The Worldforge: Warlock Rising

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Abandoned as an orphan, Mar was tested for magic by the Mages of Orelm and was found to possess immense magical potential, but when he grew old enough to start his training he found he was unable to cast so much as a single spell!

Embarrassed by their mistake, the mages threw him in the library where he read books and tutored the mage students for a bit of money. All the while, he can’t help but envy the the students who are living the life he had so eagerly awaited.

But when an object of great and malevolent power promises to make good on all the promises the mages broke to him Mar is thrust into the world of magic. Mar will find that fate had something more than a life confined to the library planned for him after all.

Authors Notes:

I consider this to be a comming-of-age Sword and Sorcery story based mostly on the style of classic western fantasies. So if that's your thing then I encourage you to take a peek.

Something I want to mention though is that the main character starts of pretty wimpy, and that might not be your thing. That being said, if you stick with him he's got a long way to grow.

Also, while this version of the story is meant to be fully readable, more dicerning readers may want to wait until I move out of rough draft phase. There may be some inconsistancies with character and plot while I am still in the rough draft phase. I'm sorry for this, but this is my first web novel and from what I've read the best way to get a good novel out is to write write write, and then edit ruthlessly after you're finished with the book, so that's the plan I'm going to follow.

Again, this is a rough draft. Everything you are reading is subject to change, including the name, title, and cover photo. This may no longer be the case once I've decided I know where this fiction is going and I have a reasonable understanding of the characters and their behavior. You're reading what comes off my keyboard as it's made, with very limited editing.

There will be mistakes in the text. I do a quick spell check to take out the worst of the errors, but there will be some I miss. You can point them out in the comments if they are particularly confusing or glaring and I will try to fix them, however I am not overly concerned about minor errors as this is not the final draft by any means.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2017
Author: Aru

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.5/ 5.0
Followers: 679
Views: 177,898

