Winds (Part I)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

If you are a fan of C.S. Lewis, John Bunyan, or Orson Scott Card, you may enjoy this.

The year is 1901 in a culturally east/southern American location: After her failure of a debut, a young heiress, Lilian Truit, is pushed out of her comfort and privilege to find her place in the world. She is called by the deity, El, to be part of something greater than she can comprehend but the Mallelum (evil winds) are after her. Either to use her for the gift she was given as a child by the Elson himself, or to discourage her from healing the past pains of her family. Lilian will discover the secrets of the unseen realm, learn independence, and contribute to the salvation of a world, or at least her long-lost sister.

Official completed story is available for purchaseon Amazon.

Information

Status
Ongoing
Year
2022
Author
Onjel Bercier

Tags

FANTASYFEMALE LEADDRAMAHISTORICALSUPERNATURALSLICE OF LIFEROMANCE SUBPLOT

Royal Road Stats

Rating
4.3/ 5.0
Followers
3
Views
4,066

Chapters(11 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(1)

  • TheGeeko42Royal Road
    ★★★★ 3.5
    Mostly good structure and Ok narration.
    Let me start by saying that Fantasy stories set in our world shaped by magic instead of math and physics it's very charming if done right. You seem to have a solid fundation as your story doesn't really feel amateurish, it lacks some elements but it doesn't distract you from the story.
    Your handling of early XX century speech is fairly decent, with passable dialogue that has room for improvement although there are... Some instances that tell me you're not an english native speaker, am I correct? Well, anyway, all you need is some deep pre-reading.
    Although you stablished your character at least on a surface level, I think it's clear you have a character arc for her, and the better you build that arc, the more memorable your story will become. Because reader may forget a story, but they will never forget about a good character.
    My advice? The same I give to every new writer I find: Check JERRY JENKINS channel at Youtube, follow his advices. The man REALLY knows his stuff.
    Keep on reading books of your favorite genres! I did it and I've been improving rather quickly!