Begsissbbdd

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2018

Author

ikkarus

• Not a chapter
  Jan 28, 2018
• Chapter 16
  Jan 27, 2018
• Chapter 15
  Jan 26, 2018
• Chapter 14
  Jan 25, 2018
• Chapter 13
  Jan 24, 2018
• Chapter 12(Edited)
  Jan 24, 2018
• Chapter 11(Edited)
  Jan 21, 2018
• Chapter 10(Edited)
  Jan 20, 2018
• Chapter 9(Edited)
  Jan 17, 2018
• Chapter 8(Edited)
  Dec 19, 2017
• Chapter 7(Edited)
  Dec 18, 2017
• Chapter 6(Edited)
  Dec 17, 2017
• Chapter 5(Edited)
  Dec 16, 2017
• Chapter 4(Edited)
  Dec 16, 2017
• Chapter 3(Edited)
  Dec 15, 2017
• Chapter 2- Edited
  Dec 14, 2017
• Chapter 1- Edited
  Jan 27, 2018

Reviews

Community Reviews(10)

• ZarconRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  enjoyable, fun, your story is good at least for me.
  and continue your hard work, i like to read this story to the end~
• EternityGamerRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I agree Athame and i would like to see this story continue for a really long time.You have a great idea and i hate stories with a lot of potential to just stop. Pls continue and i believe in you. Yours truly a fan from day 1
• Pierre le loupRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  The story is quiet good so continue it and write the most possible because you will improve a lot if you write a lot. Take the good criticism and just forget the bad one.
  The grammar is not pretty but I can understand it so it's good for me.
  Take your time to developp the character the idea of childhood friend is cliche but good. But you need to build the emotional side better, it's rather plain.
  I only read 8 chapters so it's possible that the story will dramatically change.
  But for the moment I love it so please CONTINUE.
• AbramRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  Spoiler: Spoiler
  The story is fine. It's a little cliche, but it was okay. Now, i like the MC being pissed off and being straight-foward, but he needs to sometime think before he acts about the consequences. I mean he has high-intelligence now. and the side-characters needs to be more interactive. Rather than being most of the times one-dimensional.  Yeah, overall the story is good. But, the characters needs a little development. Don't worry it's still not too late change that.
• ErkalothRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  Well, I'm not used at making reviews but let's start. The grammar is horrible. I don't say that my grammar is good or anything but it's still ok. The style is interesting to say the least. The story itself... I like it since it's a good read (at least for me ) when you don't have what to read.
• EnforcingknRoyal Road

  ★★ 2.0

  The gammar in this story needs to go to church, and reading this felt like I was taking a challenge to see how far I could get in the story while being tortured at the same time. I whole heartedly wanted to become a gammar nazi after this.
  On a positive note the idea, and story are great, but it feels like the author read a bunch of similar novels, but doesnt understand why the novels have certain elements in them. For example if your character is the only one in the story with the system, and the only one with access to monsters, why in the hell did he ask for double exp? Just give him the vaules you want for killing monsters theres no reason to even ask for double exp, whats he comparing it to. The AI says he's "too weak" to kill skeletons up front, so he should surprise them, but then he one hits them, and the AI says its possible if you hit them in the head. The MC prays to god for 5 months and just gets what he wants cause he annoyed GOD. GOD, who listens to billions of people at a time, gets annoyed at one person for praying for 5 monhs, makes no sense. You also dont understand comedy enough to write it in a story, and you characters interact like they are mentally challenged. Anyway the idea is good, nothing new for sure, I like the genre alot, and if this could get rewriten it would be awesome. You need a editor badly, and should probably write out were you want the story to go before you keep writing. Really I just wanted to write a helpful review to up the quality but the more I wrote the more I remembered.
• Bob10543Royal Road

  ★★ 2.0

  Get an editor or anyone who has ever written using English. Maybe then you'll have something readable.
  If this was legible, then it would be 3 stars compared the majority of the other garbage that you'll find on RRL.
  Other than that, good on you for keeping up with your story for as long as you have. If it's any consolation, a majority of people won't make it to as many chapters as you have so far.
  Good luck with your revenge fantasy.
• AthameRoyal Road

  ★★ 1.5

  I am not writing this "review" to hate on you or anything like that, I would like to see you improve because of your mistakes and polish or rather rewrite your novel into something you would be proud to say that it's worth to read. I will mention many things so it would most likely spoil some things for you, read at your own risk.
  I will start with something positive, your idea of story isn't something new, there are a couple of similar concept, but it is still fresh and will attract readers.
  Now many negatives, I will try to point out everything I remember, let's start with the grammar and style, then characters and story.
  English is not my native language so I am not so picky about grammar, but if there are so many mistakes then it's painful to read. Try to read everything you wrote and correct it, if you suck at it then try to get some help, either by trying to get someone else to check it or by using programms to do it for you.
  For style I can't say too much, you only wrote 8 chapters so it's hard to say if you are improving. There is nothing wrong with writing everything short and simple, but too many colloquialisms will lower the quality of your styke by a lot. Beside that you should try to describe characters and places where they are. By describing characters I mean physically, their personality you should show by their actions. If you as an author can describe the characters and places only by something like this: "he is ugly", "it's a cementery", "they are in a forest" then everything about the story will be fuzzy and not memorable, so people will read it then forget it because there is nothing that you can remember about it.
  Now for the characters, the main character is noone worth remembering, he is ugly, for a few chapters, because he got handsome quickly thanks to his ability, then the only thing I can remember about him is that he is complete moron, despite playing RPG games he seems like complete noob about everything, the only thing he could do was
• TilaztRoyal Road

  ★★ 1.5

  The concept is not new, or creative at all. But that could still be a good story if the writing was better. I’m sure you could do much much bette if you feed your raw text to grammarly or some such. Also something to improve; your expression sucks. The MC talks like a 3 year old and you lack apropriate linking words. I is not readable in this state.
  I hope however that you will improve and I am sure that this has potential to be a fun read
• FlashfyreRoyal Road

  ★ 1.0

  You had a bad start with a entitled ugly freak with anger issues who does not get any better and becomes less and less appealing to even follow any of his actions as it goes on. The grammar is quite bad, I am guessing English is not your first language.
  My advice is to abandon ship to those who want to read this, there is no perception of pacing in this fiction and the characters are dull and witless, and plot devices are thrown in randomly because the author didn't plan ahead whatsoever before they started writing. Essentially brain barf style writing.