Dark One — The Rewrite [Progression Fantasy]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Dark One is set in the kingdom of Vorthe, a land that has earned its peace and stability as a result of the efforts and sacrifices of past heroes. But alas, calamity draws near! Abeingof unearthly hunger for chaos and destruction, which leaves ghost cities in its wake — a creation ofthe Cataclysmfrom eons past will soon be awakened.

The Royal family goes to great lengths to cover this up as the utmost of secrets. However, our protagonist, Jerome, was reborn in Vorthe to inherit thisAncient Dark Power.Jerome will embark on a journey to rescue his friends and family who will be displaced all around the kingdom of Vorthe, all while escaping condemnation brought down upon him by the will of powers he should never have raised his hand in resistance against. All these he does while keeping theBeastinside him at bay. But it bides its time, waiting...

for a moment of weakness.

Schedule: Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday.

~~~

Dark One is a Progression Fantasy Web novel. It’s set in a world where humans can obtain supernatural powers and grow in these powers to become stronger depending on their aptitude, and their fortunate encounters along their journey as sacred artists.

A sacred artist’s advancement is quantified through a system called Realms — like stages of growth. The dream of every sacred artist is immortality — if they don’t lose their motivation along the way.

Longevity is not uncommon, but immortality is a thing of legend!

~~~

Important Notice: With the current path the story is taking, it will slowly become harem themed. But the plot would remain the overall focus.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: fantasyretreat

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.2/ 5.0
Followers: 92
Views: 132,318

Reviews

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Community Reviews(9)

RiversideRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
A balanced Iseki-progression novel which reads more like a traditionally published book than your typical Prog-Fan literature.
Style: The writing style is a good balance between dialogue, narration, and description. Some chapters, which are clear info-dumps, do present an issue, but the pace otherwise returns to the balanced form soon after. Information is straightforward and presented, usually, without pretension.
Grammar: I saw no huge issues with Grammar. I also do not care about grammar in the slightest, however. As long as the grammar is fine, it is fine in my book. A cut above average.
Story: the story is slow to get going. Although the protag is from another world and had another life, he finds himself incapable of doing much in his reborn body, a street urchin in a dark fantasy world. His (Jerome's) distinguishing mark / power hasn't yet been introduced, nor has his quest to save his friends. I think the story presentation could use some work insofar as pushing the big events forward. I want to hear about the anti-hero growing stronger and saving the day, not slum life. That being said, it is a Prog-Fan, so of course there is a lot of buildup.
Character: Although I had an idea of all of the characters, few really stood out to me. Jerome acts too headstrong, which can come off as foolish, but he is also a character of limited means. We see only a bit of the kindly old man who the children attempt to ambush, whereas their primary caretaker, though represented well overall, doesn't have many moments where she truly comes into her own. I think one thing is missing from each character. If more dynamisms to the plot was added, these characters could be taken up a notch. This is not to say the characters are boring, just that the story limits them early on.
In Sum: a good fiction. Some missteps, but what project doesn't have missteps? For people more invested in the genre content of this work than I, I think "Dark One" will scratch any itch.
(Review Swap)
Silverstorm4444Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story is a rewrite, and you can definitely tell, it just has that polish that is so often missing on Royal Road. While things are still being set up at this point, it's been very well done and is definitely one that I'm sure everyone will enjoy.
Style: I'm assuming with the rewrite came a clean up of the style. It just looks very clean and easy on the eyes. The writing itself is primarily snappy dialogue and reactions to it. It's fun to read and well done.
Grammar: Looks good.
Story: this one follows a boy/man named Jerome on his quest to survive and keep his found family alive as well. In a very interesting choice, Jerome is a full fledged man in a child's body. It sets him apart and so far has been very well executed.
Characters: This one might be because there isn't a ton of story to read yet, but I struggled with keeping the characters straight from each other. There's Jerome who has his full fledged personality, but everyone else kind of bleeds together. I'm sure that will get better with time though.
Overall, I definitely recommend reading this one. It's very well written and from this early review, appears to be headed towards something great.
Tarrying_soulRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Until chap 19: The grammar and the style don't detract from your reading experience. While the synopsis promised an ancient dark power hungering in the Mc, I for one want the dark power to hunger for a little more time. Cuz, I am enjoying the story of a reincarnated person exploring the world of Vorthe very much.
The characters are very fleshed and the world is interesting. This a must read if you ask me.
HitmarkRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
After reading through your work here are my thoughts.
Style: The prose you use is somewhat simple and vivid. It effectively sends the message of the story and at the same time allows the readers to imagine what us being described clearly. It's not flowery, but it has its own click to it. I think this is a great trait since some people like me, who's first language isn't English will be able to read through without any mishaps.
Plot: So far, everything has been great. The details regarding the power systems, the currencies and language barrier are details that really stood out. Especially since Jerome isn't from this world and his knowledge and wordings may appear odd to some.
Grammar: I didn't notice that much. There are some punctuation errors here and there, but they're too few to make that much of a change. Some of the words used can be a little odd, but still conveys the thoughts well. Some of the parts can use some cutting down since they tend to clump together and appear "big" this can be tiring for some readers.
Characters: This is one of the greatest asset of this story. Each characters were very well thought of. They have their own unique characteristics that fit the "names" they own. They're also highly relatable and the banters they have are just entertaining to watch. The guards are annoying which is a great sign since they're meant to be one.
Overall, it's a 5/5 for me. Highly reccomend for people who like the slum themes like the districts in hunger games and stuff.
LifeWisherRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The story is definitely more polished than its predecessor and shines above many others on RR. It is a solid pick if you want a slow burner that slowly grows in scope and always leaves hints of things to come, which manages to keep the reader interested.
Style: There has been mostly dialogue at the point of this review, but the small snippets of action we have seen from the kids' interactions with the world are very promising for what is to come. The dialogue is good and flows well. The author seems to have improved a lot when I compared it with some chapters of the previous version of this story I accidentally stumbled upon (using google at work to continue reading).
Story: It is a coming-of-age isekai/cultivation story with few twists and an original take on the power system which I enjoyed very much. The author is in no rush, as he sets up his story and I got the sense of the beginning of an epic fantasy adventure from the first few chapters I read. The world gives a sense of being solid and fleshed out which is always good.
Grammar: I have to state that English is my second language. There was no use of words that would stump someone like me, while the grammar itself looks pristine.
Characters: This is probably the one I struggle with. There are many characters that we are introduced to and it is hard to get a sense of their distinct personalities as they often blend, and I am given very little chance to grow fond of them before the MC is whisked away into the next part of the story, leaving them to develop in the background. I hope we get to see more of them in the future, when everyone develops and finds a path in the world the author has created.
AkmedrahRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
TLDR: This story is good! The style is straightforward, with a good storyline that left me wanting to know more; the grammar is good and well-written, and the characters are interesting and fun to see interact. I definitely recommend a read!
STYLE: Overall, the style of this story is rather straightforward. That is not a bad thing though, as it makes it reader-friendly and easy to follow.
STORY: The storyline is quite interesting. I am someone who deeply loves isekai stories, so the isekai elements and 'kernels of earth knowledge' check all the right boxes for me.
GRAMMAR: The grammar is well done, as I always say: Huzzah to the author/editor. Huzzah to grammar. Good work all around.
CHARACTER: The characters are interesting. While part of me wants to see more 'childish' interactions for their age groups, the MC being isekai-ed and potentially rubbing off on his friends is good enough to explain much of their interactions with each other.
OTHER: Overall, this story is well done, and is something that I would not hesitate to recommend to people. I eagerly look forward to seeing the story and characters develop. As a rewrite of another story by the same author, it is apparent that much of the world is already fleshed out and awaiting exploration.
AlathentropyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
A lot of isekai or reincarnation-themed fiction out there has never gelled with me. In several popular shows, for instance, the main character from earth seems to swiftly become very powerful and accomplish what they want with little effort, and I always thought it would be more interesting if they had to struggle more in working against the conflicts of the world.
Dark One does very well at accomplishing just that. The protagonist, Jerome, starts out life stuck in a slum with other orphans, the memories of another life making him knowledgeable but no less powerful, and frequently gets him in trouble with his caretakers or the authorities. But he is marked as special in several ways, and looks to me like he will soon have the chance to make something of himself - this it is a progression fantasy, after all.
Style: The prose flows well and nothing stood out to me as bad stylistically - there were a couple parts I found a little light on description, but to their credit the author is responsive and working to improve them.
Grammar: I saw one or two minor typos but very few of them, so I think it's enough to earn five stars there.
Story: The story has developed Vorthe as quite the grim world, especially for those unfortunates born without power or even names, which does make one to want to see the protagonist and kids in his cohort succeed. I'm not sure if the main conflict of the story has been set up as much yet with the chapters currently out, but it is early on and things seem to be picking up.
Characters: Jerome is a likable protagonist, a bit cocky and sometimes coming off as full of himself, but with the instinct to protect those who need him and to lash out against unfairness and injustice. His caretaker Tara and mentor Rihal are also interesting and likable with their own struggles and looks into their points of view, and I look forward to seeing more major characters of the cast.
Being new to the site, I might not have read the original Dark One, but this rew
Herald Of ChaosRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
A very well written and polished novel. What I like the most about this is that it’s very suitable for binge reading. So far it’s one of the better first dozen or so chapters I’ve read in a while from a new author.
Style: It’s consistent, not too descriptive but it matches the type of genre. The prose seems easy to read and the engagement it gives is pretty solid. I’ve read some fictions that has no showing in them and some that are way too descriptive to the point that it’s overwhelming to read. This one fits right around the middle and most, if not all successful stories share the same trait. Again, if you’re looking for a short(Maybe long in the future) binge read, this is it.
Story: Starts off with Dialogue and action, with slowly building the world at a steady pace. The premise is interesting and the pacing is good. I feel like it’s a mix of character-driven and plot-driven story which is rather rare to find in well written novels. It has all the elements that a progression fantasy needs and I look forward to how it goes.
Grammar: A quality work. I found no issues and it seems polished, almost on the level of published books.
Character: The characters are well described and again the premise is interesting. Jerome’s journey sets off in slum. His interactions with orphans and skirmishes with ones in charge sets the tone. It’s a bit dark, but it makes you feel emotions for the characters. It’s just an example and other characters have their own story and they feel alive. Most of the new writers just write the protagonist with a personality and others are there just to fill up the space, which isn’t the case in this one and others too have some goals. I liked the dialogues between Jerome and Rihal the most.
rem_brandtRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
I read up to chapter 14, but sadly the story couldn't keep my interest.
The writing in and of itself is good. And I really like reincarnation stories.
But I feel this story is not for me. I found the MC a bit annoying and the world didn't captivate me.
And one thing that makes sense from a story telling perspective but not from a readers perspective is: Why is the MC always asking the uninteresting questions?
The MC is supposed to be over 60 years old but behaves more like the kid he appears to others. But i get the irony of complaining about realism in a fantasy story. I think this is more of a me thing, that jarres me out of a story.
Don't let me dissuade you, give this story a try, it is well written.