beginnings of a solid work. The opening chapter hits you with an info dump, but the narrative quickly picks up. There are early signs that the MC may be traveling down an extreme OP path, which I find worth noting, but I am ambivalent as to whether or not that's a positive. Overall I find it worth following, and I'm not actually a fan of LitRPG's.
The grammar is easily within the top 5% of the site. I only found a few instances where I thought comma use came into question or the wording was awkward. The style is indicative of the genre, and if you like LitRPG's, then you should like the style here.
I've yet to find myself captivated by the story or characters, but that could simply be an artifact of how early we are in the story. On a similar token, nothing stands out as a unique and interesting element, but a pleasing background was crafted.
The writing is solid enough that I am willing to cross genre preferences and hope for a beautiful story to unfold.

lordteddersRoyal Road

★★★★ 4.0

The good: The language is direct and easy to read. Tyr starts advancing right away and quickly gets right into the action. I like the character development that in Chapter 7 where we start to learn a bit more about the characters.
Could use some work: The first chapter. Does not hook me. The main issue here is the data dump - show me don't tell me. The entire chapter one is TLDR. We don't even learn about Tyr until Chapter 2. This is also a problem with your blurb. We get an explanation of the game but Tyr isn't even mentioned.

corgi in tightsRoyal Road

★★★★ 3.5

Please note that this review is just my opinion on the current events, I cannot say if this will be valid later.
3.5 stars is a pretty harsh rating but please do not be discouraged, with some practice 4 should be easy.
Starting off with a pretty average start, I personally am not a big fan of the way the spirit is structured, the 'japanease' spirit probably developed during the golden era or earlier and has observed over millions for centuries of time and a personality could be radically different. Try to flush out a bit of personality next time maybe but overall good descriptions and sentence structure.
To be honest there is no edge or grip, there are attempts of it but nothing that really wants you to know what happens next, slight improvement between chapter 1 & 3 but try working on that a bit.
The main character seems to lack some backbone and not sure if that is on purpose for future character development.
-1 star for style, -0.5 for lack of grip
+1 star for potential, +1 star for grammar, +1 star for idea, +0.5 for sentence structure.
Try working a bit more on the above points, it has a good basic foundation so I hope it goes well.
Once the book hits a decent amount of chapters I'll properly analyze every chapter, for now just a basic review.
I expect good things, continue the master work my young apprentice.

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Chapters(30 total)

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Community Reviews(3)