Camiare: An Isekai

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Dominic Miller lived an average and simple life until he was suddenly reborn as Nathaniel Armis into a strange world. Dominic, now Nathaniel, soon comes to accept his isekai situation and works hard to become strong like any other isekai protagonists. However, he soon comes to learn the harsh reality that blindly climbing upward will only cause one to fall, hard. Meanwhile, an ancient prophecy surrounding Nathaniel's best friend looms in the horizon, along with signs of a massive demon invasion from the south. Not only that, conspiracies haunt the very structure of Camiare. At the same time, Nathaniel must figure out the mystery behind the Ortus Project, the only hint he has about his mysterious rebirth.

Enjoy! (comment any ideas or thoughts, I would love to get some feedback!)

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2019
Author: Nie Li

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.1/ 5.0
Followers: 123
Views: 52,382

Chapters(33 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(2)

Vic20Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I like the novel that you have made and hope you can keep going, and i kind of think that i will be great if you could also make some good demons or monster girls for the main with the ortus sistem because i think he will end up has something more than human or normal? Amd also because i love monster and demon women lol
Andrew B. SalmonRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
EDIT: The story improves dramatically after a rough start. I'm bumping up to 4 stars. :)
Hello Nie Li,
I've read the chapters you've posted so far. It's clear you're passionate about the project. You've got the bare bones of an entertaining story, although I would recommend brushing up on grammar and structure. The beginning is too rushed and lacking in meaningful context. I know you're writing isekai, and that's fun, but we don't need to be reminded of it in the text itself every few paragraphs. Your characters feel quite stock at the moment, but they're starting to take on shape and agency as the story progresses; try to find details that differentiate them from other, similar stories in the genre.
I'd like you to consider removing much of the fourth-wall narration, however. Others may disagree, but I found them distracting from the story and unnecessary. Most of your readers in this target audience will likely be aware of the concepts you're presenting, so the information isn't required. Related to this, try to reserve parenthetical statements for moments when they're useful, not just because you wanted to add something to the text. Clarity and immersion go a long way to improving your story.
Additionally, as a parent, I had a bit of a tough time with your child/parent interactions. I understand that Nate isn't a typical child, but still, it's a bit clunky. First words usually aren't a point of contention in a healthy household. :)
Keep it up! People are reading and enjoying the story. That's a great place to start. I'll follow the rest of what you put out. Let me know if you have any other questions!