To the Valley of the Salt Sparrow Heart: More than Just the Prince of Pirates
Self-Published
Community Rating
Description
Famous poet and self-proclaimed adventurer, Orion Auslandin, sets off on a journey to find the mythical Valley of the Salt Sparrow Heart and prove that there is more to him than simply being the son of the Pirate King. Inspired by ancient poetry and a journal entry from a long dead author, Orion hires a crew to aid him in his quest of discovery. Along the way they face down pirates that wish to capture him, strange creatures that inhabit the island, and dangerous waters.
Information
- Status
- Completed
- Year
- 2024
- Author
- The Jester in Red
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.5/ 5.0
- Followers
- 1
- Views
- 1,730
Chapters(4 total)
Reviews
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Community Reviews(3)
- Immortal TIDRoyal Road★★★★★ 5.0As someone who is an avid fantasy reader and loves a good pirate story this one checks all the boxes for me. It was fast paced and made me want more of a series with the Captain and his crew as well as the mercenaries. The detail given about the pipe the characters were smoking made me want to go outside and pack my pipe while I read. Small details that I appreciate and helped me relate to characters in the story. The combat in the story was immersive and also a reason I’d love for a series to be made or other similar stories. I would have liked to have more time spent on the island as it was the objective of the voyage but it was wrapped up nicely and gave room for my thoughts to kind of sum it up. I can also appreciate a good vengeance story and this one wrapped it up nicely. I also liked the fact that romance was hinted at but didn’t have to be included. It left more time for the writer to build more on the ship atmosphere. That being one of my favorite parts of the story was the immersion i felt when they explained life on the ship and during the voyage. The magic used during combat and just as an everyday tool was also very cool to read and imagine. This story had a mix of treasure island and pirates of the Caribbean mixed with magic wielders and magical creatures. All in all it was a great story and like I said at the beginning it checked all then boxes for a solid fantasy story.
- antigoneRoyal Road★★★★★ 5.0I had a great time reading this story. The world building was good and not too fussy -I felt like I got enough information without it being overbearing, and I'd be interested to learn more about it. All the characters had unique personalities and didn't feel like an afterthought. I especially enjoyed the main character's cheerfully pompous attitude. It had me laughing the whole way through. The pacing was good and I enjoyed the story overall.
- TealiciousTeaRoyal Road★★★★ 3.5I'm going to be critical. It seems there are a few important lessons that might be helpful. It valid criticism for any readers and useful feedback for the author.
1) paragraph sizes are too big. For a web novel even a short story like this plenty of blank space is important for the reading experience. Some people like myself read on phones. Paragraphs with 10 plus lines are walls of text. 1-3 lines is a nice average with 4-5 for more descriptive paragraphs as needed.
2) dialogue is its own paragraph.
If A says, "Hello" that is a paragraph
"Hi" B replies is a seperate paragraph.
3) the chapter is too long. This is marketing advice, but also for readers. More chapters means more time on the front page for you so more readers. For the readers, many of them are using there attention spans for work, school or writing. Short paragrahps are easier to read when you are tired.
That is all for now. The story itself seemed fine as were the characters. Perhaps too much telling. I didn't notice many grammar mistakes but I found the story hard to read as per the above. A 3 and half stars for your first outing which could be bumped to four or higher with revisions. My criticism are more about writing than story itself.