Yami Desolate- The destroyer (a reincarnation story)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

In the midst of a school assembly, a summoning circle appeared out of now where and everyone within the school hall was transported to another world, one of fantasy and magic.Having been called by the goddess to help against her fight against the forces of evil she gives them each a blessing and sends them to the kingdom of light and sanctuary The holy union."""Welcome heroes from another world, We need your help against the forces of darkness, but first lets check your status"""" boomed the king. Although the students and teachers was in confusion, about the current situation they complied and one by one checked their status. Noticing each has their own class along with a blessing, the kingdom welcomed them with open arms as a special unit called the sacred heroes to fight against the forces of darkness.However during the summoning ceremony caused by the forces of light, a similar ceremony was happening caused by the forces of darkness that called upon the recently dead soul of Yami whom recently died from the cruelty of the world .1 hour before the school assembly started. Yami was on the roof, the only place where he can feel at peace however as he was walking near the edge, he was pushed off by another student, as he was falling he started to curse the world and the cruelty of humanity but what he cursed the most was his own lack of power, the moment he landed on the pavement bleeding heavily, it was clear he was dying, however before his death his last words was """" Im sorry, hikari i cant protect you anymore goodbye my light, """".Yami thought this was the end of everything the oblivion only for him to wake up in darkness, and a voice calling out to him Would you like another chance?, Knowing there was probably a catch he accepted anyway refusing to let his regrets go. Yami awoke only to find himself reincarnated within an egg. Yami was reincarnated into a half dragon and half demon this is the story of desolate the destroyer.author noteslazy author that only releases non edited or barely any edited chapters. UN EDITED, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. There is no point on critiquing a unpolished work it is just like saying that is a rock..... there is only point in polished work such as this gem hasn't had the best of care and wasn't cut properly. !

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2015
Author: antlad52

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 2.2/ 5.0
Followers: 104
Views: 47,502

Chapters(16 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(5)

kris909Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
i haven't read the story yet and i'm already having fun well in my defense the story just stated like 5 chaps with you guys so ................................. no comment have fun
TheShadowfinkRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Although there is not a whole lot of chapters, I do like the concept of this, I can't really comment too much on the series yet, as not much has happened, I do like forward to his growth, and although your synopsis tells us what happens with the Champions of the other God, You haven't actually said anything at all in the chapters yet, which I think you should probably comment on.
But to others reading this review, It is a good read, although not many chapters, I feel it'll definitely be a great book, I do recommend it.
wohlzyRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
just reading the review i had the time of my life, hella fun !
I'm giving my vote to the brother for he is the author and know (i hope) what he will do with the story regarding the characters, world, plot and such.
And also because it is Waaaaayyyyyy too soon to give a bad review to a story and complain about things like personalities of characters, world building and plot when we only have 5 chapters. If everything was said in the first chapter then where would be the fun ?! I see the bad review of the sister with much more personnal than objective reason.
*Start reading the story*
CruxioRoyal Road
★ 1.0
lackluster story, poor narration and obviously lacks inspiration.
mrfishy6Royal Road
★ 1.0
1. Yes, I read the description but your first draft defense isn’t a proper reason for poor grammar and sentence structure. Your story was difficult to read due to unsuitable word choices and sentences which do not flow well.
eg. “Yami was on the roof, the only place where he can feel at peace however as he was walking near the edge, he was pushed off by another student, as he was falling he started to curse the world and the cruelty of humanity but what he cursed the most was his own lack of power, the moment he landed on the pavement bleeding heavily, it was clear he was dying, however before his death his last words was ” Im sorry, hikari i cant protect you anymore goodbye my light, “
– where are your full stops?
-> i’m merely stating your grammar and sentence structure was bad so you can improve on it, you don’t have to get all defensive.
2. Lackluster plot: Check out the example I provided above. Your main character was on the roof and pushed offthe edge by some random student. Why? People don’t just go pushing others of roof tops for no reason. You have to provide some motivation for this action or it doesn’t make sense and it just seems likearandom plot device to move the story along in the most poorest manner.
3. Flat characters: Also using the example above. He gets randomly pushed off some rooftop and hates the world, humanity but mostly his lack of power. Really? That is all the description he gets before he gets reincarnated,showing not a single hint of personality whatsoever.
4. World building: You tried build your world through descriptive language but it was a hackneyed job. Like I said,your language is poor, so when you try to go all fancy and use complex descriptive words it makes your story a trek to read.
IMPORTANT NOTE: I merely stated my opinion on your story and you make a huge as rant to attack me personally,saying that I don’t know what i’m talking about and calling me egotistic. You need to lighten up and learn how to receive negative feed b