The Potion Shop

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

“I am Sir Agandir of the house of Paltrinon, and I seek your aid in performing my quest.”“What quest will that be, my lord, Sir Agandir?”“Slaying the cursed beast that roams the skies of Wellos.”“I would gladly assist you, sir, but I am afraid slaying dragons was one of my weakest talents and it has decreased with age.”“Don’t play with me, old man!”

The knight leaned over the counter and grinned through his thick scruffy black beard.

“I NEED POTIONS!”

Information

Status
Completed
Year
2020
Author
Mircea Florea

Tags

SATIREFANTASYMAGICCOMEDYSHORT STORYHIGH FANTASYDUNGEON CRAWLER

Royal Road Stats

Rating
3.8/ 5.0
Followers
2
Views
538

Chapters(1 total)

Reviews

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Community Reviews(2)

  • Not_A_HatRoyal Road
    ★★★ 3.0
    The mechanics here are reasonable, but not perfect. The story does have paragraph breaks, but they're rather inconsistent; most descriptive paragraphs have them, but dialogue doesn't. This story uses ALL CAPS for emphasis in some places, which... I mean, it's not the worst? Italics feel more professional to me, but ALL CAPS should convey the right meaning, especially for modern netizens.
    Style is fair, but felt off at times. The characters, for the most part, speak in a fairly formal, slightly archaic, voice, but there were a few instances where they slipped in more casual, modern words or phrases, which was a bit jarring. There's also a sort of 'detail bloat' going on, such as specifying the shopkeepers chair is oak. It doesn't really matter to the story if his chair is oak, and although it does help the setting a bit, I'm not sure it helps it enough to warrant being so specific about something so trivial. I saw a bit of repetition, too; that chair being oak is specifically mentioned twice, rather close together. If mentioning it once probably isn't useful, mentioning it twice definitely isn't.
    Plot, eh... this story doesn't really have one. It's a short, absurd comedy, where the knight plays the straight man and the 'potion shop' owner keeps humorously giving him useless products. I'll admit I snerked at the end, but I'll also say that the first and second interactions (fire resistance/stoneskin) felt so similar it seemed like telling the same joke twice. I kinda expected more of the same from the last one, but was glad it was different.
    I do think having an actual plot is useful for most stories. I'm not sure I should lower the score for not having one, but in general, I feel like having the jokes + some plot would be better than the jokes by themselves, as we have here.
    All in all, this isn't a standout or anything, but if I'd picked it off the front page, I wouldn't have felt like it was a waste of my time. It being short helps with that, though.
  • RznRoyal Road
    ★★★ 3.0
    A classic bit redone as a potions shop. Various incarnations of this exist but I do like this one because it lends a lot more credence to the bit than other takes, that being said because it relies on being drawn out it does get old pretty quick once you catch on. The interactions are fine, there is no point in going into much of the characterization since this is a comedy skit. It was nice at least, but not really memorable.