The Struggles of a Broken Dungeon Heart

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2021

Author

Xeronos

• The Beginning
  Sep 2, 2021

Reviews

Community Reviews(1)

• MOROSERoyal Road

  ★★★ 2.5

  The attempt here to present a litRPG with a 'broken' protagonist, whose race is undermined due to a war between the gods and who hence is severely limited at first, is a good twist on the genre. The video game setting is established by listing stats and the cost in 'RP' to do various actions. The sense of the protagonist's limitations could be more pronounced if the reader was given some idea of what a more functional build would be capable of or what the protagonist is missing out on.
  The story starts with a somewhat Promethean portrayal of a female goddess of 'desire,' who is chained and oppressed by the other gods and treated as an embodiment of 'sin.' While this Blakean perspective is interesting, the scene is portrayed in a way that is slightly too black-and-white, and it might be improved by creating more of a sense of ambiguity and uncertainty to this war among the gods. Even in Milton's Paradise Lost, part of the poem's charm is that Satan is so developed that many readers side with him. As the story develops, hopefully there will be more complexity introduced rather than turning its goddess into a martyr figure oppressed by cartoonish, prudish gods. Nonetheless, the story at least creates some sense of mystery that leaves ambiguous the precise nature of the heroine's role.
  The spelling and grammar is an issue here, and makes some of the story slightly hard to judge. For instance, several typos when Tatiana is introduced mar that segment because it isn't clear what the sentences are attempting to say. There are also some misplaced commas and other grammatical errors scattered through the work, meaning that some editing could help as the story progresses.