The World of Erd and Gods

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2021

Author

eldritch duck

• Chapter IX, Campfires.
  Dec 18, 2022
• Chapter VIII, The miserly demon.
  Jun 26, 2022
• Chapter VII, travels in the deep
  Mar 5, 2022
• Chapter VI, Nawa.
  Dec 13, 2021
• Chapter V: Warm soup and friendly faces.
  Dec 6, 2021
• Chapter IV, the Deep Forest.
  Nov 25, 2021
• Chapter III, Respite.
  Nov 22, 2021
• Chapter II, Sacred hounds.
  Nov 16, 2021
• Chapter I, Loss of Home.
  Nov 11, 2021

Reviews

Community Reviews(5)

• S.N. KeirsteadRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  In a rare sight on RR, The World of Erd and Gods is a traditional fantasy story. The writing style is solid; descriptive yet brief which fits the tone and subject matter of the story well. Grammar is a non-issue; every chapter was edited very well.
  The main character, Bloumen, might be an acquired taste depending on your preferences. If you've ever read a story with a "young and innocent" type character, you know what to expect. Somewhat. She does have a twist about her that works well with the personality portrayed.
  Definitely an interesting read. Would recommend for anyone looking for something a bit out of their comfort zone but still somewhat familiar.
• Zach SkyeRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Overall: 5/5
  I think that this piece has a lot going for it in terms of interest, between world-building and some of the character dynamics established, I could see this becoming a very compelling story with more of a character-driven narrative, ie, the kinda story that's up my alley. It is book cased with an event, but I'm unsure how much of the focus will be on one or another, I just know that the character components established an interesting dynamic early on. That said, this review occurred only at chapter five, so it's still in the early stages. I'd recommend people give this book a shot if they're a fan of fantasy. It has potential.
  Style: 3.5/5
  I was on edge on this one in terms of stars awarded, I leaned towards 3.5 to be on the higher end. Stylistically, I believe the author simply has to come into their own and develop some techniques. I observed more adverbs than necessary, redundant sentences and writing, even some (advanced) issues with passive voice, though pleased to say the blatant instances of passive voice were removed. My critique of this component might be a little higher than a normal reader on this site, due to recent study in the topic to improve my own writing, so they stand out to me more.
  I do give bonus points on some of the verb and adjective choices the author made though, which raised this in my regard. Some verb choices were strong, some adjectives given paint scenes. Good descriptions as well.
  Story: 5/5
  One of the best parts so far. Though, only five chapters deep it's hard to get a real clear gauge of where it's going. Some of the tension is introduced and piques interest, despite it being from the start. I find the inner conflict to be the main driving point that weaves tension into scenes, and delivers that very effectively. There's also some cool world-building and hints at a unique magic system, but doesn't go into expositionary overload as some fantasy stories do, so that's very promising.
  Grammar: 4.5/5
  Very readable, though
• TaxReligionRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  So, I enjoyed reading this.  Although it's just started, I can already tell there is good characterization and an interesting setting.  So far there are two main characters, Bloumen, the daughter of a rich merchant family, who although is used to luxury has quickly adapted to her very unluxurious circumstances, and Kirtridge her competent guide.  I think their personalities are clear and well presented.
  The story is just beginning, but it immediately introduces you to an engaging situation, easing you into the world whenever it is relevant and keeping tensions high.  I applaud where the author chose to start the story.
  Style:  Here is the place I have the biggest problem.  I think the author needs to evaluate her writing style.  There's a lot of unnecessary words.  Lots of uses of "was" that could be eliminated.  Bad flow of sentences.  Descriptions that are too wordy and not engaging enough.  I suggest the author watches some youtube videos on Line Editing.  I think if you put a bit of effort into learning a lot of the common writing pitfalls it will improve your writing considerably.
  Grammar: There were a few mistakes I noticed.  Easily catchable if you just reread your work.  Misplaced words that you probably just forgot to erase and stuff like that.  Overall, you have a good understanding of the English language and are able to communicate your ideas.  I was never confused.
• Ariadne_YarnRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  This story is interesting with the idea of gods and demons using humans as their vessels to come into the world. The author’s command of english is excellent as well. However, I find it difficult for me to immerse and see the action in the MC POV. It feels more like an omniscient view of events, disconnecting me from the characters.
  1. Story.
  It’s an intriguing story of a young girl, Bloumen, born with the powers of a demon. The story starts with an action-packed chase  as she runs for her life and seeks help from Kirtridge. There are also interesting elements of magic in this story. 4 stars solely based on the early chapters.
  2. Style.
  The style is the main reason I feel detached from the story. The author’s command of English is in no way bad. But the way it is written and presented makes it difficult for me to follow and picture the scenes in my head. I can’t really feel the action and tension. The sentences lack musicality in my opinion. I would prefer if some sentences are straightforward and others, complicated. I felt so lost trying to process every sentence that took away the fun. 3 stars for me. Do note however, this is just my opinion and may not be the same for everyone.
  3. Grammar.
  The grammar is good. I didn’t see many mistakes. 4.5 stars!
  4. Characters
  The characters are developed at a slower pace than I would like but I do think they are quite interesting. We will have to wait and see how they grow in future chapters. Based on the limited content available, I would give 4 stars.
  5. Closing.
  This story definitely has potential and I would like to commend the author for publishing her first story on Royal Road. I think it’s a good story but she needs to discover what style works for her and incorporate it into her writing. I would love to read this again after the writer develops her original style. Good job nonetheless and read more to improve! All the best!
• ARC-MOONRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  I'm only going to be covering the style and grammar part, as well as how jarring this story starts out, so this will be quick.
  Style: It's going for a third-person POV that describes most things, and for the most part, I think it does a good job at that, but there were some issues with structuring and comma placement, but other than that, it's fine.
  Grammar: In terms of spelling things, I encounter little to no grammatical errors, so I don't have much to say on that.
  Dialogue: It sometimes comes off as awkward, dialogue that sounds not quite right when read aloud, and all the characters kinda talking in a stiff manner that makes them sound the same sometimes.
  Now, for the final section, the beginning: I realize it was trying to throw us into the middle of the action, but I feel as if it didn't do this to the best effect. It was like I was expected to understand what was going on, who Blouman is, and what this demon in her head is. On top of that, I feel as if without some lead-up to the conflict at hand, it's like we skipped a couple of chapters of build-up.
  Overall: this is not a bad story, nor can I say much on it since there are only 5 chapters. I'll wait for more chapters to be uploaded, but until then, I'm not gonna make a rating on the story or characters since it would be too early to make a full assessment on those parts.
  Hopefully, I don't come off as harsh, and I also hope this helps the author. So yeah... Have a nice day.