The Twins of the Aletere

Information

Status

Ongoing

Year

2021

Author

JMMatheis

• Book 3 - Chapter 18 - Unfortunate Ending
  Jul 28, 2023
• Chapter 05 - Uncouth Words
  Dec 6, 2021
• Chapter 04 - Sister's Pain
  Dec 5, 2021
• Chapter 03 - Teacher's Pet
  Dec 5, 2021
• Chapter 02 - Lessons Learned
  Dec 5, 2021
• Chapter 01 - The Twins - (Act I)
  Dec 5, 2021
• Prologue
  Dec 5, 2021

Reviews

Community Reviews(10)

• B.C. FaJohnRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  So, I wanted to get this review up before I finished reading (and will update it as I get caught up), but I found so much enjoyment reading this story.
  Style
  The style is fun - the characters breathe to life through witty dialogue but it is easy to read. I do wish there was a tad more descriptive element added to some scenes, but it is not enough to complain. I found the style refreshing.
  Grammar
  I pointed out a few things in terms of typos, but mostly I think it can all be fixed with a read through. Certain commas are placed in places they are not needed is the biggest thing that pops out to me, however it is not jarring.
  Another thing: this current draft is written with Australian grammar rules, meaning they use singular quotation marks and not double. This is CORRECT - and I did not mind it at all. I know the author had told me people complained about it, but I wanted to make a statement here that this is grammatically correct and should not be dinged on.
  Story
  Some call this story slow, I call it intriguing. I feel the biggest draw back to web novels is that the story is often times given to you on a silver platter with no real mystery or build up - within the first five chapters you know all you need to know and are just watching the character move through the hoops you already warned them about.
  While that works for story telling on e-novel websites (kindle vella, wattpad, royal road, et cetera), this story follows a more traditional approach. I appreciate that, as I know the climax and ending will be all that much more rewarding.
  Character
  The characters are great. They are witty, they are smart, and some are mean. You follow a few different characters through the story (multipov), but I found enjoyment for each of them. I sympathized for some, and grew angered at others. The author knows how to draw you in whichever direction they see fit by introducing these characters, and it is a very rewarding ride.
  Overall, as of Chapter 11, I am very pleased and cannot
• D.M. Rhodes (Razzmatazz)Royal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  The Twins of the Aletere – Shadow of the eclipse is another one of those novels that I don’t quite know how to classify, genre-wise. I’d say dark-fantasy, perhaps? Before we start, note that there are two editions up to read, one is the first draft of the story and the other is the proofread and updated version, this review is based on the latter.
  The story generally follows Groyven and Tiffaniel, two twins in possession of unusual elemental powers stemming from the Demon’s Thread. Groyven and Tiffaniel very much act like freshly orphaned children, to the point that it’s too convincing sometimes haha. I found myself getting very frustrated at some behavior and had to remind myself that they’re not adults, so it came back around and I was like ‘yeah, okay, that’s a pretty reasonable way to act for a kid’. They’re sympathetic enough and they have a strong connection that is explored deeply in the first ‘act’ that I read. There are other characters we see a fair amount of, such as Selera or Sialin, they’re pretty alright too. Though it’s hard to… well… no, I won’t tell you. Spoilers and all, haha. You’ll have to find out for yourself.
  The introduction to the story is fairly spooky and it definitely sets a mood that you carry with you to the first act that follows, which I would recommend too, since the tiny tinge of paranoia lets you get a glimpse behind locked doors.
  The writing is solid and I found no noticeable spelling or grammar mistakes. The pacing is slow (The first 19 chapters are all in one location and is just about exploring the characters and the introduction to the plot) But I’m a fan of this kind of exploratory pacing, so no negatives here from my view.
  All in all, if you’re looking for a survival story focusing on the strong bond between twins (Is that a highly specific thing to be looking for? I dunno) Then you should give this one a fair shot! =)
• Dylan KingRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  Shadow of the Eclipse is the story of the Desilantre twins, orphaned twins under the care of their sister who works aboard a ship, who find themselves lost and alone after another disaster.
  Story
  As you will know from looking at the other reviews, SotE is absolutely a slow-burner in terms of pace, but that is far from a criticism. One of the benefits of the webnovel/serial format is that time can be taken to deal with issues at a depth that there just isn't the word count for in a traditional fantasy novel. The focal characters of the story, the twins, have recently been through a traumatic loss, and the author takes the time to explore the impact of that trauma, and how it affects the pair and their relationship in different ways as they try and cope with it. Very nicely done, whilst managing to nudge the plot along with breadcrumbs and foreshadowing for those paying attention.
  Style:
  The prose is competently written, with vivid imagery used to ensure a solid sense of place and character. The author does tend to over-rely on adjective-noun combinations, which can lead to redunduncies that slow the pacing, but as mentioned before, not to a crippling or off-putting degree.
  Character:
  The twins are the focal characters of the books, and are incredibly well-characterised, with distinct personalities, flaws and quirks. Of the pair, Groyven is the most believable, as well as the most thoroughly explored, and I'm very curious to find out if we get to see more of Tiff's POV. Her apparent fear that everybody is trying to separate her from her twin, can, at times, feel over the top and without basis. This could be intentional, grief-based irrationality, but I feel as though we need to see more of her POV to make that judgement and help us rationalise her beliefs.
  Grammar
  A few issues, nothing immersion-breaking.
  Summary
  An incredibly well written story, with relatable characters and an obviouslt well-built world waiting to be explored that is clearly building slowly to an ep
• ElyRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This is a tale with two twins in focus, but there are also a lot of colourful, vibrant side characters that all feel alive. The pacing is a little slower, but I feel like a warm hand encloses me as I read, and it gently places me in the story to show me around.
  I feel like this is brewing up to something nice, and I'd like to follow these characters and see how they develop as the story goes on!
  there are some plays at different cultures that are both commonly found and new at the same time, and I like how the story slowly delves deeper into the cultures and the powers that are growing all around them.
  What's said above, coupled with a good use of language, makes me want to read on, and I'd advice you to give it a shot!
• VMJaskierniaRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  This is deep fantasy. This is 'everything is carefully crafted and put into place' fantasy where the world and characters and every single bit of backstory was meticulously worked out and we get to see bits and pieces of it and want to know more.
  I know this in part from the text, but also from conversation with the author :)
  First of all- yes, a bit of the grammar needs work. Small things, nothing that should take you out of the story. But we can already see from the first rewrite that JM is learning and getting better with every chapter.
  Speaking of- this is a story with a rewrite. The minute the rewritten chapter is up, the old version is taken down. But the rest of the old story is up, so on the off-chance you're so enthralled you can't stop, you can go read on. I think that's really great. I hope folk start doing that here on RR in terms of rewrites.
  The story and characters though! The characters are great. Everything from their names, to the backstories, to how they are as people. The world also has so much history. It's top notch worldbuilding.
  The style is good. Well written. We get into everyone's thoughts and motivation and everyone feels real.
  It's fantasy and amazing deep fantasy. Go read it.
• eric_riverRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 5.0

