Zane Black (A LITRPG progression fantasy)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Update #3 20th August 2022 - 2 :

Most of the chapters were re-edited. I've fixed even more stuff since their first release.

This is the first fiction I've ever written. While that doesn't excuse the problems that this story has, I hope that you can be patient with them.

Growing up, death had always surrounded Zane's family. From his parent's sudden demise to his sister's life-threatening ailment, Zane cursed the fact that he was the only one who was spared from Death's clutches.

Being the odd one out, he was given the responsibility of taking care of his dying sister, Jeanne. But despite how hard he had tried to save her, Death was ever so slightly ahead of him.

Yet, the system had other plans for Zane Black. Right after he had lost everything that had mattered in his life, it had chosen the earth as the next planet to be integrated into its ever-growing empire of empowered beings.

Transported into a new world, filled to the brim with deadly creatures and powerful beings. Will Zane survive the dangers that awaited him?

And even if he lived, what will happen to the old earth that he was destined to return to?

Release schedule :

At least one chapter will be releasedevery day at 6 : 00 CET

Information

Status: Cancelled
Year: 2022
Author: LyonBemuny

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.4/ 5.0
Followers: 1,153
Views: 288,039

Chapters(50 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

Rando99Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Zane Black is one the stories I expect to really take off and gather a lot of followers. It has strong vibes of Primal Hunter and Randidly Ghosthound but distinct enough to enjoy it.
If you're a fan of this style of fiction jump in: you will not be disappointed.
Let's see where the journey will lead Zane and LyonBemuny, but at the moment all smells like a great story told and success for the author.
BosparanRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
A solid fighting story with a traditional system apocalypse setting.
Following the tradition of "Better steal well then invent poorly", the overall setup is not exactly unrecognizable to a voracious reader that has spent way too much time on RR, but ... it does the basics very, very well:
The Action flows, the character is doing well enough, the power progression is fair, the system fits to the style and avoids most of the traps seen in other series. Not too much social interaction, but that's nto exactly expected in this sub-genre and - finally - we have a series where not actually all humans turn either into helpless sheep or homicidal megalomaniacs.
So ... if you feel like enjoying a fighting series, with not too many distractions from the action and not too much interpersonal drama, this is probably for you.
Darius1834Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I start this off with the pre-face: new author learning how to write, give them LOTS of rope so they figure it all out and go from there. The writing is good but rough, but the author is getting lots of help with editing it by others who are reading alongside you, so don't be afraid to help them as well.
I am enjoying this story and really look forward to each update because it's the start of something that CAN be great. The author has an idea, they're building on it and then continuing to learn as they go along. The later chapters show that growth from where they started and this is a positive sign of things to come.
Frankcastle747Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
So far so great, this story is delivering a nicely paced and growing world. There are some editing errors but nothing that absolutely kills it for me. The system is being explained at a reasonable pace and the worldbuilding is keeping pace with the MC.
MC is the kind I prefer, not tied up with morality in the sense he questions every choice. He makes decisions and they begin to make sense as the character develops. I hope he continues on his solo path of awesomeness.
Thank you author and keep on writing!
SelachiRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Thanks for the story so far! Although the MC achieves some insane status-changes, he really struggles and is not just owerpowered. I really like that as well as those lone wolf MC's. All these struggles with the whining of other people in catastrophic situations is a pain better avoided. The author acclimated his style within the first few chapters and the writing-quality really improves.
It's a shame that the author Lyon stopped writing temporarily because some people just love criticism. This is no platform for professional writers but people who'd like to share a cool story. But really you won't even tell us about the loot? What a bummer 😳 way to end a story 😆
Aunt Edit: The story goes on- yeah! Thanks Lyon! Welcome back, hope you will have more fun writing in the future!
malinizgeldiRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
Our mc chooses physical buffs to stay alive as he doesn't know any spells quite logically. and uses a spear. he is offered an "epic skill" related to shadows and a rare ability of "sense boost" and he chooses sensate power that makes sense to survive. This is totally reasonable. But when it's time to take a class, suddenly a monkey steals his logic and he dont chooses the spear class (the most powerful one for survival). He chooses a dark class instead of choosing a logical .
MosephRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
Overall: Engaging, combat focused story written in a distinct stylistic tone that is unique to the author. It's a shame, as of writing (CH. 47) the author has communicated their desire to stop writing due to negative criticism leading to no longer enjoying writing. While the writing isn't perfect the story being told is actually an entertaining read that I believe might have become one of the better stories on this site had it continued for the author to develop the story / characters and improve their writing some bad reviews seem to have shaken the confidence of the author and ruined a good thing.
