A Star Falls Upon Estrea

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

A fantasy story taking place in a relatively peaceful era which has been lasting for two decades after the defeat of Calamity, a mysterious entity which bore hostility to everything. One of the heroes from that time, now already a middle-aged man, was getting a little bored of the peaceful era. Little did he know that something big was coming. Something which would definitely pique his interest.

Updates once every two weeks on Wednesday.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2021
Author: BladeGrip

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.2/ 5.0
Followers: 27
Views: 16,347

Chapters(37 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

AtenburghRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Fantasy and sci-fi mix when one abruptly crashlands into the other - certainly no better way to meet. Already the story has the advantage of having a very fun premise and the added bonus of no clear, well-worn path to travel; I found myself having no idea what could be around the corner with every chapter, which was very fun. The story is developing a bit slowly, hindered by the switching POVs and massive worlds behind each one, but it's still chugging solidly in the right direction.
The world seems very interesting, and I keep coming back to one line: "It was very clearly shown that this planet was habitable by humanity, and there was a fair possibility that it hosted intelligent life. This was basically at least a once-in-a-decade discovery, and any people would be excited for it." Having a universe in which intelligent life could be discovered with enough frequency that there are protocols and expectations yet not to the level of something like Star Trek could lead to some very interesting developments. They acknowledge later that finding this level of intelligent life is almost unheard of, but the fact it is still heard of is very fascinating to me.
Characters are all good. Sedhoust is the most interesting to me, mostly from his backstory, as the retired savior of the world has so much potential for dealing with a new not-quite threat. Elana and her relations with her team are fascinating as well.
Style is a bit lacking, unfortunately. We're told that the ship is big, or that the drakes are green, or other information like that, but unfortunately there aren't descriptions of anything beyond the physical. We don't get to see any details or what our characters focus in on, which could be fun insights into their personalities. The jargon switches from fantasy to sci-fi are very clean though, which does a lot to differentiate characters.
Also, definitely one of the more interesting methods I've ever seen for keeping a language legible but still clearly show that our
Banner CaygeonRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I read the prologues first and was a bit confused, wondering if I had navigated to another page by accident, but all became clear in the first chapter.
(note to the author - I'm not sure the prologues need to be prologues at all and could be later chapters appearing as flashbacks.)
The first chapter is really great as it details the first encounters of the peoples from two worlds. The juxtaposition of their relative technologies is done really well. I also love that there are two strong female leads. It's common to have a single one, but not often there are two. Bechdel test approved!.
The characters are likeable and interesting. The Elena character especially, the grizzled commander of a starship who is adored by her crew.
There are no immediate grammar issues that I can see, though I did find the sound effects a bit jarring, and took me out of the moment. Maybe it's just a font thing, but I read in garamond and the bolded sound effects are really different than the standard body text. Maybe italics might be a way to include them without having it be so in your face.
The author does a really good job with dialogue as well. It's a great device to tell the story without having to explain it in descriptions. At times there was a bit too much dialogue and if your mind drifted for a moment, you lost who was talking. I get the idea to keep successive text in conversation rapid fire, but maybe a few breaks in some places to let the reader regroup. Otherwise, it dialogue is handled extremely well and it serves the story.
Style: there is no frills here (a good thing). The author tells it like it is which keeps the pace up and the focus on the characters who are speaking. The contrast of more literal (vs poetic and metaphorical) descpritions of things vs the dialogue is really well done.
All in all this is a great story, with a very interesting premise and likeable, interesting and unique characters!
_GlassesRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
A tale of a spaceship crashing down into the peaceful era of a fantasy world, beginning a strange and fascinating tale of two worlds literally colliding as the spacefaring visitors learn about their new home.
Grammar & Style
There are barely any grammar issues, which I believe is a big plus, but the style of the story has issues. Mostly, my concerns are with dialogue feeling stilted, which I believe could be rectified with more usage of contractions, pauses, and other writing tricks that make conversations sound more natural.
I also feel like some descriptions and paragraphs are a bit big and overloaded, but I’m self-aware enough to know that’s just my own preference and I believe it wouldn’t be a problem for the average reader.
Story
An adventure packed with twists and turns, both on a larger level and smaller streetwise, I really enjoyed the conflict within the story and the natural evolution of where it’s taking some of the more important characters. I don’t want to spoil anything, but I really liked the conclusions of some of the investigations that happen during the story and the last chapter I read definitely leaves off on a mysterious, ominous edge.
