Children of Nemeah: Evolution of a warrior (epic progression fantasy)

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2021

Author

D.C.Veiling

• Chapter 1
  Jul 7, 2021

Reviews

Community Reviews(10)

• kieranpierceRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This is my updated review after not my first time, but SECOND time reading.
  And I'm someone who doesn't really reread things hardly ever, but I did enjoy rereading Children of Nemeah!
  Siegfried is a normal guardsman who accomplishes the rare feat of killing a changeling, though things don't stay normal for him for long....
  The plot is a wild ride! The many exciting action scenes will keep you reading. Both times that I've read it, I preferred binging the chapters because yes, it's such a good story.
  Sieg is a tough but also endearing character. He does not actively seek out being a hero, but he will go to great lengths to save those he cares about--allowing his truly heoric qualities to shine through.
  He thrives alongside the rest of the cast, which is one of the huge strengths of this story. You have a lot of characters that have all of the right connections to each other.... It's wonderful getting to know the different characters and see their interactions--epic, humorous, amorous, heart-wrenching, gut-wrenching--this story can hit you in all the feels.
  If you're a fan of fantasy, especially some of the more traditional fantasy epics, this tale makes for a thrilling and original story that you should get reading already!
• Kelly_read_onlyRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This is the first review I ever gave and I don't believe it will give the Author enough credit, but I'll try nonetheless:
  I am a fan of medieval fantasy like GOT and I found a treasure in this fiction!
  Yes, it is dark at times, it is brutal at times, but it is also thrilling, funny, lovely and serene afterwards. I feel like I'm constantly thrown into sudden changes of the story while never losing the red line of the plot. I am bound by the characters to the point that I bleed and hope with them!
  Haylee alone deserves five stars for the character as she is so lovely described, I could picture her right next to me, telling me a dumb joke (or slitting my throat)!
  Siegfried, the most important character seemed mysterious and distant at the start and with time he suddenly came alive like no other character I've seen before, showing his very own personality and later on telling us how he came to be like that. That scene was throwing me off the chair like nothing else!
  If this is ever going to be published, I will buy the bound-book version and make place on the shelf between Eragon and GOT!
• OntoSomethingGoodRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  So, I'll share my thoughts on the chapters as I read them.
  Chapter 1 -  This is the introductory chapter where a young Rick joins the guards to work with his hero, the MC. The author had used this premise brilliantly to lay MC's character and traits out. It also seamlessly introduces some side characters and foreshadows some of the future development, a possible conflict between Rick and his hero.
  Nice introduction and a great start!
  Chapter 2 -  The introduction flows smoothly from the first chapter, this time covering the MC's background. I also like the way a flashback is used. It gives a great insight into Sieg's character and also brings intrigue as to his real origins. Well done author for the smooth execution.
  Overall, a good story with good potential. I like the fact that the author has not crammed numerous otherworldly creatures/world-building into the introduction, as that always makes the reading tedious/overwhelming for me. So extra points for that :)
• Vitaly S AlexiusRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This book has a serious muscular dude on the cover but don't that discourage you - this book is very strong on its own! :p
  Let me take you to the land of Nemeah, my dear review reader. Nemeah has been beset by monster changelings who could be anyone. Even your mom. This isn't just a joke either. For example one of protagonist's life has been greatly impacted by the changelings as his father had to throw himself into a furnace along with a young girl, now that's one damn dark hook of the main character's backstory. He's batman, except changelingman. The changeling's worst enemy. He aint' scared of no ghost, I mean changeling. Okay, that's enough silly relatable movie reference banter, lets dig into the meat, I mean the pages within this masterpiece.
  Grammar is very good. No visible fails or mistakes. Five updoots there.
  Style is very lovely. I can focus on this book without getting confused or distracted, easely lose myself in its pages as D.C.Veiling takes me on a journey across Nemeah, drawing environments with well placed words, depicting love and monsters with flavours of adjectives and verbs of all sorts. Seriously, this is a great original series. Probably not RR's cup of tea as people here expect litrpgs and isekais and xanxias, but totally a beautiful thing to appreciate if you're into a grimdark or gothic horror fantasy setting! The action is exciting and flavourful and fun. Simply superb!
