Bar Fights and Blood Rites [Comedy D&D PF]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Adventurers and Chaos. Name a more iconic duo. Syril the bard and Grom the false cleric of a particularly vengeful god are wanted men trying to keep a low profile, a task often incompatible with their line of work. With the addition of a wizard with a penchant for making deals with powers that ought to be left alone, and a rogue who finds murder the panacea for most of life’s troubles, lying low doesn’t come easy. Then there's Bill, but he died, so they don’t need to worry about him screwing anything else up. When people begin to go missing in the city, and the disappearances continue after dealing with the more likely source, the party suspects that the truth might be a little more complicated. As they dig for answers, shadows from their own secret pasts are quick to return, complicating it all further. Will they solve the mysteries? Will they survive? Or will they simply make all the problems worse? In any case, it will be entertaining while it lasts. This story is a fantasy comedy first and a progression fantasy second. There is action and progression (though no system) but the primary intent of writing this story was to capture the feel of a group playing D&D. Namely, going about serious buisness in a ridiculous way, where the characters choices in the end prevent slightly more harm than they cause. Daily posting for a month to hit RS, then I will go down to 2x a week

Information

Status: Ongoing
Year: 2026
Author: TK523

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.6/ 5.0
Followers: 366
Views: 35,514

What readers say about Bar Fights and Blood Rites [Comedy D&D PF]

“Ok, if I could write reviews, I would write a story, not reviews. So don't waste your time with this, read the story. The story is not serious. You may even laugh. What to expect: - surprises - good old memories of forgotten fun days (that is, if you have a…”
mayainmayaRoyal Road5.0 / 5
“Overall: Bar Fights & Blood Rites is an excellent read. The story is like that perfect bridge between my experience in group games and what I imagine it might be like for our characters. It’s a lot of fun, the jokes are snappy, and the rogue is…well I won’t…”
FloraHeart897Royal Road5.0 / 5

Reviews

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Community Reviews(8)

mayainmayaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Ok, if I could write reviews, I would write a story, not reviews.
So don't waste your time with this, read the story.
The story is not serious. You may even laugh.
What to expect:
- surprises
- good old memories of forgotten fun days (that is, if you have any good memories playing pen and paper, otherwise you migth just feel estranged or lost or even repulsed.)
- jokes about dwarfs (if you join me in pushing the author towards this, little success up to now)
- probably a multi-book campain that starts promising and slides into chaos and fire-bombing after the first chapter (edit: this was wrong, city is still standing in chapter 2, we'll see, perhaps the slope is really low or it is going to be more epic)
- why are you still reading this? Go back to line 2!
FloraHeart897Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Overall: Bar Fights & Blood Rites is an excellent read. The story is like that perfect bridge between my experience in group games and what I imagine it might be like for our characters. It’s a lot of fun, the jokes are snappy, and the rogue is…well I won’t spoil it. You’ll see! It’s honestly, a little hard to talk about without giving the best stuff away! The best way I’ve found to think about is “a group of adventurers, for variously hilarious reasons, came together in a town and got stuff done. In style.
Style: Really really high. This book is clearly trying to embody realistic characters where not every person begins good aligned. There’s a real sense of in medias res. The action is already over or happening and you get to enjoy the fun parts.
Story: This category is good, but it feels like a primarily light hearted romp. It feels like it’s going somewhere entertaining, and it’s hard for me to ask for much different. I do want to know how it ends though.
Character: I love these guys! I wasn’t sure I’d like all of them but now I pretty much do. They are believably grey to me. The party just works really well for me.
Grammar: Honestly, the weakest part. Just by a little bit though. A few misplaced words, otherwise it’s fine.
I really like this story and look forward to seeing how it all plays out.
GlimburRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Funny! The characters act like dungeons and dragons characters, from the see-sawing morality to the reckless disregard for their own safety. The understated style helps emphasize the humor, story makes me want to read more, and it's just plain fun.
The setting is a bit generic European fantasy, but that's fine. It helps the reader understand what is going on faster and is true to the 'what if you told the story of a real D&D game from the character perspective?'
Best character is of course the LE rogue, but they are all stand outs in their own way. There is a stylistic choice to go lighter on combat descriptions but I think that keeps the comedy popping. I want to read what happens next, and what more do you want from a story?
JagerichRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I randomly found one of the authors prior works years ago, and liked it so much I buy everything he publishes on Kindle. And now I check RR stories in progress several times a day to get my fix. And then sometimes go back and read the books again while I wait for more chapters.
This story is more fun in tone than previous - I like that the usual D&D tropes are being deconstructed and played with. I encourage anyone looking for a fun fantasy to give it a go.
Nis_3Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The story truly captures the spirit and essence of what I'd envision as a well-crafted Dungeons & Dragons campaign. The writing style is accessible and engaging, making it easy to follow and immerse myself in the narrative. What I particularly appreciate is that the characters feel like actual people, not just cardboard cutouts representing various dimensions.
The story is also filled with humor and unexpected twists. It manages to maintain a lighthearted tone while delivering a genuine surprise that I didn't anticipate.
NorskDaedalusRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Character is where this story most shines, but it certainly doesn’t have any glaring weaknesses either. With lots of top-notch banter, the likes of which I would say are quintessentially RPG adventurer party if I’d ever seen a TTRPG with this level of reliable wit.
Everyone is distinct and amusing in their own way, incredibly memorable and with all the quirks and wild backstories expected of an affectionate DND lighthearted pseudo-parody.
The grammar is perfectly fine, no notable issues and does its job well without distracting from the prose.
Plenty of humor and (so far) low stakes may mean it’s not for everyone, and while it may still be early on it’s a delight to have an actual adventuring party deal with scheduling conflicts for the pressing plot hook, deal with accidentally resurrecting people they would rather stay dead, try to figure out whether the local count is a vampire, and all the kinds of nonsense the platonic ideal of adventurers would get up to.
Bar fights abound, nebulously evil blood rituals are plenty common, and what more could you really ask for?
Except maybe for your definitely-a-Raven familiar to stop growing extra eyeballs, because it’s attracting too much attention.
Absolutely worth a try.
matttherogueRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Full disclaimer - I had the opportunity to read some of this before it was published on RR.
This is a fun, casual story about an adventuring party and the hijinks and mayhem just being around one can cause. While they're not looking for trouble, it seems like trouble is out to ruin their day. It's like a D&D game if the players were actually good at comedy. Easy reading, but not mindless. Use it as a palate cleanser or binge it as comedy campaign, but it's something to keep in your follow list.
CB4Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
“My goddess—” the boy began again.
“Is probably a wonderful deity, but we really must be going,” Syril said. “Good luck with your tragic back story and all that.”
This story really is a trip down D&D memory lane I love it, keeps getting better with each chapter too.