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

Hyperion915Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Characters: possibly the best part of the story, all of them seem so lifelike and compelling. wonderful job done on that, it feels like im reading a professional writer's work
Story: not unique but again, compelling. i really want to read more and find out what will happen in later chapters, more so than 99% of the stories on here. i really hope you'll continue
style: perhaps due to mar's personality and his experiences, i dont have much of an understanding of the people and the setting in the story. you say the city is amazing and wrote about some of the things in it, but i dont have any image in my head for it or even really a very clear image of the places the story would take place in. the setting is just as distinct as the characters and i feel youve given it too small of a role
Grammar: some small mistakes but you said its a rough draft anyways. much less than i expected for an unedited draft though, good job on that
Overall: id buy your book if you were selling it, so make sure to sell it so that i can give you my money once youve done the rewrite
MattespeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Great book! Short but very good. Real characters, intrigue, and death with a lot of gray area. Thanks Aru!
whoops! Not 50 words. Author stopped at a terrible spot! MC is just coming in to some power and things are getting exciting. I wish it was longer. Maybe a book will be finished someday.
kranadheerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Excellent story. One of the best books on RR. Looking forward to reading more.
mik123mikRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This is quite easily one of the best-written stories on RRL that I've read.
tomcatfeverRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
For a dungeon inspired web serial, this is a good attempt. There is limited exposition, dialogue and actions general to move the plot forward. The author's world building is engaging. One thing the author does well is incorporate the setting into the motivations of the main character.
I hope the @Aru continues to thresh out the characterization of the supporting characters.
I get the 'rage at entitlement'. But The Poor Orphan With Vs The Asshole Elites has been handled more creatively. Much room for growth ahead, some room for editorial improvements.
On the flip side, The Struggle Against An Item Of Unknown Malevialant Powers is engaging --- no overpowered wish fulfillment.
I think Hemmingway said 98% of everything he wrote was crap. The story so far is 78-88% crap.
Text styling, grammar, indentation/alignment, is dialogue maintains acceptable quality.
4.5 / 5 would continue reading. Would rate higher with some characterization building/edits in these first parts.
Nomad1791Royal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Figure id drop a review from the lack of them. Good story im enjoying it, not a lot of mistakes and where i do catch them they are so minor i tend to forget to comment for a fix. Mc feels fleshed out although theres really not enough story to get a feel for anyone beyond the first impression. ill update my review after more chapters are added.
maskedcerfRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Speedy review cause i m in a hurry (sry)
Grammar
Nothing bad stick out
Style
I enjoy the story and stay enamored from beginning to end
Story
Story is good, story is great but it feel like you changed the way you wanted it to go midway
Character
All good, none dumb
But the bad guy of the first half was kinda looking dumb in the beginning and pop he is given a reason for is action... kinda feel weird like it wasn t supposed to go that way but its better if the bad guy isn t dumb so good change
Conclusion
Good story
KillzoneRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
I found this while looking for something to pass the time and I have to say that I was quickly entrhalled by your story. I sat down and read the whole thing in one sitting. Kudos!
Now, for some constructive critcism:
The first thing I noticed while reading through your chapters was a tendency for you to go off on tangents. Sometimes while in the middle of one thought you will interupt it and spend a paragraph or two to explain some part of the back story. While I do appreciate thorough world building, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. Interupting a thought or conversation or an action really isn't the right time to build lore.
The next thing oviously would be the grammar/spelling. You've already mentioned that you are aware that errors exist, and you have stated a desire to rewrite, there were a few "Wha...Ohhh" moments. I'm sure this is something that will get ironed out as you edit your chapters more thoroughly, I still felt compelled to include it in my review.
One of my favorite parts of your story so far is how well you've developed your characters. Sure it's still early on, but even so you've done a splendid job on at least touching on each characters motivations, and in such a way to feel real. Continue as you have been and I doubt I will have any complaints.
One thing that I've had trouble following is the magic system here. I can understand some of the basics, but not much more then that. I can't imagine myself as a character in this world, creating and using spells. I feel a fundamental lack of understanding how the system works. This might just be me, as I could have misread something or just missed it all together.
Anyway, all in all very well done! I look forward to future chapters!
The ValeRoyal Road
★★★ 2.5
Well written, though some characters are cliche tropes, and the main villain of the first arc is little more than a cardboard cutout sterotype, and there are what appears to be small and large inconsistencies in characterisation and motivation for the sake of a specific plot.
The worst part for me, and what caused me to stop reading around Keeper of the Realm 5 (chapter 14 over all) (I ran out of things to read and so returned) is that the main character has no agency of his own. every attempt by the MC to take action by his own reasoning is subverted, sabotaged, he takes a direct action in opposition to his own stated goals and reasoning, or someone comes along and uses force to take his ability to choose and act away.
It's not until Clear Skies that the main character gets to make a dicision of their own and follow through (chapter 20). Prior to this they are nothing more than an agent of forced stupidity, a slave and meat puppet in order to force the plot in a specific direction. This enforced stupidity and puppeteering seems set to continue with further acts of stupidity contrary to the MC's interests, intellect, and established character traits as of the latest chapter (21)
If you can make it past the first 14 chapters or don't mind an MC that is basically a superfluous vessel that could be replaced by an animate object for all the personal agency he has, then the writing is good, barring some errors. There is a clear and progressing plot, with foreshadowing. The world is well constructed and interesting and most of the characters and have a life and voice of their own, though they are inconsistent in characterisation.
Over all, it has some weaknesses and areas for improvement.
vesuviusRoyal Road
★★ 2.0
Read up to the The Grey Stone 5 or ch 7. The characters are all over the place, its like a shitty soap opera. All of the characters are insuffarble, and I just want everyone to die. The grammer is readable even if it hurts a little.
Ways to improve
- just reread a chapter and grammer issues should go away
- every incounter and interaction feels very cartoonish and unbelieveable
-characters personalities are inconsistent, and they seem to forget/ forgive previous encouters