Echoes of the Mirror

Information

Status

Hiatus

Author

Virgo_Silver

Reviews

Community Reviews(2)

• God_is_GoodRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  The best part of this story is the characters.  Haku himself is very gruff, and sort of mean, with a wild temper.  But the first person perspective really allows us to explore his feelings, his motivations, which gives him a lot of depth.  As we see him interacting with the other characters, there's a lot of strength in the way that he talks and acts.
  The style was very brisk and fast paced, with a lot of dialogue and minimal description.  I think the story itself could use a lot more detail on the setting and the emotions that Haku is feeling, but maybe that's just me.
  The grammar is probably a little above average, and it's not bad compared to a lot of what I've seen on here.  But it still needs a lot of work.  There were several mistakes that really distracted me.  Grammar doesn't really affect my opinion of the story, much, though, so I try not to pay much attention to it.
  The story is facinating, and it's a really creative idea.  It's not very different from a lot of what I've seen on this sight, but none the less, you handle it in an extraordinary way.
  If you're doubtful about giving this a try, then I would say, definitely try it.  It might be for you, it might not, but it's definitely worth reading.
• acederequizaRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  The review is a little overdue since I had a bunch to complete first. I had reach until Chapter 5 of your story. I wanted to help you since I could see lots of your emotions invested in creating this story and I wanted you to actually grow this story and finish it.
  Style: 3.5/5
  I had read that you wanted to do is a LN style and whatsmore being influenced by the Japanese culture (I assumed that is so since you had been using lots of Japanese name; Hira/Kira/Hamari etc.).
  However, to most readers, your style reads like an Eddic poem which actually did not help you much. In LN (using Nohingo), paragraphing is not an issue since that's how their language is written. But once you do it in English, it had become somewhat messy to read. It was more poem-like rather than story-like. Most of your paragraphs (99.5%) are just, well 1 sentences long.
  My suggestion is to varied it out for the readers sake. Just a little here and there would do us justice. I used to write my story like yours but after a few readers told me about their problems in reading my story, I changed a little.
  If you ever had the chance to read a movie/drama scripts, your style just reminded me of them. Just dialogs and dialogs line and minimal of other things. But a movie/drama scripts would be acted upon. A story meanwhile would play in the theater of our mind. We would need to imagine what you are writing, instead of seeing actors playing that role.
  You said somewher than if your story was an anime, this was how you wanted it to pan. And therein lies the problems. You rely too much on how we would potray your style inside our mind rather than you showing how it was acted upon, on your story.
  Story: 3.5/5
  Fact-paced yeah but don't mistake fast-pace for messy pace. When you do that battle scene in Chapter 2, I was hoping for more oompphhh. As in to say I could cheer for one of them. Though I might not know who the fighters was, I would usually cheer for the one I think had the most 'guile' for me. And of