The Rejection

Information

Status

Completed

Year

2019

Author

M. R. Aze

• The Rejection
  Jun 2, 2019

Reviews

Community Reviews(2)

• RznRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  This short story tries to encapsulate a lot of background in a very small word count, and it simply struggles to present itself in the framework. The setting itself has some aspects that requires some explanation and deviates from the standard 'climatic reveal' that muddies the relationship between the two characters. It is bogged down by these emotions; the unseen history and its writing have little emotional impact as a result. If it were kept simple and focused, it could have sold this tragedy instead of spending much of it explaining and challenging the default conceptions of the reader.
• OrrmRoyal Road

  ★★★ 2.5

  Congratulations, you, author, have passed.
  Being a short story, context is naturally lacking however in this piece, the author manages to capture the required information as the event unfolds.
  Sometimes details fall on deaf ears and some descriptions or actions, such as the very presance of guards, come as a slight surprise however it is cleared up as the story progresses.
  The biggest problem is really two things, lack of complete context and character flushing.
  Word economy is not a problem, this story is very, very short. As a result it's continuous readability is quite high and you can burn out the entire thing in a few minutes.
  But again, complete context. We know little of the age of the world, less about the events described and even less about the SITUATION which led up to this, minus the vague details.
  In its own way, these are factors of the story however they bring up rapid questions when referenced. You, mistah autha, flush out characters minimally enough for the story to work as is, but other than that it's lacking in both notional and shock value substance.
  Additionally, the flow is all over the place. While the story manages to keep a steady, slow pace, word flow is rapid, resulting in a story that feels as if it moves up, then switched to down then up again then west, like a semi-retarding pendulum car. (this is not a major problem and from personal experience, as you improve in writing it will gradually diminish in frequency until you are able to control flow without even realizing it)
  Also, character flushing. Enough information is given in the story that you understand who the characters are and who is on whose side. However what they truely lack is CHARACTER. No personality, no motivations, not thing. All else is irrelevant or not included and this, leads into the main issue.
  Punch, or lack thereof.
  A tragic story, any, tragic story must have some form of emotional nutshot to slap its readers. Always. The main reason why the story lack this, is du