Gladiatrix System

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Battle Fiestas are created to bring entertainment to the new cyber mystic community, together with the development of the supersoldiers known as "Gladiators" and their system administrators that are called "Kaisers". The Gladiator/Gladiatrix System provides a way to control the supersoldiers' unlimited potential on the battlefield.

Elzane is just an introverted teenager who only has one dream: to participate in Battle Fiestas as a Kaiser. But before he can do that, he has two problems: first, he does not have a Gladiator partner; and second, he is forced to marry Raynevere, a popular girl and the heir of a multi-million-dollar company. With his whole life planned ahead of him, he is ready to give up on his dream.

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2023
Author: ArchlordZero

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.0/ 5.0
Followers: 31
Views: 63,216

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

A Very Dead LibrarianRoyal Road
★★ 1.5
Frankly, i knew something was wrong by chapter 2 but i stand by my code of reading at least 20 chapters before making a review.
Everything feels just a little off, you'd think that wouldn't mean much but they keep piling on and on. The forced events, the stiff dialogue, lots of telling than showing, i think most of the dialogue is written in the authors first language then google-translated into english.
“Mister Elzane, are you sad? What’s with that troubled look on your face?” Raynevere asked in a sobbing tone.
“Get lost then. Can’t you see we’re about to go on a date?” Raynevere said fiercely.
She *said* this, she *said* that. these are verbatim what is in the novel and they make everything feel less real.
It's always telling and never showing, and when it *is* showing it feels incredibly forced.
Why did the MC have to get married? Because plot happens! that's why! The character bonds feel incredibly fake, there's no volume or depth, they are what they say they are and that's that.
I can't properly describe the feeling, it's like i'm in this world that's slowly starting to feel less and less real... That a tree i lean on is going to fall over in a mess of tarp and mesh frame, the people i'm talking to fall apart like the pieces of a mannequin, it's incredibly jarring and horrifying if i'm honest.
I'd recommend getting an editor or a co-writer? maybe go back to the drawing board and rewrite the whole thing, i don't expect anything from you, you're an author and I, a simple reader.