Reincarnation story with a little bit of twist.

Community Reviews(6)

NeivisRoyal Road

★★★★★ 5.0

'Tis a good read fellows. Feels like the first volume is a one big ass introduction, nonetheles - 'tis a good read.
Keep up the good work man

Worst-answerRoyal Road

★★★★★ 5.0

it is a really good read. a quest to get stronger !!! and hopefully there will be no romance, since there is no tag, I'M HOOKED AUTHOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WANNA MOAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

endoriaRoyal Road

★★★★★ 4.5

4 1/2 stars for the "GODZILLA WITH A MICROWAVE" review. Thanks, now I will start reading.
Edit: Just finished book1 and it is a really good story. I guess the author is a native speaker of a language without articles and he somtimes uses the wrong words. Proof reading and editing would help a lot. But hey, for the first fiction on RR it is quite good.

b51015Royal Road

★★★★ 3.5

Review of the story with a little bit of twist, you know those bags of chocolate and sweets.
And that's just for the Title !!!

CiainaRoyal Road

★★★ 2.5

Dude. Commas. Punctuation in general. Syntax. Does't matter if english is not your mother tongue, those rules apply to most languages, and are taught VERY early in life.
Reading your work feels like trying to breath.
But uderwater.
Could be a good work. Maybe even a modern work of art chock full of ideas. But as it is right now? I couldn't tell.
It is painful to read.

GarrdorRoyal Road

★★★ 2.5

As of chapter seven I like the potential plot. However, your grammar is really bad. I pulled a couple paragraphs that showcase your three most common mistakes, so spoiler kinda but they're like five minutes of reading in.
"Ooh I can feel it refreshing and cool feeling in my head. Very little but perceptible feeling of more clarity. So that’s how I nurture my brain cells. Now that’s out of the way how to store mana in my brain cells. Once again visualization, I suppose."
"Since I got more mana before the first spell ran out of mana let’s try injecting more mana into the Spell Matrix. Injecting more mana makes almost no difference. Expect tiny bit of increase in temperature of the fireball. So that means if get more mana reservoir and inject enough mana into the Spell Matrix I can make this simple fireball spell into something devastatingly powerful right."
Ths three main mistakes I see exemplified in these snippets, mistakes which are constantly repeated (so far I've only read 7 chapters I'll change the review if it gets better), are thus:
using the wrong words or weird wording or sometimes just dropped words that help syntax, probably do to English not being your first language. It's fine, adding articles like "a" and "the" though will improve the story immensely.
repeating the same word or phrase repeatedly, either in the same sentence or in consecutive sentences
No commas. Your words ramble man, you really really need to invest in commas.
If and when the grammar gets fixed, I can see this being a very good story. So good, even though it's tough to read right now I'm gonna struggle through in the hope it becomes readable. One thing besides grammar you should look out for is the characters lack of emotional depth, even though I know that's probably part of one of his traits, it's still off putting to read.
Another sticking point is the cliche "show don't tell" advice, I think the first person perspective might actually make it easier for you to describe both items a

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Chapters(100 total)

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Community Reviews(6)