War of The Disciples

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

In a world of races with the gift of controlling the elements, a war rages between the races of light, the luxcians, and the dark, the tenebrage.

In the midst of this a young tenebrage recruit, Umbren, is eager to fight for his people, but after a small mistake leads to his whole unit being wiped out, his world gets pulled into chaos.

Umbren is enlisted, by Lord Mortis, as part of a group to hunt down the men who butchered his unit, but he still struggles with guilt over what happened. Now Umbren must find the reason why he fights, be it revenge or for his own glory.

Though this journey is not what it initially seems as he can't appear to ever escape his own misfortune when he is taken in by a luxcian household when he becomes injured.

Follow Umbren's struggle as he uncovers the truths within himself and the world he thought he once knew.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2022
Author: Fantastical_Myth

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.6/ 5.0
Followers: 26
Views: 23,681

Chapters(71 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(1)

JujubeanzRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
SUMMARY:
Solid read, good pacing, immersive, distinguishable characters. Would Recommend giving a try I would honestly Rate 4.5 but I want this to get the attention it deserves so 5.
Whats Strong/prevalent:
A lot of mystery and plotting for a war novel. Draws you into a world.
Exposition isn't force fed and is slowly broken down to the reader because the Protag is ignorant to commonplace things due to his upbringing and age.
Characters seem to have their own motivations and goals. They align with some others within their warband but others do not creating realistic tension. We see this tension manifest in different ways at different times.
Whats Weak/could be improved:
Some alternate POV chapters were superfluous. I skimmed a lot of the military units POVs because basically if you know the orders and military strategy you only need to see it when put into action against the enemy. The rest just kinda is there I guess.
Some Hands haven't really been flushed out yet but I'm sure you'll get to it, like you have some other ones.
The Romance is kinda wierd between a sheltered 42 year old and a 15 year old war conscript. It was too conveniently introduced and reads as somewhat forced imo. A suggestion I would encourage you to do is write out the self-conscious flaws and shortcomings of the character and have them complement their partner's strengths. Then the pursuit of spending time together aligns more with both characters interests when it is established to the reader they both see something intangible in the other that they want to have. All those intangibles seem to come into play only after they are unofficially married, which is why I think of it being poorly implemented. But then again I've never really been a fan of or have had much experience in romance in general so take it as you will.