The Shen Path: First Breaths [Cultivation Fantasy, Slice of Life]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

The Shen family has some of the most powerful cultivators in the world, but their power is only matched by their humility. When their firstborn son, Tan Shen, begins his journey on the path of cultivation, a mystical practice passed down through generations in his family, the world itself begins to take notice.

Gifted with a rare wind spirit named Zephyr, Tan embarks on a childhood filled with adventure, training, and the wonder of discovering his own powers. Living in the quiet countryside, Tan and his three closest friends—each bonded to a unique elemental spirit—spend their days honing their skills under the watchful eyes of their parents and mentors. But as they grow stronger, they also uncover the deeper mysteries of their heritage and the true nature of the powers they wield.

In a world where every breath holds the promise of magic,The Shen Path: First Breathsinvites readers to step into a tale of friendship, family, and the first steps toward destiny. Join Tan as he learns what it truly means to be a cultivator, where the challenges of growing up are matched only by the challenges of mastering one's own spirit.

(This is a slice of life/coming of age story involving young cultivators. Book 1 is complete).

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2024
Author: A. Stargazer

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.6/ 5.0
Followers: 397
Views: 265,891

Reviews

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Community Reviews(10)

SpookyspacklesRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Reading through the first six chapters of the story, this novel is definitely unique in its peaceful prose. A world ending disaster is not going to come knocking at the MC's door, instead you get to enjoy everyday life, with a dash of magic.
Style: The story is told primarily from the perspective of Tan, who is very young and curious. The author uses light descriptions to keep an airy flow to the chapters. It works well, since cultivation is a pretty well understood story base, and the genre isn't trying to stir a panic or leave you tense.
Story: The genre is definitely spot on with slice of life, focusing on the MC coming of age and cultivating their powers. The obstacles the MC faces are intentionally mundane, and often wrapped up with some clever tricks and life lessons for the characters.
Grammar: No issues that haven't already been flagged. Easy reading and great flow!
Characters: The story right now is very focused on Tan. The author has told their perspective pretty well, given their younger age. There are things that Tan definitely doesn't understand at his age, but you, as the audience, can catch the joke loud an clear. There have been hints and pokes at the pasts of other characters (especially Tan's parents) in the novel, and it will be interesting to see how the author delves into these details in the coming chapters.
Overall, if you are looking for something to read and relax to, this is a great read! It will not stress you out (at least as far as I have seen!)
Elijah KingRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Overall:
I really enjoyed The Shen Path: First Breaths. It offers a world of cultivation based on themes of growth and transformation. The author does a great job of skillfully building the narrative and helping me to imagine the world itself. It does have aspects that remind me a lot of Avatar the Last Airbender and Legend of Kora but I personally enjoyed that.
Style:
The writing style is engaging, making it easy for me to become immersed in this world of cultivation. The pacing could be improved, mostly during moments of action or conflict. Slowing down during these scenes a bit would allow for a deeper emotional connection for me as a reader. Also I think varying the dialogue to better reflect each character’s unique voice would add a bit to how I see each character. At the moment some of them felt a little one note which is fine but if improved could really help the story take off.
Story:
The story’s world-building is the standout element for me. It has a fairly unique take on cultivation that adds layers to the plot. The concept of bonding with spirits is intriguing and something I personally really enjoyed. The overarching theme of growth and transformation is well-executed, but it could be enhanced a bit more by giving characters more opportunities for introspection.
Character:
The characters are well-developed, particularly the relationships within the Shen family, which serve as a strong emotional core for the story. However, some characters' voices could be more distinct, especially in dialogue where I did find them to be a bit too similar at times. This didn't really affect my view of the story though and it is something that can be improved on over time.
Grammar:
Nothing really to say here, it was pretty solid and I didn't see any glaring issues.
Overall, this is a great story that borrows aspects from shows like ATLA which made it a pretty special mix in this genre for me.
R.MagnusRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Overall:
