Apprentice's Ascension

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2021

Author

Jonsoon

• Chapter 1: The Templaga
  Aug 19, 2021

Reviews

Community Reviews(4)

• BullerRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  On phone.
  Formatting is eh. Not following the standard which isnt inherently bad but does cause some confusion at the start.
  Personality doesn't hit. Needs work. Grammar is fine with only minor issues.
  Overall, i would give this a 4/5. I do recommend it from a potential standpoint. Please let this be 50 words
• Hi_Im_RenRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  You should give this a read!
  There's an entire book of content here, and it's all relatively high quality, especially if you're a fan of more traditional bookstore-type material. The characterization is powerful!
  The main reason I liked this fiction is that the characters have a certain degree of oomph to them. They also aren't all likable, but I think that's okay; simply having a character that is characterized enough to have that opinion demonstrates the quality of the character's writing. I'd rather have a protagonist that I dislike than a protagonist I feel nothing towards.
  Style is good; as other reviews have mentioned, it doesn't feel 'web novel.'  It would be best if you wrote the way you like best; I'm not detracting points because of that, but rather that some paragraphs don't flow well, and some sentences have strange structures that take me out of immersion. With some editing, you can fix this easily; there's enough here that it really won't be a lot of work to enhance this.
  Grammar is solid. For the most part, you won't notice it. I think the writing could be improved with some more punctuation marks that aren't periods. More colons, semicolons, and em dashes!
  Finally, the story, it's a little difficult for me to tell. It has potential, seeming to be a rags-to-riches type story, but I think it will depend on how it evolves over time.
• Blind SerpentRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  The story has good potential.
  Overall, the world that is developed comes off quite nicely - different locations, kingdoms, peoples. Perhaps the names are a bit unusual and combined with volume I really couldn't follow them all.
  We have two POV characters, initially starting off differently but then they both are somewhat similar, their narratives seem similar too. They fight with high skill, etc.
  I am more excited about the second character's journey, a little more emotional investment. The first Pirate Captain - though starting off very intriguing, continued into a suspension of disbelief requiring situation before the story shifts away from him. That made me less invested.
  I would even have rather started first with the second character. Still not 100% certain what the main narrative or danger is - though Pirate Captain declared his eventual desire, but it's unclear whether that is also the second character's main narrative?
  The style flows nicely. Nothing jarring. There are the occasional abrupt breaks, not sure that they work too well.
  I would say that the dialogue is a bit stiff - it isn't snippy and flowing, it is overly expositioney and heavy. I think it is probably the biggest point of potential improvement.
  There is also a scene where the second MC fights off several guards and something like 9 or 10 fights ensure at fairly good detail. That just became repetitive. I wanted to know what happens next, but i'd have had the same experience if I only read about 2-3 fights and skipped to the boss fight after.
  Grammar seemed fine to me.
  Character:
  Again, second character is definitely much better developed. There is a depth, there is surprise. I am curious about him. The first guy - pirate captain - I honestly don't really care to know what happens to him. His scenes are a little impersonal and I don't feel that I have insight into him overall.
  The supporting cast is pretty good.
  As I said, it starts off strong, especially with the second POV character, and there
• _Fowl_Royal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  In a matter of few chapters, we see many characters, places, personalities, potential stories and so on.
  The writing is good, but there is a bit of confusion. I am partially guilty since I've been reading this while being quite tired; therefore, it might have been more my fault than anything else.
  In any case, a more straightforward narration might have made it easier to follow.
  Let's get to the review:
  Style 4/5 - It could have been better. Paragraphs are a bit heavy and the overall style does not suit a web novel that well. This is book store material, less web novel material. One might think that it is a bit weird to say something like that, and sometimes I agree. However, in this case, the style is as far as you can imagine from a web standard. I read web novels on RR hoping to find something different compared to the mainstream. This was not the case. Now, it may be a good thing, considering that most web novels fail spectacularly in what they trying to do. So, solid style, not my cup of tea. Nice fights, though.
  Characters 3.5/5 - A little harsh, I think. On the one hand, some characters, like Geruke, have a powerful inner voice. On the other, they sometimes flatten out: meaning that they become too stereotypical and the voice of the author trumps the characters'. Lots of potential depth, but it's drowned out by the lengthy style a bit.
  Story 4.5/5 - The evaluation is mostly out of the potential of the story. It's good, there are highlights and we look forward to seeing what's going to happen. So far, a little hard to judge at chapter 6.
  Grammar: 5/5. Good stuff.