Warden of Success - A LitRPG

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

In the future of Earth humans are no longer the dominant species. Monsters, vampires, elves and all manners of otherworldly threats now threaten the planet and its people. And for one such as Camille, there was nothing she could do. A failed martial artist, Camille swallowed her pride and dreams, all the while sinking into the world of video games. Until she died.

Reawakening with newfound power in her very own bed, there's no doubting that she's an oddity. And as the only individual in the world with the body of a video game character, she's ecstatic. No longer will she just be content with playing games in her dark room, taking over fantasy worlds as a great heroine. Rather, she'll do something better. And that'll be to take over the real one instead.

Whether it be mages, demons or other supernatural entities that stand in her way, it doesn't matter.

Camille may be a level one at first, but dammit if she wasn't going to try to reach one hundred.

This is not a crunchy LitRPG and gradually becomes more of a character driven story that just happens to have a main character with LitRPG abilities. There will be a variety of powers/abilities that are explored later in the setting involving magic systems and other technological advancements. The first 10 chapters were written with satirical undertones, but begin to develop more into its own entity after that.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2021
Author: Armorien

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.7/ 5.0
Followers: 188
Views: 55,799

Reviews

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Community Reviews(3)

prodigyabRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
It's a page turner for sure, love the action, love the violence.
I particularly like the style and grammar. Top notch, man can write, what can I say?
It's tropey but I like how it implements the tropes.
But the main thing is the grammar, it's fantastic and that's why I give it a 5 star, good production value.
luda305Royal Road
★★★★ 4.0
So, sometime in the future, a wee bit of magic's come back into the world, including supernatural creatures. But scientific technology progresses on including, most importantly, full dive VR games. And what's every 12-year-old gamer's #1 desire: To have their game powers in real life. With a Status screen, naturally. And she's a bit of a psychopath, for better or for worse.
It's played very straight. And the story is very linear, hitting almost every trope in the exact order. So much so that it kind of feels like a satire, especially given that the writing style itself has an amateurish taste.
I suppose if you like Solo Leveling or similar stories, you might enjoy this.
RaccoonMageRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
*Disclaimer* I am an educator with a creative writing degree, so I appologize in advance. I'll try and be as helpful as I can to strengthen your work.
What I liked: Good use of blue boxes. Having her die by staying plugged in and ignoring her vitals... and then waking up to a new video game-esque body where she gets to ignore those same vitals. Her curiosity and personal exploration of newfound possibilites (altho it does drag due to not much else happening meanwhile).
So, this thang is trope-laden, overly wordy, and kinda trite. My only path forward is to assume it's trying to be over the top on purpose. That you're aiming for a story that doesn't take itself too seriously. I do see that you added a caveat to address this in your synopsis above, but the beginning is where you lose or retain people. Gotta make it great. Things still feel early drafty.
Grammar/style: I would suggest removing as many filler words as you can. It reads as loose n sticky due to redundancy and words that aren't pulling their weight. Things like 'very,' 'indeed,' and boatloads of transition words. They're good words, but lose their power if you flood the piece with them.
The voice reads probably how you want it to; to suit a power hungry, angst dialed up to 11 anime protagonist. Great for some readers.
Story: Things read a bit like slice-of-life, which I see you have as one of your tags, so that's good. However, there's a LOT of attention paid to the mundane. You can totally do that, but for me, it needs to have substance and meaning if you do. The ordinary can be fascinating, but it won't feel that way on the page if rushed. I felt like Camille just saying things and having that thing magically become a skill was contrived. For a character who wants more than anything to dominate her enemies and prove herself, she sure doesn't have to do much work to earn her abilities. I'm on Ch7 and feel like the plot is only crawling along. It needs more momentum and complexity. Less words, more intrig