I had a lot of fun reading this one and plan to continue following to see where it goes. I feel like the story delivers well on its promises and provides a really wholesome, realistic coming-of-age experience.
Style:
I really enjoyed the style of writing. The entire read just feels "light" and flows nicely. It blends in great humor and thought-provoking moments without feeling forced or out of place.
Grammar:
No major issues here, in my opinion. There are a few small mistakes here and there, but nothing too significant.
Story:
As I mentioned earlier, the story really delivers on the slice-of-life cultivation it promised in the synopsis. It's fun following the kids as each progresses in their own discipline. The explanations of everything are also clear and help the story move along easily. The reason I deducted 0.5 here is because sometimes the pacing felt a bit slow. The main overarching plot, as I see it at least, is the mystery behind Tan's parents. Each time the story focused on this mystery, it reached great peaks (be it Renton's appearance, or the Zangs at the beginning). However, these moments are a bit too rare for my taste.
Character:
The characters are all well-written, and each feels like a unique individual, with Tren and Wensho being the most interesting ones. I do have a small issue with Tan, and perhaps this is just a matter of personal opinion here. I feel like he is overshadowed not only by his parents' characters but also by the other children in the group (I find them more interesting than him), which is odd since, as far as I understand, he is sort of the main character. Perhaps this feeling will change for me later on.
Bottom line:
A very fun read that I would definitely recommend to anyone looking for light-hearted slice of life filled with magic.
Rookie12Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Before you, we have a story about a family of cultivators. Most of the story follows young Tan, a dutiful and clever boy, on his path to... well, not really enlighten; he is too young for it. To betterment. A path of cultivation requires sacrifice and dedication; there are no shortcuts to be taken, and our young MC goes onto it, trying to have fun along the way and learning many amazing abilities. And making friends.
Style. The novel is easy to read; chapters flow into one another fast and smoothly. There is no abundance of descriptions, and the minimalistic style works rather well.
Story and worldbuilding. In the first six chapters we have gotten enough hints on the larger picture and explanation how the system of cultivation works, all without boggling us down with info-dumping.
Grammar. Take my words with a grain of salt. I am not a native English speaker, but I have found no serious mistakes.
Character. So far, a bit basic. The MC is very obviously the most interesting person to me; the author did a fantastic job of capturing how a child would think. The rest are a bit too obvious, but maybe it will turn around in the future chapters.
It is a good, cozy read if you want to have a mood lifted or relax.
SkarabraeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I like this story quite a bit.
Style: I like this story's style a lot. It has literary devices, in particular a lot of imagery that helps with the story's tone and set various scenes within the story. The author has incredibly good word choice and is able to set the tone very well with it. The author's way of writing is also unique. And I can safely say that the tone fits the story perfectly.
Story: The story is great. it is paced at just the right pace. It develops at the right pace too. So, no complaints regarding that. The story itself is a coming of age story about children cultivators. It is a very good and entertaining story with an unusual premise. It handles its premise incredibly well. And honestly, I think it could make a pretty good children's book. So, this is the first time I think I can say I recommend this story for both adults and children.
Grammar: I couldn't find any grammatical errors. That does not mean they don't exist, but if they do, they are most likely not distracting enough for most people to notice them.
Character: The characters are great. They are all well-depicted, realistic, and three-dimensional. The child characters especially are handled well, which is good because it is very difficult to write child characters.
Overall, this is a very good story and I recommend it.
K BikeRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Like the author I am a fan of BoC. In a way I even like this better as the protagonists are children with whom we can tag along on their adventures. It takes me back to my childhood, reading books like Tom Sawyer and the likes and to a time where I would just enjoy life without any concerns.
I would appreciate though if the author reviewed and edited the chapters once more, as there are quite a few typos.
QueSeaRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This is a really well written Cultivation tale. It starts as a 5 year old and the author does a great job, in my opinion, of giving you a feeling of what it was like to be that age again when everything was new and "The Best Thing Evar!" The story is touching, funny, and has a great pace. It would make a fun slice of life anime. At the point the story is, I feel like the author is hitting his stride. If you're looking for a story that exists only to move the overpowered MC from one calamity to the next, move on. There's nothing here for you. We've only gotten the barest hints of any kind of intrigue or conflict. This is truly a slice of life and what a wonderful slice it is.
