W40K Return of the Second Born

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

A story to fill in one of the missing Primarchs, specifically number II, and their return to the Imperium.

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2024
Author
J.K. Koop

Tags

ACTIONSCI-FIGRIMDARKGENETICALLY ENGINEERED

Royal Road Stats

Rating
4.2/ 5.0
Followers
46
Views
21,850

Chapters(63 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(2)

  • Lurker65Royal Road
    ★★★★ 3.5
    good:   I found the story interesting enough to keep my attention and the main character is likable
    . The reason given for her powers and existence in story are not bad and sound like some
    Sceme big E or malcodor would come up with. It does not feel like a self insert or Mary sue.
    I like the MC handy caps and her power they fit and are a fun take of a new primarch not
    Just build stuff / hit stuff real good. Keeping the memory block was also good.
    Cons:  I would say the person writing is not a war hammer lore nerd, it’s nothing to extreme but its pretty obvious in places. The story feels like it’s moving to fast not allowing characters time to develop and some parts feel like scene where deleted or skipped over. My guess would be this is a new writer or it might be there first story.
    thought:  I like the bones of the story and feel it has potential. I’m assuming the author is new so I’ll cut them some slack. My main advice would be to watch in-depth lore video covering the things your going to use / cover in the story along with all the primarch, I say this pointing to the titan bit. That or find a warhammer lore head to bounce your ideas off of, otherwise fans are going to nitpick things. I won’t speak about grammar, but a slower pace and focusing more on some side characters could help. Think of stretching the first 62 chapters into 90–100. Otherwise I like the story and will continue reading, also ignore the comments about the MC being female it fine.
  • MeatloafinbedRoyal Road
    ★★ 1.5
    The most basic lore is set in stone. Primarchs can NOT be female. So the entire story is off-canon. The mc would have been killed on chapter two just for that alone.  Also the second primarch was killed by rangda xeno species. The sisters of silence shoot dirst listen later (zealots) and dont use spears usually (bolters and chainswords are the standard)