  I rate this highly for the passion flowing through its veins
  its attention to detail and structure never wanes
  it burns slowly, leaving lots of time for characters
  they will grow on you long before their big adventures
  The style is densely packed with dialogue and fine detail
  the narration is fluent and depicts a vivid tale
  scenes are built with loving care, and everything is clear
  and you’ll be well accustomed when the action does appear
  The story is a slowburn, so if that’s your thing then great
  things progress a little slow but it is worth the wait
  where the plot's at now, it's getting juicy and heavy
  it's like a feast on thanksgiving with delicious gravy!
  The world is growing outward from the interacting cast
  a history of of magic is expanding very fast
  it’s simply interesting if you like your share of lore
  if you are, then that’s what you’ll enjoy this story for
  The language used is great, and there’s appropriate jargon
  the author’s done the research to describe the quest they’re on
  every word and term is used deliberately too
  authors that invest the time to go that far are few
  The characters are mysteries that deepen over time
  to spoil the way they grow for you right now would be a crime
  all I’ll say is they’re worth following as they evolve
  they’re just part of all the mysteries you’ll want to solve
  Overall, this tale is worth your time so check it out
  just know it’s a literary work, there is no doubt
  it’s not light, but if it clicks with you, you’ll love this book
  if you like dense fantasy then this is worth a look
• SupagokiburiRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  So up till now i really like the story and it kind of gives me name of the wind vibes :). Let me explain. You have different Povs that are intertwined but distant from another and there is a long run goal that might or might not be achievable. That's what reminds me of name of the wind. Grammar seems good, but english is not my first language. It sometimes gets confusing, when there is a plot going down, but you have to wait for the next chapter. But all in all it's a good story and i am looking forward to where it's going.
  minor spoiler:
  as i am a dragon fan i am especially looking forward if they will meet the dragon.
  So give the author a read it's worth it and support their passion :D
• MethuselahRoyal Road

