Hunting for jade beauties~ A trash novel

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Long Dong is a young cultivator whom everyone underestimates! "That boy has no power!" his seniors say. Little do they know that his resolution will not break so easily!

"I"ll show you all, and build a harem of jade beauties!" exclaimed the young man, pointing his fist at the moon.

"Misha, calm down, do you want to fail another year?"

"I don't care, as long as I have this demonic power!" Long Dong whips out a pack of over-the-counter codeine, leaving his friend in shock and awe.

And thus a cultivation journey of eastern European delinquent begins!

Wrtten forFast Food Frontpage Competition, this novel is trash and don't take it as anything else.trigger warnings: all

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2021
Author: Sake Vision

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.8/ 5.0
Followers: 41
Views: 46,574

Chapters(25 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

BullerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Ever had a craving for trash tables yet didn't want to go into a story with actual plot around it? Look no further than this piece of trash! It has a broken MC, a broken system, and what seems to a broken plot as well! The perfect mix of trash and even more trash! What else could a trash reader be looking for?
also the name... heh. I have a good sense of humour.
5/5
GGOAPRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Every time i read this i laugh a lot like i am still confused If he has powers but it os so funny like this is the average xianxia protagonist in a modern world and It is so funny like the aligment explains the protagonist and seriously i really wanna know If magic is real is this series.
HereBeTreasureRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Long Dong the cultivator tries to fight his highschool bullies and gets beaten so badly he receives a concussion.
Of course, another way of thinking about it is "long-term spiritual damage sustained to my meridians by precise hits of that arrogant young master earlier today."
Trust me, this story is really funny
MK bk-201Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This is the modest deranged, stupid and funny Xianxia i ever read and probably will read, the story about a young man who wishes to defy the heavens and ascend past them throught a higher realm of cultivation, when in reality he is just retarded and its way too high.
Raven_AelwoodRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
HJB is only of those novels you could quite easily find amusing yet underneath all that unhinged humour is a broken boy in a broken society. LD is a boy with an unexpectedly intriguing mind to behold. Funny, chaotic, surprisingly loyal? Yes, but also quite pitiful.
The work's prose is quite light-hearted and fits perfectly with the atmosphere the author was heading for. Grammar is near-perfect, with the devil being in the details. Despite hyper-focusing on the MC, the characters all feel vaguely distinct and realistic with individuals such as Grimes, Maria and Sadie being quite memorable. The world-building is subtly intense with the author fully fleshing out the MC's little corner of the world. As for the MC himself, while it is hard to relate with his experiences, thank goodness, I do feel a sense of deep camaraderie and pity for him. If he were a real person we might probably make good friends.
All in all, while it might not be the most amazing novel I have read in a while this trash novel is still one of the most memorable masterpieces to behold on RR.
metatr0nRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Masterpiece. I feel humbled to have read it. Now I'm empty inside, knowing that nothing will beat this masterwork. Those that think to immerse themselves in this vibrant and fantastic world, be warned, you might quit RR and never comeback after getting blinded by the glory that is this book.
The Cabbage PreacherRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Now, I'm a Western fantasy fellow. Never in my life have I read any other works of Xianxia, I'm just not really into the genre. I do not have any authority to speak about Xianxia, or any works of Eastern fantasy.
Anyways, this is the best work of Xianxia, nay, the best work of fantasy, and humanity has peaked. All of human history, everything in the universe, it has come to this. We cannot produce anything better, Long Dong shall forever stand as an obelisk that no other character can top.
WaurpelRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I can't quite explain what I just read, but I can say it's insane in the best of ways.
It's a fantastical delusion. It's completely un-hinged in its content, but somehow grounded in its context...
I can't put it any other way.
It's midway between Dark comedy and straight up Tragedy. A perfect Satire and it does exactly what it heads out to do.
See you Long Dong...
Enjoy that Bonobo bone.
WeavervaleRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This is pure comedic genius, a combination of tropes in such a way as to make them all add up to something even better. Plus the setting is just so completed 180 off anything I've ever seen. A cultivator? in a LitRPG? in Eastern Europe? Trying to find a harem? okay..... if that tickles your fancy then heck yes, read it.
TaviRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
It is also very funny. Normally I'd rate it lower but however reluctantly I have to admit it is doing its job of amusing me. Every time I start to think I have the story pegged it throws in something new and entirely idiotic to catch its readers off guard. Bravo author nimi, well played.