Dungeon of Apples? (Completed)

Information

Status

Completed

Year

2016

Author

Katsune

• Chapter 8.5. During the 7 year skip.
  May 7, 2016
• Chapter 8. Mayu and Death? Nope.
  May 6, 2016
• Chapter 7. Outside world. An S-class ruins it all.
  May 6, 2016
• Chapter 6. Second Floor. A rank Fail.
  May 5, 2016
• Chapter 5. New Apples.
  May 4, 2016
• Chapter 4. Mayu and the dungeon.
  May 3, 2016
• Chapter 3. Adventurers meet the boss mob.
  May 2, 2016
• Chapter 2. Dungeon Creation
  May 1, 2016
• Reincarnation. I messed up again...
  Apr 30, 2016

Reviews

Community Reviews(9)

• KowtangRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Apple that eat adventurer? That worst than some mimic!
• DorSephritRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I'm giving this 5 stars because I have laughed at this so much!! It's so bad, it's great! The grammar is awful, the characters don't feel like real people. They feel like dolls in the playhouse of the authors mind and everything is just conveniently there for them. But, it's funny. I'll give it that. I'm not trying to be mean, I genuinely appreciate that this story exists and I hope the author keeps writing. Their amazing imagination is a place I would be happy to escape to any time.
• SobekRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  Interesting concept. But the execution of that concept isn't that good. I mean I'm not gonna give this story too much hate because Iv'e seen stories with shittons of plotholes that have the shittiest writing imaginable. Yet still have 5 stars.
• KholdanRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  Funny dungeon story and with few spelling mistakes. Deffinately worth a read
• SinikalRoyal Road

  ★★★ 2.5

  Spoiler alerts.
  The concept is fun and I like that the author gave the dungeon mobility early into the story. But, there are problems.
  Dialogue is lunky. This is not a matter of grammar (which is quite good by RRl standards). The way people talk is unrealistic and their is no sort of emotional inflection to their statements. I'm picturing mannequins walking around and mimicking humanity. It is like the gods of this world are running an open beta. This is one example, "Heretic! We don't like heretics! Heretics are the worst! They like dungeon so much they give the dungeons their mana and help it grow even more dangerous to human life!."
  As I stated, there is no emotion in the characters. Or at least no non-guided emotions. A woman is told that her best friend has died and calmly asks why, then doesn't react in any way when the person bluntly says she was a heretic and leaves. The SS class comes to study the dungeon and instantly decides to destroy it when he hears it is interesting. The dungeon is declared highly dangerous because the non-mobile apples can eat anything.
  The characters do things for no apparent reason, and some of the things they do are clearly just adapted from popular stories (the dungeon saving a girl from being raped, the dungeon taking in people and turning them into monsters, the dungeon being able to summon and control multiple boss monsters, the help function only being able to access information when it is needed and not before).
  The dungeon starts to do things and then alters his plans, or they just accelerate with no lead-in. He says he needs a lot of mana to move his body, then it only takes him one A rank to do it. He says he has no idea how to change a human into a dryad, then says he is really close to succeeding.
  There are no descriptions of the people or the geography. We know Quinn is 2M tall and has green hair. Akuna has orange hair. and Mayu is tall with a flat chest. But that is all we know about them.
• Riki RakunRoyal Road

  ★★ 2.0

  Comedy apple but terrible passing and transitions
  The story is simple to follow (in a good way) without plot holes(as far as I can tell)
• admiraRoyal Road

  ★★ 2.0

  I read 6 chapters and skimmed a few more before giving up.
  The story concept--a dungeon with all-devouring apples--seems intriguing at first, but the execution needs way too much work for it to even be considered the same story by the time it's fixed up.
  Ellipses (...) are not an acceptable transition between thoughts, nor will they ever be in a narrative format. It's one think to occasionally have them for impact or use them in dialogue, but it's painful as a reader.
  As always, I hate the [Name: Dialogue] format of dialogue. It's unfortunate how many fics on this site use it, this one included.
  Plot pacing: Way too fast. I couldn't follow the logic jumps at all. This is a vital part of writing; your job as the author is to make sure that readers can follow the story you are trying to communicate to them.
  Characters: Shallow is the only word I can use to describe them. They don't even have enough individuality for more than that. Like someone else mentioned, the emotions are extremely forced and the dialogue sounds like a really, really bad soap opera (even by soap opera standards).
• meerschaumRoyal Road

  ★★ 1.5

  I wanted to enjoy this, but I didn't continue past chapter 4. It's probably fun for a pre-teen sharing a quick funny story with their friends, but the story logic doesn't hold together and the author's English usage needed work when they wrote this (not exceptionally poor by RR standards, but still ...). I've seen worse on RR.
• SaphyronRoyal Road

  ★ 0.5

  The concept is nice, but the execution is horrible.
  In addition, you have a problem differentiating between "what" and "that". No clue why.