Style: The author has their own style which has a slightly darker / edgy tone, while I normally shy away from overly edgy writing I would say the author has in this case managed to set a consistent and suitable style and due to the MC not really having much dialogue with most of the story being action scenes or introspective reflection by the character. The language used hinges on formal and I suspect the author might be a not native english speaker which frankly makes writing a story of this length with such consistent style commendable. The fight scenes of the story are engaging and well written in my opinion.
Story: While borrowing a few tropes originally from the portal fantasy genre I would argue the author has written an original backstory for the MC. The system is not nonsensical and the author chooses to write it in as a mystery factor as to how it works, this choice builds suspence and excites the reader as to what development will come with characters levelling up and unlocking new abilities / classes. Personally I was gripped by the story and was looking forward to a foreshadowed rivalry the MC was to have in addition to what the end of the tutorial had in store. The story's pacing while not perfect is solid and did not detract from the reading experience for me. The only thing I wasn't super huge on was the slightly cookie cutter classes and archetypal combat
TheLastStitchRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
I feel just a little tricked by the other reviews on this. There are really just two problems I have with this story, but they are pretty big.
First the word choice is that overly formal and robotic type that either non native English speakers or people who really don't read themselves do. Which honestly isn't the worst if the ideas themselves are engaging. Which as far as I could tell they weren't here. Now admittedly I didn't give this story too long to grab me, like I normally would, but that brings me to my second problem.
Let me preface this by telling you I am very much NOT a grammar police. This is honestly the first time I've ever had this strong a reaction to something like this but the constantly shifting tenses of this story go beyond distracting all the way to maddening. It is honestly egregious. It's like every fourth sentence is messing up a tense. I tried looking past it, until I noticed the authors note saying they have already fixed this issue and it was still this bad.
Look I don't want to put down this writers work, I'm sure I might be overreacting and you could definately find a great story here, but I have to warn any new readers when none of the other reviews even mention the issues, and laud this story like it's the second coming.
Update: as of my posting this review the writer reached out to me on any feedback I could give to improve the reading experience. In a remarkably mature move, they have taken the effort to fix some of the earlier chapters. So my review needs updating.
jjkyxrRoyal Road
★★★ 3.0
I have a hard time recommending this compared to a few stories on Royal Road that this was definitely inspired by.
A few good things are going for the story like the fact that our MC doesn't have any cheat at all besides some weird alignment to an element (which hopefully isn't a cheat later on) and how he methodically puts effort to get those lucky breaks, which don't fall into his lap (besides guidance from the system that seems to be helping everyone).
But there are things that irk me that make we worried about the future of the story.
One example is the simplicity of the story's messaging. There is some weird fixation on fighting and holding your end of the deal with strength. It's unreasonable for any story to value fighting strength above all even when there's immense value for soft skills like crafting and building, which is weirdly looked down upon by all the rational characters in the story (so far, ch35).
It's one thing to have the setting make non-fighting professions be unvalued, it's another when you have your main characters also look down upon these skills.
If you ran out of standard litrpg stories to read, this makes an okay filter, but I wouldn't recommend this story as a priority as of right now.
Capitao CavernaRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
Well the story is just your everyday system apocalipse with people being transported to a tutorial, I have read a lot of those and I'll probably read a lot more, hell I've even tried my hand at writing it a couple of times without much success but this one just didn't grab me
The MC is kind of bland, he just didn't have anything that stood out to me but that by itself isn't a deal breaker if the story is unique, has interesting premises, system or even world building... This one didn't
I guess what really took me out of the story was the MC's actions, he doesn't seem to be that desperate but keep making stupid mistakes, investing his status points in a dumb way, abandoning equipment that should be much better than his own, surviving simply by unexplained luck... I get that the MC's actions could be completely justified on the author's mind but, if it is, he didn't do a very good job of showing it to his readers.
Plus there's the jumping elite bear, in a scene there's an elite bear monster and, instead of charging at his prey or doing another epic entrance it jumps impossibly high and drops close to some people... Why, why would a bear jump like that, the way it was described it wasn't even a pounce, the bear literally jumped but into the sky to fall closer to his prey like some kind of frog... I know it shouldn't bother me so much but it completely broke my already poor immersion.
In my mind the MC became an incompetent murderhobo who can't even get the lotting part right and I lost all interest, even the fighting scenes didn't sit well with me so I'm jumping out here at chapter 16
Well... Jumping bear aside the story could really do with some better justification for the MC's actions and choices, something that makes me believe he made the right choice or that his mistake was justified like, he didn't have the time to think about it or he felt he NEEDED to be stronger now to survive instead of investing in long term gains