J. W. WeldRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Overall:
As stated in my title this was my first cultivation / slice of life story. My usual taste in fiction is fantasy with dark themes and intricate plots. Yet, I enjoyed this story! It's a charming tale with a broad range of child characters, cultivation tropes and low stakes.
Style:
This story is written in third person omniscient POV. It reads like a narrator telling you a story. To me, this was the biggest drawback for the story as it created distance between me as a reader and the characters. The prose in general is easy to read but lacks description that could be used to build atmosphere.
Story:
Stakes are very low. A boy bonds with a spirit, learns to cultivate and hangs out with his family and friends. The introduction of new characters adds to the character dynamics which is the main driver of the story.
Grammar:
I found no issues with the grammar or spelling.
Character:
The main character is a pretty bland good guy MC but we constantly switch POVs to other characters that have a lot more going on. I found the child character voices authentic which can often be a road block for many amateur authors.
Blue NoonRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
If you're looking for a comfortable, low-effort read, with some childhood charm and a sprinkling of magic, this fiction is perfect for you! We are introduced to our (initially) 5-year-old MC Tan and his family in a village, where he acquires a spirit to become an air cultivator. In this world, certain characters acquire spirits to become magic-wielders, which are linked to the four classical elements of earth, air, wind and fire. I'll start by saying I found this a very straightforward read, getting to know the characters which I think is exactly what the author is going for. The basic premise of the story is solid, and interesting.
Although I wasn't completely clear by the end of chapter six what a cultivator precisely was, and the exact function of cultivation. A little bit of exposition here would be useful. The term is used repeatedly in a couple of ways and I got a sense it was to do with drawing power from the character's aligned element, but the purpose of that wasn't entirely clear.
Style: the author's writing style is straightforward. For me, the prose is very dialogue-heavy and doesn't give as clear a sense of the world as I personally would like. I struggled to get a strong sense of the geography of this world, the village, where the characters lived, and much of it seems left to the reader's imagination. I had a vision in my head, but I have no idea if it's what the author intended. There are some nice touches with the style. The author captures the thought process of a young girl, Safron, very well in chapter six, and there is some humour as well. But if you like descriptive stories and worlds, this might not be quite that cup of tea. There is also one point where the POV lurches mid-scene from the MC to a Lord which I found disorienting.
Character: there's nothing wrong with the characters here, but as far as I have read I don't really get a strong sense from any of them. The children aren't yet too distinct from each other. Although the author gives s
KairamiRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
The story is very cozy so far, not much action, and more slow and relaxing. Cultivator stories generally start pretty slow to accomodate all of the cultivation, but this story seems to lean into that, along with some short time skips to show off the experiences of the MC and children.
Style: As someone else had said, the style of the story is very straight-forward. This did impact my full enjoyment of the story, as there were quite a few details that I wished were explored a bit more. Since its a cultivation novel, I think its important to at least describe how cultivation works. Readers of cultivation stories are pretty familiar with it, but just saying "Tan cultivated for 30 minutes," leaves a little to be desired.
Story: So it's a slice of life story, so it's not really important to have any type of major plot. I think this does well at showcasing the daily lives of the child/parent cultivators, and exploring the relationships and world around them. The pacing is great, as each chapter had its own sufficient... content, for lack of a better word. The story definitely does feel cozy and relaxing, and good to melt your mind away as you make yourself comfortable. I think it does deliver as advertised.
Grammar: Just a few grammatical issues, mainly oversights with words, and not vocabulary or unorthodox word choice issues. Nothing to detract from the story.
Character: Another weak point I think so far, is the exploration of the characters. They are all pretty static so far, but they do all have their identities. There's no one that really "sticks out", except for the father, who is this mysterious, strong cultivator.