Cultivine

Information

Status

Completed

Year

2021

Author

B. A. Baker (Thedude3445)

• Vines 10
  Mar 10, 2021
• Vines
  Feb 28, 2021

Reviews

Community Reviews(7)

• noodle the noodleRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  My confusion grows with every chapter I read, but for some reason I'm still reading. I don't know if it's masterpiece or I'm just a dumbass trying to find gold in the garbage. I'm leaning towards masterpiece but that might just be the spiritual vines that are slowly invading my brain.
• DragonOfRochesterRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  While I have only read ONE single chapter, this chapter does not disappoint. It has everything! Cultivation, levels, death, souls, villains, world building, and comedy that transcends the mundane and does not disappoint. But, most importantly, it has VINES!
  The vines are here. The vines are the future. And there will be Cultivine.
• Jarbl RockRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I wanted to se what happens when you press the surprise me button and as it happens you get surprised.
  Now take these five stars for the knuckles rap and never darken my doorway with your vines again.
  or so I like to say, but there’s a word requirement so I’ll go ahead and share my overall thoughts even though I just passed it as we speak.
  The vine thing is clearly an inside joke. I am not inside. I still found it funny. That is all.
  5 stars for humor
  5 stars for nonsense
  5 stars for vines
• AsvilokaRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Vines, vines vines. Vines.
  Yes, there is some fighting and cultivation and system stuff idk. That's not what matters.
  What matters...
  is
  the vines
  VINES.
  Yes, this is what has been lacking to make your life complete. This story, and those like it, will entangle and delight and, most importantly, spread news of the vines.
  Let the vinevolution commence.
• Skylark (Dion Sky)Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I'd been planning to write a joke review for this one, but am finding myself unironically loving it so much that I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
  I won't lie - Cultivine is bad. It's really quite spectacularly bad. It breaks every rule of storytelling there is, goes on wild tangents, breaches the fourth wall constantly, and occasionally devolves into chapters full of (bad) song lyrics.
  It's also absolutely hilarious every step of the way.
  Now, I have a certain affection for terrible movies in the vein of Birdemic and Troll 2. Unlike those, Cultivine is 100% self-aware of its badness and leans into it with all the subtlety of a master satirist seizing an opportunity and using it as a battering ram against the gates of expectation. As a result, it's even more ludicrous and disjointed in the best of ways, poking affectionate fun at cultivation, Royal Road, and storytelling in general.
  I could not stop giggling my way through it.
  In all seriousness, though - if you, like me, are finding yourselves lacking the bad movie experience in web fiction format, I can't think of a better recommendation than this absolute gem of a glorious flaming trainwreck. 100% worth your time.
  Oh, and there are also vines.
• Matt598Royal Road

  ★★★ 2.5

  I love the way you have an audio version at the top of each chapter, but your first real chapter felt like it was too overwhelming with so much jargon that I got lost and couldn't follow what was going on.
  I'm sure it's some people's cup of tea but as a casual fan of cultivation stories less world building and more explanation of how your cultivation works would have probably helped.
• fehaRoyal Road

  ★ 0.5

  Nothing so far (aside from the prologue that explicitly stated it was not going to be part of the story) has had anything to do with the stuff described in the synopsis. And overall each chapter is clearly just a shitpost, such as quoting 2 theme songs verbatim, just namedropping as many titles and characters from RRL as possible, or making as short a chapter as possible where half of it is just repeating the word "vines".