Zjjan Master
Community Rating
Description
Teaser: I've retired for my freedom and to find peace. I was born a knight with no inheritance. What could they expect from me? —Jaino. I've tried to purge the catalyst. Is my strength not enough? —Jesifer.
Blurb: Including his guild master, many lives had lost to end a calamity. Jaino feels guilty. Still, the first prince of Jelfyr assigned him as a higher official. This has made him hiding to avoid conflicts.
Wanting to find peace, he accidentally meets Criselia, forcing him to accept an agreement. Consuming many lives, her demonstration has left him no choice.
Meanwhile, Jesifer, the queen of Jelfyr, she receives an urgent report from the JSA.
Attempting to end the battle in the wide plain while avoiding casualty, she instead meets Dandia’s ruler, seeking for the strongest.
The outside world now slowly unfolds.
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BTW, since the review title wasn't edited. I have to say, my work is not a poem compilation. I'm writing fiction. But I'm not a writer, I'm just a reader. :) P.s
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Story Progress:
1. Blurb is fulfilled on Chapter Three and Chapter Four2. Story Arc One, The Savior is fulfilled on Story Arc Five3. Yes, there is fighting scenes. Three Calamities have been Eliminated in Dandia -- The wide island.4. The prologue is nearing to begin.5. Too many conflicts.-------------------------------------------------
Past tense - When I just narrate a past without much actual actions. I mean like a news, or just telling or reporting the past.
Present tense - Current event. And flashback with actions.
I love flash fiction so world building is not on this story, like narrating a room, narrating a character's traits, etc. As possible, I want them to think, have their decision, etc. etc. etc. etc.
Hallo guys, Help me locate my typos on Story Arc 5. I still don't want to edit Story Arc 1-4. I can't wait to reach story arc Chapter Six(I won't spoil). My outlines and very huge flowcharts are waiting. Sorry, about that, I can understand English without format so, each time I'm looking for typos I was hooked in my story and I didn't realize I forgot about them.
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2019
- Author
- Hearm Jan
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 3.5/ 5.0
- Followers
- 10
- Views
- 43,976
Chapters(115 total)
- sp05 03 02, Altrass vs Vilyarin, Cally meets EladinOct 11, 2019
- sp05 03 01, The Withered PromiseOct 4, 2019
- sp05 02 16, Her innocence but the Blood RainsAug 8, 2019
- sp200 05 Third of January 2018May 28, 2019
- sp200 04 In an ongoing Christmas Party 2017May 27, 2019
- sp05 02 15, A Meeting for the Hidden ShipAug 1, 2019
- sp05 02 14, zExtraJul 25, 2019
- sp05 02 14, The Fifth and the Hidden CityJul 25, 2019
- sp05 02 13, What Restrains, She WhispersJun 8, 2019
- sp05 02 12, The Search and No FindingsMay 30, 2019
- sp05 02 11, The First Prince Takes OverMay 16, 2019
- sp05 02 10, Opposing the faith, The saviorsMay 12, 2019
- sp05 02 09, Her Knight and His Queen, They not RealizeMay 7, 2019
- sp05 02 08, Breaking thro' InvincibilityMay 2, 2019
- sp05 02 07, The Clash Echoes From the PastApr 28, 2019
- sp05 02 06, The Revival of a DragonApr 28, 2019
- sp05 02 05, The Guilty, the Lost Piece, and the SeekerApr 28, 2019
- sp05 02 04, Lovely-and-Frightening WomenApr 28, 2019
- sp05 02 03, Raume Meets EladinApr 28, 2019
- sp05 02 02, Surfacing From The DepthApr 28, 2019
Reviews
No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!
Community Reviews(1)
- CaladbolgRoyal Road★★ 2.0Brief explanation from me
I have a feeling that there are multiple reasons as to why no one reviewed this work yet. First, it's obviosuly poetry-oriented, what makes whatever review people make by this site's standards... feel wrong. Theoritically, all the problems I'm about to describe in this review can be written off as 'poetic freedom' of the author, given the style of this work. However, since this is a site that's mainly for novels/books, I will review it as such while still trying to be as neutral as possible. So, keep in mind that my scoring wouldn't be the same had I conceded and simply judged your work as a work of poetry.
Either way, let's get into it, shall we?
Personal Enjoyment Score - 0/10
As far as my tastes and what I expect from a book/novel/text which I read, this work couldn't be further away. By no means is this novel (?), this piece of prose, bad in the sense of the word 'bad', but it's not for me. Similarly I believe that the very majoirty of people on RoyalRoad will find this work to be not for them.
Now for the more objective part of the review~
Story Description
What can I say, it's confusing and all over the place. The author tries to tell the potential reader too many things at once and explains too much at once. This, in my humble opinion, will lead most people to click away since the prospect of reading something that fully seems to be confusing in its execution will be mentally draining.
I'd suggest deleting all of this and writing a simple explanation of what this story is about within at most 2 short parahraphs. As for the grammar gimmicks, if readers can't figure them out on their own while reading, then there's something fundamentally wrong with your usage of tenses, to begin with.
Style
Please swap what's in spoiler tags. Every time I go to next chapter my eyes are assaulted by the white-pinkish background of those pages. You've even indicated that the text part is the 'RRl version', so why isn't this one the first thing we're see