Characters
There are a lot of characters. I think it’s my personal preference for there to be less characters, but I also think the author has done a good job in writing them well, even if the issues with dialogue makes them a little hard to see as real people. The emotions and characterization of the characters, however, feel natural.
I think a glossary of characters for reference would actually be a big benefit for this story, something other books of large characters sometimes do.
BullerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
At some level, I am happy that the story used BOLD TEXT to highlight onomatopoeia. At the very, it's better than the ones thinking that *this is still in fashion.* While I personally dislike the practice, this story does it rarely enough and within reason. It could have done without without losing too much fo the original message but whatever.
Personalities of the introduced characters is well enough. When reading through I did note that the conversation felt a bit stilted but otherwise fine. Grammar is a 'no comment,'
4.5/5
IanFlatRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
I like that Sedhoust invented a use for lightning magic outside of combat. That's a nice bit of world- and character-building.
I'm not sure if this is worth describing (and clearly he's pondering the question he just asked): “Where should I go for dinner tonight...?” Sedhoust spoke to himself in a low voice, pondering over the matter he had just spoken about. In the end, he made a decision within a short time.
Instead of something that builds the world a little more, like, "Sedhoust wandered the city streets in the warm glow of sunset, enjoying the rattle of wagons and the shouts of children playing stickball. Crossing the Flumpkin Quarter, he made his way to the public eatery at which he was a regular …"
Nice to have him chatting with the chef, which brings 'Lord Grasmord' down to earth. I'll pass this along fwiw: A friend once told me I shouldn't make my characters laugh, and should instead focus on making my _readers_ laugh. She thought the former made the latter more difficult.
The chat about spears and death nicely reveals that there are, in fact, life and death stakes in the story, and people mourn for fallen compatriots.
Falling star! Calamity! Something bad's gonna happen … and that's good.
'Kurt' and 'Keith' are v. similar names, so much so that it takes me a second to distinguish between them.
RV. Hah.
Ooh, I like the twist that it's a crashed aircraft. I was already enjoying the sort of techno-magic stuff, with lightning spells powering electrical generators, but this takes it to a new level.
Jess D. AstraRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I've had a good time with the story so far. Things I've loved:
The creativity around the language barrier. I've never seen that done before and thought it was extremely clever.
The almost slap-stick delivery of some of these lines. When the MC was dreaming of other worlds and then, suddenly, someone from another world shows up! Or how the characters just assume the natives can "use lightning magic like in fantasy stories." It's very manga like (similarly some of the character tropes are very manga-y with a veneer of Star Trek)
I like that the world has so much history already, and it seems like a chaotic mixture is taking place. Excited to see how that unfolds.
Most of the character interactions feel genuine.
Things I'm not super hot for:
While the writing is perfectly acceptable (and the grammar is good), it is not my style. It's a bit verbose, it lacks exploration of the five senses, and it suffers from a pretty bad case of passive voice.
The chapters are so long. 1700-3200 is a great range to target to help the reader out.
Characters jump to weird "omniscient" conclusions that only the author should know.
I was a little miffed at some of the sci-fi aspects before checking the tag again (soft scifi). Just a few immersion breaking things even for soft sci-fi like:
A single planet in a star system is going to get riggity-rekt. Being the only other body in the system with a gravitational pull (aside from the star) means that any thing wandering through the system has a high likelihood of slapping the heck out of this one planet. The likelihood of a single planet system coming into existence AND being the goldilocks zone planet is nigh impossible. Unless somehow explained by the fantasy part of the story, I throw a red flag at this for illegal sci-fi moves.
The crew leaving the ship when they crash. It's a potentially hostile env. out there, unknown pathogens/pollens in the air, predators of all kinds, random tornado could whip through, etc, while the ship (holey or n
AlexZinaRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Lots of good things about this story! Here are some suggestions and thoughts:
First off, I think the blurb of the story could be expanded to help pique the readers' interest and also to set the right expectations, as the current one is a bit short and vague in my opinion so you may accidentally get readers not interested in the concept, and miss those who would like it.
About the concept/premise - while not groundbreaking or super original, it is interesting and leaves the story with lots of possibilities, both with where it will go, and with previous lore and the battle with the Calamity.
In the first prologue, I believe there are some redundant portions that could be cut, for example "As he had mentioned before, Sedhoust spoke about his discovery" and overall there is a significant amount of exposition without actually showing us much about the world at hand.