  Characters are of particularly high quality. The protagonist Rick has a good hook, flaws and feels very real. His first love interest Jessie under the moonlit city is quite well described as well. Would fall in love too. And Siegfried is an epic hero who fights monsters in various exciting action cinematic-style events. Five stars.
  Progression part of the book starts around chapter 24, it's a bit of a slow burn that way, but I love it nevertheless.
  This book reminds me of anime Claymore - there's lots of gore, death and even sexual scenes. Love it and will recommend you ch
• _GlassesRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Children of Nemeah, a rewrite of one of the author's stories, begins with the introduction of Rick and Siegfried, the former a fresh recruit to a monster-slaying defense force and the latter the urban legend prodigy of the same organization.
  The prose and grammer is quality and the worldbuilding is easy to digest, with some aspects being extrapolated on in flashbacks, but otherwise being left for future investment.
  The story is a good start, quickly placing the building blocks of conflict between the characters as they are introduced, giving them motivation and origins that will certainly play into the story later on.
  My ownly gripe is the dialogue sometimes feels unnatural, more their for exposition than natural conversation, and I think that shortening the sentences and enlongating the conversation as a whole [The same information, just over the course of a longer conversation] would help that.
  That said, the story is very enjoyable and I am interested to see how it goes from here! The author certainly has a specific story in mind to tell and I think that is the most important thing for any writing!
  Good luck!
• incarnadineRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  A strong medieval fantasy with solid plot, world-building, and conflict. Good job to you, D.C. Veiling!
  The story starts off with the introduction of Rick, changelings, the MC, and the world, Nemeah.
  The Red Brigade is not as it seems, contrary to most fantasy force-that-can-save-the-world protector organizations.
  I personally really like the setting of it - Sieg's character as well as the changeling incident and how there are methods to deal against them, the Red Brigade and Nemeah as a whole, is genuinely well-developed. The main criticism I have, however, is a bit with the female side characters, who don't seem to have as solid personalities as the main ones (like Sieg, etc.).
  The story's plot is laid out as Sieg's role as the main character gets gradually revealed, conflicts with the side characters are revealed, and the later chapters go more into depth with Siegfried and the plot.
  I genuinely like how you describe fight scenes, though. It pulls me into the story, and I really think that's Children of Nemeah's crowning glory. A story with good potential, especially for those who love the action and adventure genre - layers and layers of intrigue.
  Keep up the good work!
• TrilianRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  D.C. Veiling brings a world to life in Children of Nemeah full of action-packed plot, a diverse range of characters with unique motivations, and interesting lore that keeps you wondering as you turn the pages.
  Style: Veiling uses third-person omniscient to deliver a complex storyline from the perspective of several characters.  Overall, this is an effective method for this kind of story-telling and I enjoyed the freedom it allowed for exposition and plot advancement.  The pacing of the story is just enough to keep you on your toes, but slows down at times to flesh out its characters.
  Story: The story is one of the most compelling I've read on Royal Road.  With multiple layers of factions and intrigue (avoiding spoilers), you're left with a familiar world that avoids many cliches.  If you think action fantasy is a tad overdone and want to pass this story up, you'd be making a mistake.  There is a lot that Veiling creates here with Children of Nemeah that keeps you guessing.
  Grammar: A few typos here and there, but nothing that inhibits the flow of the story.  The author also frequently goes back and edits based on reader comments, showing attentiveness to his work.
  Character Score:  Really, the cast of characters is so well-done and fleshed out you could argue that there are several main protagonists.  Rick is perhaps the most logical choice for protagonist, but characters like Siegfried and Haylee easily vie for the top slot.  The interplay between this small squad of guards shows a lot of depth among the characters, and helps explain much of the current events/situation in Nemeah.
  Children of Nemeah is definitely worth the read!  It's hard to put down once you start, and I've found myself digging through chapter after chapter on more than one occasion!
• WinnieSallowRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Children of Nemeah begins with your typical crop of heroes training to protect other citizens from transformed individals. On the surface, it seems like a straightforward battle between good and evil, but the story evolves into something more complex rather quickly. It has action, character conflicts, and even a touch of politics.
