Heaven is Hell

It's not all halos and harps.

Most people end up where they deserve - through the Pearly Gates, twelve blocks past the Golden Square, skirt the mansion district - here we go - Final Reward Court.

Not bad, a bungalow on the circle - oh. You have roommates. A hairy sports nut in Angels shorty-shorts, and a persnickety spinster that loves soap opera.

What is there to do? Not a lot; you won't grow old, and you won't get sick. That's about it, for the rank and file.

No Starbucks? No Italian restaurants? Nope. Those are for those that were ... better than you.

Maybe if you had paid as much attention to commandments five and seven, as you did following the 49ers, it might have gone better.

Eternity? Like this?

A lowlife gnome and an ACE Elf-whore have a way out! There's still hope for you.

Follow an ordinary woman who has lived a lustful and lazy life, as she navigates the trickier side of the Ever-after.