Afterwards, the story jumps into mystery and action, which is great to hook readers.
Grammar:
Full-score, I didn't find any significant issues to report.
Style: like another reviewer said, it gave me light novel vibes, but I felt it was fine, given the genre.
Overall, a very solid start and I recommend readers to give this story a shot.
LambentTytoRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I really like the way this story is written. The style is very much like a light novel, where characters speak, and then you find out who was speaking and what they sounded like etc, etc, in the next paragraph. While I don’t think it’s the most efficient way to go about writing fiction, it gives this story a light novel feel, and I can appreciate that.
Sedhoust is kind of cool and intelligent, and his relationship with Keith feels alive. I dialogue between them is very natural, though the other characters speak far less frequently in terms of out-of-plot contexts, but this is an early review, so no mark against the story on this point. Not yet at least.
The draw at the beginning is interesting, and I want to find out what happens. I don’t want to give any spoilers by summing up the chapter’s I’ve read but, something very interesting happens at the end of the prologue. I thought Sedhoust would be more surprised, but maybe that’s his character development?
In any event, they get called to this site where there’s’ a disturbance which really kept me drawn in. Later down the line they meet some interesting newcomers, and the stories progresses from there. I don’t want to spoil.
My only beef so far is that I feel like I want more viewpoint from the characters. I don’t know what Sedhoust is thinking or feeling, and I really want to know, because I don’t know how to react to what’s happening in the story.
Now, at first glance, you might think, “Wait, why TWO PROLOGUES?” You’ll get it, trust me. Just think, Fate/Stay Night; Unlimited Blade works. I love this dual prologue settup.
Slifer274Royal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I found this story a little harder to follow because of the style. Was waffling between a 4 and a 4.5. I think I'll keep it at a 4 for now--has potential, but needs work to make things flow smoothly.
Style: 3.5/5 Gripe with dialogue: you currently write dialogue like the following:
“I am happy.”
He said.
Where it would flow smoother as: “I am happy,” he said. You have some issues with passive voice—this can be fixed by being more descriptive in points, stretching out condensed information about your setting to make it more immersive.
Also, quite a bit of repetitive/overexplanatory description—for instance, you make it very clear through the use of upside town text that the other person’s words are weird, but then you say after that “one of the three people spoke undecipherable words.”
Quite a bit of telling over showing, which is an issue that many of us (including me) suffer from.
It is, however, serviceable and generally smooth after the first couple of chapters.
Story: 4/5 Starts off a little slow, a little info dumpy. I think you bring the action even closer to the very start of the story, especially with your prologues. I don’t think both prologues are necessary, or at least they don’t need to be prologues, since you have a pretty solid--if a little slow--story that doesn’t need them to function.
Grammar: 4.5/5 Some odd capitalization choices, but the grammar is generally fine.
Character: 4.5/5 I don’t think I’m building that strong of a connection with the characters, but that may be because the style/story, which I don’t vibe with the most. The characters are pretty distinct, though, with unique voices and characterizations, and I think they’re on the stronger end of this story.
Lord SputnikRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
I had an easy time diving into this one. It scratches my itch for sci-fi and my itch for fantasy! Why 3/5? It became a bit of a chore after the prelude... and my sci-fi nerd found some of the science impossible, even if it is soft sci-fi.
The Good: Love the setting! It is a refreshing mashup that doesn't happen often enough. The characters are believable and interesting and the creativity with some of the magic (like the arrows) was great. I feel like a great story is brewing here.
The Bad: Passive voice is a bit overused. The plot, while not rushed, doesn't have a clear demarcation of events within the same chapters. I'm not good at that by any means so I can't judge that fairly. Lastly, the long lists of narration and very long chapters make this a chore to get through.
My biggest complaint is that we get very few descriptions of where things are or what they are. For example:
1. "she was fully dressed in her signature coat" What is her signature coat? How is it different?
2. Sedhoust went from zapping a generator to getting a drink at a bar and then flying to the guild, but we didn't get any exposure to what was around him aside from him shattering some glass.
3. 150 m long and 30 m wide is the entire description we got of the spaceship...
Even if it is soft sci-fi, the sci-fi and technology felt shoe-horned in. I feel like it was included just for the sake of including it. For example:
1. I had to ignore that 150m x 30m spaceship entirely since it isn't exactly plausible by itself that it can do extended exploration missions with a crew of 50. How did they explore, just the probe? Aside from the six escape ships, was the hangar empty? How were the ships damaged and not the hangar? How was this small ship able to hold 6 escape ships in a hangar anyways? They had to be fairly large and reusable since Elana told Renne to pick her up later. If it did land, where did it fit the thrust to launch itself and reach escape velocity? I admit, tho