Time and Fate locked dungeon

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

‘Fate has a strange way of enforcing itself, forever strengthening itself’

Sigh … there is that line again … the very first thing I will hear after I failed again. I really thought I would be able to get some things done this time.

Fate doesn’t just enforce itself, it has a sick sense of humour as well. This is not when my fate lock happened, it’s just sending me back to this point so I have to hear that darned line again.

A story about a young boy becoming the local dungeon in turbulent timesA titanic clash during his class unlock displaces his spirit into the dungeon core.

Now fate is just messing with him and making shit up to make him become the dungeon

Warning, it has a slow beginning.Yes, he is kind of an idiot and will learn and build from his mistakesDavid's system is broken for now, without the required information, he can't read any of it.The 5 elements will need to come together to have a fighting chance.

I am still trying to ballance world building with David's confused state.The most practical solution was to add some lore.

Hopefully the lore will bring focus to the important facts.

I feel confident that most of the confusion will be cleared up by chapter 30.Things that will not be explained are limited to-The purpose of the changeling-All possible class options-Future doors in the mind palace-Every single village and element type

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2023
Author: FateWillHaveItsWay

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 3.2/ 5.0
Followers: 35
Views: 15,474

Chapters(28 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(2)

Shite MeisterRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
This is my first review but not my first novel on this site. I have really enjoyed how you have setup the premise by usage of the unreliable narrator obviously knowing already experiancing the loop. I particularly like how unlike a novel such as perfect run there is an amount of exploration with the world without the huge baggage that comes from meeting the protagonist an innumerable amount of times in the loop. That being said your authors notes were sometimes detracting to letting the narrative speak for itself. Additionally your lack of quotation and linkage to who said what in the first few chapters led to confusion on who was speaking. Overall I think this could be the start of a really fun novel that I will continue to follow.
GreenKingRoyal Road
★★ 2.0
I read the first 5 chapters and will unfortunately not be able to continue.
Pros:
Book has a good premise and idea for a story. I think the structure of the book has potential however this book needs a TREMENDOUS amount of polish to get to that point.
Cons:
There are a number of issues starting with a large number of gramatical issues, missing periods, commas, and formatting. The chapters are extemely short. Like maybe three to five paragraphs each. I think the writer needs more time with working on fleshing out the story.
For the author:
Keep at it. I have read ALOT of books, on this site and on many others. I think you have the potential you just need to keep trying and honing your writing skills. There are free sites that do what Grammerly does and I would have rated this a 3 stars instead. Keep your head up you actually have taken the step to put your words out.