Eye for Command

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]

CJ went to sleep in his own bed, and woke up on a world at the precipice of war. With no clue where he is, or why, he finds himself the focus of a world-shaping prophecy and a fair amount of danger. Except underneath all the swords, magic, and war tactics, it might all work like a strategy RPG. CJ knows strategy.

Now he has to figure out the mechanics of a whole new world in time to have a fighting chance. What is a Soulflame? or a Bond? Is he actually there to save the world, or should he really be looking for the first ticket home? All he knows for sure is that he has one advantage, and it has to make up for a laundry list of disadvantages.

While LitRPG elements will be light at first, they will increase as the story goes.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: merdle

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.4/ 5.0
Followers: 40
Views: 17,491

Chapters(36 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(2)

kintaro21Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Overall this is a lovely start based on what I have read so far. I feel very much in the same situation as our protagonist CJ. We've been dropped in an interesting nightmarish world where I have many questions and few answers, though I suspect that will change as I continue to read.
The overall style and descriptive elements are superb. Merdle does an excellent job of weaving imagery into his work. It easy to imagine the monolithic church that CJ starts in and the darkness he wades through in an attempt to orient himself. The ashwalkers are sufficiently frightening and dangerous enough that even a knight with a flaming sword (the bald head has me thinking 40k) is in peril when dealing with them.
I've never been a fan of stories which drop a normal person in a fantastical world, but this is well written enough that I am curious as to where this is going and who CJ really is. It has elements of both fantasy and science fiction, and I can see it going either direction as the world is continued to be built.
My only real complaint is dialogue related. CJ in particular has some responses that seem strange given the situation he is in. He has a very casual tone given that his life is at risk and he is completely lost on where he actually is. Additionally, the supporting cast comes off as very abrasive, though that I suspect will change as we learn more about our protagonist.
realnotperfectOfficialRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I'm thankful I got to read this.
[Like I say all the time, I am not Queen of LitRPG Online, nor am I King of Publishing Universe, nor am I Master of Five Thousand Editing Degrees. These are all my humble opinions.]
1) I loved the use of bold fonts and format changes.
These were usually used when the author was presenting actual pieces of text seen by the main character, and these were usually things like objectives, updates, lists, or other information. This really worked for me, and this really helped me to be more immersed in the story and feel more connected to how the story was progressing and where it was going.
2) Without spoiling much: random little parts of the book were funny and I loved that.
3) The author did an amazing job of making this very easy to read.
One example of this was dialogue choice. It was easy to follow, none of it was very flashy (perhaps this was intentional or purposefully not what the author was going for) and even though a lot of things weren't described very colorfully, it kept me more focused on the character and paying more attention to what the response (if any) was going to be.
4) I think there were a few instances where punctuation marks needed to be inside the quotation marks, but they weren't.
Some commas were missing. (I myself make this very same mistake.)
5) I think there were a few instances where the needed punctuation mark was either absent, or an incorrect one was in its place. There were a few verb tense errors, e.g., "falling" versus "fallen." There were also a few instances of incorrect verb form usage (singular versus plural), e.g. "was" versus "were."
So far, my personal favorite chapter is Chapter Five.
Without spoiling much, so far, this was my favorite line from the book:
"You would think the media creating a hundred and one zombie movies and shows would prepare you for seeing the undead running at you, but they still crawled through his mind when he let it wander too far."
In conclusion:
I personally find it ha