The Reincarnation of Alysara [Rough draft]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

After being reincarnated as a busty fox-like race in a fantasy world filled with magic and mysteries Alysara finds herself blinded after reaching too far for something she should not have. Now she must train her ability to sense the mana around her and discover what mana and magic really is to see.

IMPORTANT: I am now rewriting this story so new chapters will be very slow.

Art Commissioned by iloah.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2021
Author: Comiak

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.6/ 5.0
Followers: 7,623
Views: 7,364,338

Chapters(242 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

NecroticNemesisRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
While there are many grammar and spelling issues, the world building is superb. I especially like the deep dive into the magic system. Feel free to contact me if you need a proofreader. The system and locations are unique. It will be interesting to see how the main character continues to develop personal relationships and handle puberty.
Anything RandomRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This is probably my favourite litrpg on this site, it's the first time I've been so interested in that I paid for Patreon (I'm at chapter 244 as of writing this review).
The style is pretty solid. Conversations are pretty believable, emotions come across well, and imo the worldbuilding is really good. There are some points where I think there needs to be more telling, so to speak, because when there's so many skills and magic concepts at play it can be hard to remember how they all work and the explanation is sometimes 50+ chapters behind. On the other hand that would make what some already criticize as a verbose story even longer so it's more likely a symptom of having read the story incrementally over more than a year.
My biggest actual gripe with the story is the futas and the author's insistence on referring to everyone with feminine pronouns; Alysara even addresses her dad as she. It sort of fades into the background after a while but every now and then the author will mention a girl's "large codpiece" and I just find it weird and jarring. Also, not really a serious complaint, but there's so much bathing. Every event revolves around bathing, including the weddings. If you thought Japanese light novels had too many bathhouse scenes, this novel might give them a run for their money.
The story is mostly carried by the system so far (it's moving into a more plot-heavy direction but the focus on magic remains), the system is very unique and the depth of the magic system/mana mechanics is incredible. It does a great job of making everything about magic feel deep and believable. I like how there's some stuff that works pretty unintuitively, like cursed skills and world messages, kinda like how scientific concepts in real life don't always work how you'd expect. There are a couple points that are left vague and kinda feel like "plot holes" in the system, but that's just me being nitpicky as someone who's been accused of being a rules lawyer in many DnD games.
The plot
SparkleTopRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
-- edit: It seems the grammar has been fixed, and the story is lovely. Im glad I gave it a second try!
Although from what I read, the story content is good, I couldn't get past the grammar. The author flips between present and past tense, often within the same paragraph or sentence, even. It was jarring and distracting from the story. It could get better later, but as it shows I couldn't get past only a couple chapters.
Logan HailRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I'm currently at ch.56 and I have no issues might change my rating hope it gets better cause most stories nowadays start interesting then ends bad fingers crossed if by ch.150 it still has my attention I might join the discord and maybe the patron fingers crossed hope it does not disappoint
MDMANNRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I'm enjoying the story.
It's a slower build than most, but does a good job exploring the system and maintaining tension. There's some good descriptions and characterisation.
A more slice of life story, with enough action that doesn't define the MCs life.
You'll love or hate it, but it's worth a look.
I dislike the cover art.
NonEdibleGarlicRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
"The Reincarnation of Alysara" has a great main character being a
great scholar of magic doing her best to get to greater and greater heights of magic
with the best magic system and system in general that i have read, 3 dimensional characters that are rememberable, unique and interesting cultures monsters and the very very strong beings
like dragons cursed beings and other legendary beings
actually feel very strong. a very recommended read that you will enjoy and remember fondly if you enjoy fantasy and magic stories, the only really bad thing i can think about in this story is that the first 3 to 5 chapters were boring to get through to me (though its understandable considering that she is a
baby and not a lot of interesting things can happen)
and also a lot of tiny issues that pile up after a long time but aside from that its my favorite story
FoxofsnofRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
It was love on first sigt. I read this book like i was starving. Even tho i only read the google translated version with some mistakes i still love it. I liked the chapters were you switched the perspective to let the readers see what the others think and do. I really hope that you continue writing in this style and especially this book.
I.M.P.Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
UPDATE- story definitely picking up again. So, we'll see about doing a better detailed review later, but once through the rough patches, its getting to be a strong story.
The rough patches were pretty rough, admittedly, and still not a fan of the events leading up to the several year time jump, but the story after that is something I've consistantly enjoyed, every chapter.
ShaggySchmackyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
This story takes worldbuilding and skill management to a whole new level. The magic mechanics interesting, progression feels reasonable even for a "prodigy" MC, and the writing is improving, especially after getting an editor (You can see a massive improvement from the revised prolog to the unedited chapter 2).
Now for some constructive (hopefully) criticism:
1. The MC hasn't made many friends or developed any relationships. In addition, character descriptions are lacking, to say the least. While the lack of character descriptions can be explained by the MC's blindness, the lack of relationships makes it difficult to relate to any character in the story and the characters feel relatively flat. This is (hopefully) being resolved in the latest arc where the MC realizes her lack of connections and (hopefully) begins to form stronger relationships with other characters.
2. Another issue is that I can't picture most of the characters in my mind. At the beginning of the story when the MC is completely blind, this is fine. However, the MC is now able to sense shape, color, and more with her sight. I have a decent image of the MC because the other characters mention her appearance semi-regularly. However, with the MC's improved sight, we should have some basic descriptions of characters by now. For example, I know Tana is more "boyish" than others in the MC's race, but what does that mean? Is he androgynous by human standards? How tall is he? I don't even know his hair or eye color. Because of this, when I read a character's name, I don't think about what they look like. I think, "oh hey, that one shoots arrows," or "isn't that one the gravity mage?".It'd probably be weird to include character descriptions in the story at this point, so I suggest making a character page with basic character descriptions. In addition, it is a good idea to add descriptions when a the MC meets a character again after a period of time or even during a fight scene. For example: "Esofy's green ha
SmabooRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
This is the magic science story most have been dreaming of and it does it wonderfully, most science magic stories are usually good but not great but this story does it masterfully i am infatuated with the way magic works, this story is a bit of slow burn which i enjoy, the only major thing thats meh is the characters, our mc feels like the center of the story, side characters dont get enough spotlight, all in all it deserves its rating and is a great example of magic science