WANTED
Community Rating
Description
Note: Written in April of 2020 for Camp NaNoWriMo and doesn't reflect how I currently write.
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One fateful day, a mysterious blast destroys the majority of a peaceful forest. Chaos, ruin, destruction... survivors flee to find new homes. Among them are two squirrel siblings, a brother and sister named Ronald and Cecilia. No parents, orphanage burned down, they don't know where to go or where to turn.
Just run. Take shelter when needed.
The small, vulnerable rodents become trapped in wet mud on a dark, rainy night. Cold, hungry, wet...worse yet...a wolf finds them.
The brother attempts to guard his little sister from the large lupine beast, except...the wolf has no intent on eating them. His name is Marcus, and like the squirrels, just fled from the raging fire. He pulls the struggling children out from the mud and offers to take them along on his journey to Paradise Valley, where he intends to find his new home. The squirrels trust him; Ronald being the reluctant of the two. They travel and their bond strengthens into that of a small family. Things seem to be going well; the three have nothing but high hopes for the future...
Until Ronald sees the WANTED poster.
Marcus' face, contorted into a wicked snarl, is plastered onto it.
Is the wolf trustworthy...or is he hiding a dark, terrible secret? Will Ronald give him the benefit of the doubt; maybe there's a mistake...or is this mysterious wolf really a villain?
Information
- Status
- Completed
- Year
- 2024
- Author
- The Musical Marten
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.3/ 5.0
- Followers
- 3
- Views
- 2,911
Chapters(10 total)
Reviews
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Community Reviews(1)
- DanielWattsRoyal Road★★★★ 3.5This one is what started it all. The saga of squirrel and wolf. And the start of what I see as your writer journey.
They style was pretty rough here. Lots of unnecessary helper words, stilted dialogue, and all the stuff that you don't do anymore. That you've shed so much of it has showed you've grown markedly as a writer. This is what it is and there's nothing wrong with that.
The story was lovely. Wrongfully accused wolf and victims of tragic circumstances. They found and aupport each other. The revelation is handled gradually, but trust built a little too quickly. And the length of time between the escape and Phil's capture was a little long so a lot of the tension dissipated in the interim.
The characters are the strongest part of the story. Each handled well. Marcus was a little too nice to Phil. But, that is opinion. Everyone does seem a little too trusting and unwilling to take a critical eye to things and there are times when it falls into the trap of miscommunication that could have headed off problems.
And your grammar was just fine. This is far more readable than most early stories. The lack of preposterous amounts of run on sentences helps too.