  ★★★★★ 4.5

  Summary: All in all the story is a good one, making use of a comprehensible story, magic, and distinct character personalities–however the pacing leaves something to be desired. This being said, leaving room for desire doesn’t damage the story significantly, meaning for as long as one is willing to wait it out, there is an enjoyable tale to be read.
  Style: Although the style occasionally dips into telling, it does so only rarely and thus, by avoiding this, creates a rich and enjoyable environment. I found no trouble creating mental images of the vessel and crew members, and the environments they interact and learn in. The only real negative here is the pacing–the story really takes its time, moving slowly and describing the day-to-day as the characters learn and do verbal battle against Firebrand (a fitting nickname).
  Story: The story itself suggests heavily about a large outside world, one, painted as ignorant and uncouth, that they’ve just escaped from. This leaves us aboard a ship with endless opportunities. I like this as a starting point, because it grounds the characters as nomads instead of as settled persons, leaving their personalities and experiences open to an unimaginable host of opportunities. The plot itself, insofar as I have seen it presented, is a coming-of-age magic story following the tragic loss of a set of twin’s parents.
  Grammar: A few subtle issues, incorrect word use and missing or mistaken letters. However, they were few and far between, and thus not disruptive nor problematic to my enjoyment of this work.
  Character: Each character's voice is unique, and doesn’t cross over or get caught up in that of the other’s. This creates distinct interactions when characters are speaking to one another wherein their personality shows clearly and with respect both to the situation, and past experiences one can guess at. In comparing some of them to my own thoughts and opinions, I found a great dislike for Sialin–a good thing, to be clear, to experience s
• Skyryder43Royal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  A Pair of Elven children, gifted with magic accidently transport themselves to a parallel world much like their own, but different. Great plot and character build so far (Chap.57) I'm enjoing this story. Great read. The main characters move from a world where their magic is frowned on with plots within plots of intregue and betrayal to a land where magic is embraced and "The Gods" are real and tangible beings. And of course there is intregue and mayhe there as well, but also a little bit of enlightenment for our "Twins". Their very being seems to be intertwined with the goins on of this new and yet familiar world they find themselves in. Looking forward to MORE! Thanks, KR
• RaccoonMageRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  I think the slowness that many seem to have felt stems from the liberal use of long dialogue tags and motion descriptors. If you swap out a little camera direction for 'said so-n-so,' you might alleviate that small qualm and get to meatier bits faster, thereby holding attention better.
  I had a little trouble with character visualization, but I know some readers prefer minimal character descriptions. Having the characters say each others' names a lot in dialogue can help distinguish them at the start of a book,--I assume that's why you've done it--but it can sound unnatural, too. I felt like the emotionality baked into things was a little much, but I know that giving it an anime flavor isn't atypical for webnovels. I get that it's a style choice some favor. Allowing characters to say more than neccessary helps sneak extra info in, but it can make dialogue feel forced. That balance is one of the hardest things to master, imo.
  The prologue was a pretty strong start. You introduced interesting characters right away, set up some stakes, and began on darker footing (which I enjoyed). I also like the Demon Thread and weaving. I describe some applications of magic in my books as "weaving," too. It's a deliciously evocative way to describe magical things.
  All in all, I can tell that you've put a lot of passion and energy into your work. It's got tons of potential and I'm glad that your story is gaining momentum.
  Wishes,
  RM