Circle of Shards

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2015

Author

Yog-Sothoth

• Chapter 5
  Dec 21, 2015
• Chapter 4
  Dec 21, 2015
• Chapter 3
  Dec 21, 2015
• Chapter 2
  Dec 21, 2015
• Chapter 1
  Dec 21, 2015
• Circle of Shards - Prologue
  Dec 21, 2015

Reviews

Community Reviews(10)

• StarbringerRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  please no romance or long lasting companions. let him be a lone wander that has a lot of good friends. since his body was make by him, let him not be bias between man and woman or have special treatment because she was beautiful. but if you feel that he has to please someone let him do it without having to be attached to the person after afterwards. how about his weapon later gains sentient and can transform to any other weapon or objects and can later be absorbed into his body because that weapon was made with his energy.
• ddamyonRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  this story has potential. interesting plot, no unnecessary info dumps like in other stories. You  slowly discover the world together with the MC, which helps immersing in the story.
• Hyperion915Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  overall: this is just my recommendation for other readers, just read the thing dudes
  onto the actual review
  style: its like you keep changing dialects, the way you write keeps changing just a bit and it makes the story somewhat confusing. i don't care how you write your stuff and the character dialogue, but keep it a little consistent yea? especially your own narration, you changing and suddenly adding words in that you never used before threw me off entirely. the in our face references are also a bit jarring, subtle is the way to go for that shit
  side note: the use of actual physical laws is interesting, but you're missing all the juicy shit dude. i was sure you'd bring in some relativity for the existence of worlds after all the other stuff but nothing happened with that at all, not to mention the higher branches of the sciences
  story: its good, not much else to say. we havent gotten far enough in for me to really say much about it but its interesting. im curious what will happen when the new body of the protagonist (his name escapes me at the moment) and the old come together, what will you do with the old one? perhaps use it in the guise of the student of his new body?
  grammar: you keep mixing words up and your punctuation needs work, and this is the biggest part of what makes your writing somewhat confusing. the dialect wouldnt have really mattered (though it would still have been jarring) if this stuff was properly done, and even without the other shit this makes the story slightly hard to read
  characters: theyre good, not much more i can say. all of them are varied with distinct personalities and they are all pretty believable, though picking up the story halfway through when i finished it this time did make things a bit confusing
  the actual overall: basically, fix that grammar stuff and you're good
• General Use OnlyRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Great story so far.
  However, a note for the author. Rather than going on long-winded description of of his observations, simply write about his actions. You can let the readers extract far more information when you imply things instead. Their imagination are the greatest asset you use as a writer.
  The author often goes on a tirade of descriptions which ruins the pacing. The flow of the story is slowed, and instead of being immersed in the story, we`re immersed in paragraphs. Consider adding rhythm. Add short bursts of actions, and then use those actions to describe the MC`s observations.
• Jack BlankRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  High praise when I say your characters come to life. Unfortunately the few people that did, got put in some boring situations. I love the casually brutal humorous nature of out MC. I just don't always like the people around him.
  Regardless, our MC has power to explore and enemies to face, allies to build. A classic rise to power with a refreshing twist. Not absolutely the best story in the world, it's one I can say I've enjoyed A LOT. Hope it continues in the future.
• F.DjRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Style;
  ~ First thing first, though I'm late I still glad I found this story here between RRL  stacks. This story kinda refreshing, especially the light humour and the main theme. The story itself was well written, quite well planned and flowing nicely. But the most important thing is how the author able made the story so easy to digest. I give you 5 cookies for that, well done.
  Story (SPOILER ALERT!!!) ;
  ~ The story theme is about dimensions jumper/traveler (that would be the summary of it), the term "dimensions traveler" is more fitting rather than the worlds traveler which is used in the story. And it had a slow pace and a short chapter. Fortunately even though the pace is slow it didn't get booring, thanks to the author writing style.
  At the earlier chapters the kidnapped MC was turned into an OP undead skeleton, later we'll be brought into an impression that he'll become a Lich necromancer. But apparently the author changed his mind a few times. After become xianxia martial artist later he turned out into some kinda Einstein-Warrior Magician which is potentially too OP because its mimicking God ability, turning energy into matter and vice versa. And he's still an undead, but a unique ones that had functional horse dick, literally, lol.
  When the dimension traveling was revealed in the middle of the story, it came to me like "what a blunder", he put the possible card too soon. The plot twist clearly was the author's another impulsive urge, its like he lost his will to develop the current world and just skip it. Well it might be because RL has given him a little more time to indulge himself in developing the story, or he's just an impulsive guy?? It made the later chapter (currently I'm at 35s) felt kinda a bit lost, dragging the the story pace more slow. It's 36 chapters already and it still feel like I'm reading the prologue. I give you 3 cookies for that, well it might change in the future, "IF" you didn't drop it that is.
  Grammar;
  ~ My grammar is suck,  it'll b
• JohnbonkenRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  This story needs a proof reader, more than anything else the biggest problem with the story is that for every 6 sentences with solid grammar and word choice there is one, or two sentences that are a struggle to get through.  The inconsistent nature of the writing more than anything else stopped me from really getting into the story.
  Style: there is a good mix of story and exposition, I don't really have a lot of complaints but there are a couple of info dumps that are really boring.  They more than anything else stop the style score from being 5 stars.
  Story: the actual story is great it flows smoothly and progresses logically. There mysteries built into the story that make you look forward to future chapters while maintaining enough action to keep the tale from becoming stale.
  Grammar: This is what's really holding the story back, there are too many mistakes and misused words. It would be one thing if every chapter was the same but they aren't instead you'll have one chapter with solid grammar followed by another that's a chore to get through. Having a proof reader go through and fix stuff would easily put you in the 4.5 to 5 star range.
  Character: OP MC with deadened emotions, hot elf in love with mc... Not exactly the most original cast of characters, having said that there are still plenty of other enjoyable characters that come into play.  Some of the characters are so unique I had to change the rating for this section.
• OdysseusRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  I like the story, and I like th characters, I recommend you give it a try.
  If this story has one major flaw, it's the action scenes. The main character is just ignored for large parts of these, and it gives the idea that he's just standing there doing nothing for large parts of it. Even when he does act it's kind of hard to follow, other than that it's a nice story tho.
• drizzRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  This is a good story plagued by very frequent grammatical mistakes (at least one per paragraph) and an empty main character.
  I should add: an empty main character without a supporting cast. What could've been a decent way to get some much needed character development done turned into a weird and stilted introduction of a rather generic side character. Who then turned out to see the main character as her master. Who could've guessed. Since I didn't get particularly far, there's still no other characters to be introduced (anything but that would've been odd, given the circumstances, so this isn't a negative point) which is why I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt with 3 stars here.
  As I mentioned previously, the grammar is not particularly good and very far from "perfect" as some other reviewers describe it. I have a feeling that using something like grammarly which also corrects sentence structure and misplaced words could benefit you -- I can't remember seeing any typos that your run of the mill spell checker would catch.
  The storytelling is solid though, as is the world. Both lack depth and engagement, but they still kept me going through the grammatical mistakes and stilted characters, so that's something.
• GuthanRoyal Road

  ★★★ 2.5

  I started this story feeling interested and curious about the mysterious world our MC found himself in. As he met our lovely Eala I wondered what new world and adventure our heroes would find.
  Imagine my disappointment when they head back to boring earth and the story quality drops off a cliffface. Eala gone and our protagonist dicks around doing nothing interesting. Why even introduce a character and make us like her, then throw them away like hot garbage?
  1 Star for turning a good story with endless possibilities into a Buffy the vampire slayer AU.