I Think I Got Stuck In My Favourite RPG :TFALM

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

After another night of drunken partying by himself, Dale wakes up to find that he is his character Azurith from an old MMO RPG he was playing the other night. Trapped in a magical world where elves, dwarfs and demons exist, he decides to play along and start a guild. Accompanied by a band of beautiful ladies, the self pro-claimed Booty-demon azurith will vanquish evil monsters, rebuild cities from scratch and make his guild or as he calls it, his "harem" famous across the world, but first, he will have to deal with all the stereotypes that came with becoming a demon.

Writeathon challenge:"

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2021
Author: Runeificent Writings

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.4/ 5.0
Followers: 86
Views: 9,683

Chapters(21 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

NoissarRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
The Author has taken steps with a rewrite as previously suggested(below). Only minor things stuck out in the first chapter this time around; a rare missing plural, punctuation, or word. The sentence structure has come leaps and bounds, showing remarkable improvement and dedication! Basically every issue I notice is perfectly inline with the common things English only writers would have happen.
The best thing is that the MC no long feels like a mega victim from the start.
I may have put my scores a bit high, but dedication and effort deserve praise. I hope the people who will love this story find their way to it.
Outdated
I could not connect with the story, Even with the Chapters being affixed with an edit label ...they felt disconnect/rough... The prologue just drained me. If you give this a try and read this first maybe skip it and give the first three Chapters a Run for their money. Then maybe five the Prologue a try.
I just felt it was drowned in a depressing/pathtic overtone; it really drove an 'everything is awful' in me. There was an implied premiss that all the people featured in the Pro would 'stop existing' and I do not know if they were just given too much on the details side or if it was the unnatural way the sentences came together...
I actually liked how caring and authentic everyone but the MC were. The MC felt kind of natural when His roomate was being decribed and in their shared interactions.
As I write this and reflect; The killer for me has to be the MC's nature/behaviour; The was no reason for me to be sympathtic to their plight. The appear jadded and invoke an 'It is everyone else's fault' vibe. That I whole hearted disagree with.
I am going to try the first three or so again cause I just skimmed a bit, but If I do not update ...I have said it all already.
I could not make it through the 1st actual chapter before giving the story a veto.
Paragraphs flip from 2st to 3rd person from one sentence to the next. The author appears to have decent skil