Desvalian Nights

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Jack Bertrand is as his namesake, one of the pitiable jack of all trades.

Having come off a string of bad luck for his last two cases as a private investigator the parents of a missing girl have come to him as a last chance to find out just what has happened to their daughter.

Join Jack in exploring the hidden histories of the city Desval as he tries to bring hope and answers to a grieving family in this story of magic and mystery.

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Chapters currently will be released Wednesday and Saturday.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: Farlmot

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.5/ 5.0
Followers: 82
Views: 34,614

Chapters(63 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(3)

KinAkira1996Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Desvalian Nights follows Jack a private investigator looking into the disappearance of Dilacy Fawler after her parents ask for Jack's help. Jack suffers from a condition that is described as being a "jack of all trades", but in reality he is put through excruciating pain whenever he tries to use magic, deeming him a cripple in the modern society.
Style (5/5): The prose is written succinctly and manages to inject a lot of personality and detail into the story while maintaining a consistent pace that helps accentuate the air of mystery and intrigue that permeates throughout each chapter.
Story (5/5): So far, the story has managed to keep me invested despite its reluctance to divulge many secrets. As it should be expected from a mystery novel, I've been thoroughly titillated. Each chapter leaves me asking more questions and I'm eager to dive into the next.
Grammar (4.5/5): There are a few grammatical errors, but far and few, and they do not distract me from the story.
Character (5/5): This is where I think it might get a little subjective. The story introduces a colorful cast of supporting characters that have a unique charm to them. The use of the fantasy setting adds a layer of depth to their personalities and how their race (Beastkin, Aegir, etc.) and affiliations can affect their interactions with others. However, the main focus is on Jack, how he interacts with the world, and his thoughts on certain issues and how he deals with them. There's also the question of his backstory, where certain details are left ambiguous to leave the reader wondering.
Overall, I think this is a fantastic myster/fantasy novel that has been lovingly crafted by the author. I'm very excited to see where this story goes and where Jack will end up at the conclusion of this story.
M.G DriverRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I love the intricate details in the book. The world feels breathable in, in the sesne that I can truly believe that humans can live it in. Most fictions have the issue of not being able to remove disbelief, but this novel solves it in a jiffy.
However, there might be a bit too much exposition. Some of the fun in the story should be hidden away as a backstory. I understand it's the authors first book, and I myself fall into the same trap as well.
Style:
The sentences flow pretty well, smooth reading all throughout. action sequences are clear (save for the alleyway magic circuit body in ice scene, that was a bit off) and dialogue is always apparent as to who is talking. I never lost track of which character was saying what.
One small thing to note is that some of the paragraphs are pretty hard to read on mobile. The formatting seems to be fine, but the paragraphs really feel like walls of text on mobile only. On the desktop its fine.
Story:
So far it's been an intricate investigative process, really clean and thorough. I love the mystery so far, but as mentioned above the novel sometimes fall into the trap of overexplaining certain aspects of the world, an issue I myself face when writing my first novel.
In some cases, it's better for the reader to 'guess' the insituition's purpose or the rules of the world. Sure, they'll get it wrong (half of them will) but its part of the fun. I think if the small snippets of info were stripped out you have a brilliant masterpiece here. Polish the hook in the first three chapters and then trickle in the worldbuilding later.
Grammar:
5/5 i'm not native.
Character:
Okay, best part of a novel - an MC that actually suffers repercussions for what he done? Super brilliant. Some might feel that wow the MC is dumb, but this isn't a self-insert novel after all. I love the character flaws in the MC, it's great so far.
Each character looks lively, even the side characters. I like how each character can believable stand up for themselves (the m
Second LawRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Desvalian Nights is the story of Jack Bertrand, a small time Private Investigator who people go to if they can't afford the traditional agencies or as a desperate last hope. The latter was the case for the Fawner couple as they approach Jack about the disappearance of their daughter Dilacy Fawler. This story follows Jack investigation of that disappearance, and all that he uncovers.
Style : The author has a knack for writing the detective/thriller genre, and does a great job building suspense and keeping the reader hooked. Every chapter brings with it a few answers and many more questions, and I could not stop reading. The writing style also lends itself to very natural visualization of the scenes in which the story takes place, making for a very visual reading experience.
Story : The author has done a great job with worldbuilding, and in the first few chapters, introduces us to the fact that various species live in this world, magic and portals exist, and how diplomacy works. With the premise setup, we get into the actual merits of the case, and over the process of investigation, get into various interactions that further show the dynamics and politics of this world and in particular those surrounding the expedition the missing girl was involved in. As I already mentioned, each chapter unfurled the mystery with some questions, but occluded it further with more questions, making for very engrossing storytelling.
Grammar : I did not notice any grammar issues.
Character : The character of the MC is incredibly well done, and that combined with the fact that we experience the story through his lens has made me extremely invested in him and his case. In particular, there have been some teases about his past that I'm very excited to find out more about, as well as about his family name. I would also like for him to find a way to overcome his condition where he experiences pain while using magic. Beyond my investment in the MC, there are also many other characters introduc