  At the core of this story are action and strong male characters. First, let's start with the action. There isn't a true in media res start. We aren't thrown into the middle of a battle, but instead get a look at combat training and the characters that will carry the narrative. I think it's a good beginning as the conflicts between characters play more important roles as the story goes on. These conflicts would have little impact if we didn't first see an earlier stage of their relationships. So, it's a not an in-your-face start, but it fulfills its purpose well.
  Speaking of characters, there isn't just one mc. A lot of characters receive passages told from their headspace, Rick and Siegfried especially. Rick is the new guy of the group. He's eager to make himself useful and form bonds with the team, especially certain members. Siegfried is more of an epic hero, the likes of which you would see in old sagas, like the Song of the Nibelungs. His morals are on the straight and narrow, and he also embodies the physical package. It makes sense as he shares his name with one of the heroes of the aforementioned story.
  Overall, the characters' thoughts, actions, and dialogue make sense and flow naturally. The male characterization is quite a bit stronger, but there are female members of the team. They just haven't been rounded out yet. For the most part, the characters are pretty likeable, but it's inevitable that readers will develop their favorites, given that the characters don't always agree on the best course of action.
  The style is like a cross between fantasy tales of the 80s/90s and more mature anime. Characters' emotions and the action are
• YAK EdgeRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Story
  Children of Nemeah is a dark fantasy/horror mashup taking cues from european folklore. It combines interesting myths in a seemingly standard medieval Europe setting, but not without shrouding the world in a mist of intrigue and wonder.
  While the world is interesting and the characters possess enough charm to want to follow them, the biggest problem is that the story starts too early, which is all too common with many stories. Chapter 4 which starts the confrontation with the first changeling works better as a hook than the previous chapters. Starting with the fight, using it to introduce the characters, and following up with Chapter 6 which gives us the first big mystery and "game changer" would allow for a better flow that keeps the readers engaged imo.
  And boy was that a surprise. It was unexpected and introduced a new paradigm into the story. Anyone who wants to try out the story should at least read until chapter 6.
  Grammar: I didn't encounter too many problems here. And considering that this is part of the Writhalon where quantity is more important, some leniency should be expected.
  Style: For the standards of Royal Road, the prose is more than acceptable. And as it's again the Writhalon, I expect the author to edit the sections once the month is over. The only gripe I had was that the pov switches between Siegfried and Rick overlapping and at times I got confused whose POV it was. T
  hat being said, since the author wants to make the story publishable, there are a few areas where the style can be improved:
  - Emotions and mental states are often told instead of being shown. That prevents a deeper immersion and connection with the characters. Instead of saying that a character was surprised or felt a deep anger, body language and thoughts would allow to convey the same and create a connection to the characters.
  - Less adverbs. Instead of them, stronger verbs allow the story to be more dynamic.
  - Said, ask, or body language suffice most of the time as dialog
• Jacob A ZuckerRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Style
  The author's writing is really solid. It can be a bit wordy and cumbersome at times, but not enough to detract from the actual story. It's very descriptive prose that makes sure every scene is vivid and well-imagined.
  Grammar
  No complaints. Solid. I caught a couple of small errors, but nothing significant.
  Story
  I'm enjoying the gothic horror vibe of the story. The creatures are frightening and the action sequences engaging. It definitely feels like it's shaping up to be more of a serial than a cohesive beginning/middle/end novel. I don't know if that's the intention or not. The jumping around and pace of the narrative can be a bit jarring at times.
  Character
  Definitely the most room for improvement here. They just feel a bit...hollow. For example, the only woman is immediately becomes the caricature of the sex-symbol. Some of the male characters have more well-rounded personalities, but could similarly benefit from a few more defining traits. Also, the names felt a little mundane for the setting (Josh, Rick, Jessie, etc.).
  Overall
  A good start! It's a fun story with plenty of action. The characters have a good rapport, and if you like banter you won't be dissatisfied. It's got the bones of a good "band of brothers" type of story. I fully expect lots of daring exploits and epic fight sequences in the chapters to come.