World Builder: Iron Warmachine

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

A man from a parallel 21st Century got himself reincarnated to another world through a contact of poison and became a woman of unknown origins.

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Cover:The image used as the book cover is not mine, nor is it a picture I have commissioned to be used by me. I found it within the google images through searching 'Royalty-free images'. Should the original artist requested to take the image down, I shall do so without hesitation. As such the image a place holder only.I have commissioned for a cover image so there will be no need for the current cover art to retain after I receive it. Thank you for understanding.

In regards to Grammar, my first language is not English and I am just your typical edgy 8th-year kid, so pardon me if some lines are inconvenient to read. Roughly this novel is all about me being ambitious about my skills and wanted to create my own story.

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2019
Author
Hetelika

Tags

LITRPGFANTASYADVENTUREMAGICFEMALE LEADDRAMASCI-FISLICE OF LIFESTRONG LEADGENDER BENDERMALE LEADMULTIPLE LEAD CHARACTERSKINGDOM BUILDINGREINCARNATIONWAR AND MILITARYHIGH FANTASYMYTHOSSTRATEGYDUNGEON CRAWLER

Royal Road Stats

Rating
4.0/ 5.0
Followers
33
Views
1,145

Chapters(1 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

  • Consumer of Forbidden TextsRoyal Road
    ★★ 2.0
    This review was made as of chapter 2
    Style:
    The writer only has a vague sense of style, and the quality is not too good. The way this is written makes it hard to read and quite boring. There is a lot of space for improvement.
    One way you can get better at writing, is to read a lot of high quality and/or unique pieces of writing.
    Story:
    While you can tell that the writer put some thought into the plot, it is minimal and world building is practically impossible to find within its pages.
    I suggest you sit down for a while, and think purely about the world around the main character, and why she is in the situation you want her to be in.
    What wars are going on in the background? In more detail, why on earth would you kill those with no fire attribute? Are there rebellions and people being smuggled in and out of the area?
    What would happen if someone really important was found to not have the fire attribute? Do you gain attributes genetically, or are they random? If they are random, how many people are killed a year? If they are genetic, why did our main character not have the fire attribute when both parents had the fire affinity? Ask these questions and more, to fully flesh out the story.
    Grammar:
    The grammar is extremely poor, and I find myself mentally correcting a lot of it. As I said previously, please read other books to get a firm grasp on the way it should be written.
    Character:
    The information dump on the first chapter was not fun to read, and I found myself skiming through a lot of it. Try to cut out some of that information, and spread it out through futute chapters. As well as this, the ways you describe the main character are extremely hard to read, but from what I can peice together,  she has an alluring hour-glass figure, with blue eyes and platinum blonde hair. I have written a short parograph from someone else's perspective.
    "I felt my chest burn with longing, as I looked at her alluring form. Every man loved her dearly, every woman envied her completely