The Parallel Timeline: Time Loop Rebel

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

This story can now be found here:

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/46399/parallel-timeline-time-loop-rebel

Information

Status
Hiatus
Year
2020
Author
Wilberforce

Tags

LITRPGACTIONFANTASYMAGICSCHOOL LIFESTRONG LEADPORTAL FANTASY / ISEKAIMYSTERYHIGH FANTASYSTRATEGYTIME TRAVELTIME LOOP

Royal Road Stats

Rating
4.2/ 5.0
Followers
258
Views
65,234

Chapters(41 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(10)

  • HashBrownRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    TPT : TLR or rather The Parallel Timeline : Time Loop Rebel is a fiction that focuses on the MC Gaus as he finds himself in a new world called Multiverse with a magiwatch that lets him go back in time. The story is both interesting and hooking as you find youself reading chapters after chapters to know the answers behind the mystery of the time loop that Gaus experiences.
    Style: 5/5
    A third person perspective style that doesn't feel heavy to read. other stories suffer from too much information overload in the early chapters and you won't feel it here. The worldbuilding was easy to follow and though the pacing was slow, the story was still an interesting read. 5 stars.
    Grammar: 5/5
    Didn't notice much of an issue regarding the use of english grammar. The dialogues and scenes were well-written so 5 stars.
    Story: 5/5
    The story is interesting. Even though the first chapters got dedicated in worldbuilding, it didn't come to me as boring. Especially the fact that...
    Spoiler: Spoiler
    the story always loop back to Tuesday. The scenes were still refreshing to read and it's fun to follow Gau's adventures and hardships as he tries his best to break the loop with the little information he have. You'll find yourself wanting to know what's next at the end of a chapter with a cliffhanger, like who the heck is the other time travel? Tyren? No. Wait, he is? No. And there are loopers now?
    In short, the mystery of the story will make you read more chapters and look forward to the next one.
    Character: 4.5/5
    I didn't give a perfect score here because there's still a room for improvement in Gaus character and the others. It's still in the early parts so I'm looking forward to the character development but as of now, it's 4.5 star for me.
    Overall, I'll still rate this story a 5 star. It's interesting and hooking so I recommend reading it!
  • BTI PennerRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    Getting stuck reliving the same day in a 1980s police state isn't my idea of fun, but Wilberforce paints a vividly colorful world to get stuck in. On top of that is the even stranger and exotic Multiverse, the isekai parallel world Gaus, our everyman, finds himself transported to.
    The story is written in a clean style that never left me wondering what was going on. I felt drawn along with the plot.
    My only quibble: Gaus is supposed to be from the '80s but he talks about euros which is an anachronism. Euros became a currency in 1995. It's far from being a deal-breaker though.
  • C.R. McmahonRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    I have to preface this review by saying I love the movie groundhog day, and Edge of tomorrow, so I went in with high expectations. These expectations were well met.
    First of all wicked cool name for the MC. The first chapter is vivid, and interesting. The time travel concept is very intriguing. I found my usual struggle with the start of most stories refreshingly absent. There was no overload of new characters, or a cramming of world building.
    The descriptions of the enviorment, and people are fantastic as well. I love how straight forward the time changing is.
    With every rewind I found myself more, and more into this story.
    All of chapter two sucked me in so completely I am having trouble putting notes to it. The third chapter was much of the same. Although long, if you prepare yourself knowing how long the chapters will be they are great.
    I heavily recomend reading this. I am for sure hitting the follow button after posting this review.
  • Jupiter MaximusRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 5.0
    I think this is my lucky week, because, since I caught up with the Mother of learning, I have been searching for stories with time looping element. But had no luck until this week. In this one week itself, I came across two stories with the Time loop element (this being one of them) and am waiting to see how these two stories are going to progress.
    Grammar and style: The author has a good grasp of the language ( I don't know whether English is his native language or not) and is error-free to my knowledge. And the writing style is also pretty engaging.
    Story Score: The plot is not yet fully developed and hence it will be premature to say anything. Even so, I felt it is quite promising that is why I gave it a 4.5 rating with a margin of error. (will re-write the review once the plot is developed further)
    Character Score: Not many characters have been introduced yet. But the MC is well presented. The 4.5 rating is because of the same reason why I gave a 4.5 rating to the story score, and not because the story or the character is lacking something. (will re-write the review once the plot is developed further)
  • MrBadWithNamesRoyal Road
    ★★★★★ 4.5
    The Parallel Timeline: Time Loop Rebel is a fun fantasy / time-travel story with elements of mystery and RPG mechanics.
    Overall - 4.5/5
    Overall, I think you should give this story a read, if you ever read the mother of learning here on RR, you might be happy to know that the story has simmilar vibes at times.
    Style - 5/5, The story is written well, grids are used to display some info and generall keep things readable, my only issue with how the story is written is how something you have to read over a 1:1 copy of something that happened before, but since this is a time-travel story, that's to be expected so I won't dock it any points for that!
    Grammar - 5/5,
    No complains here, the grammar is gread, I haven't seen a single spelling / grammar mistake while reading up to the lastes chapter as of now.
    Story 4.5/5 - I had a feeling I had a good grasp of the story, though as of the lastest few chapters and some developments relating to the MC's ability, I can't be sure.
    Either way, the story is great, I just don't know if we're going for a MC-against-the-world-in-a-time-loop or MC-in-a-magic-academy kinda vibe.
    Characters - 4.5/5
    As usual with time-loop stories, you'll often go over charact interations, it really gets you many chances to see more of some chracters and I really like that about this story.
    The MC of this story is definitely unique, he feels like a rational person, you'll see what I mean in the first chapter or two, he's hardly ever the stupid-protaganist who takes forever to figure out his power.
    In conclusion this story uses time-travel effectively in my opnion, I'm looking forward to some more character development!
  • TheWitchOfTheRockRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 4.0
    This story starts off slow, but it's got  some good worldbuilding, and it's easy to read.  I'm curious  to get more details of the world we're in.
    My biggest critique is that the author tells too much. Not necessarily description, but potentially telling us things that we would have known, and  affect the flow when put into words.
    Still! Good story! Give it a chance, and enjoy the world. I look forward to more details about this strange multiverse.
  • Justin KRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 4.0
    So far, it has a good premise. I wonder what kinds of skills the watch has besides time reversal. I also like how he'll become OP, though I hope the entire story doesn't take place on the same day. Reminds me a little of Re:Zero
  • AnthraxRippleRoyal Road
    ★★★★ 3.5
    An unfortunate milk vendor has been teleported to a strange new world filled with magic and an everpresent system. Oh, and he's stuck in a timeloop. There's a lot going on with this story and these disparate systems slam together to create a nitro-fueled journey through a strange new world.
    Where it Excels:
    Imaginative Setting: The setting here is really fascinating. It has a distinct culture that is hinted through a myriad of small details, but it still manages to feel surreal and alien. This is especially evident in the earlier chapters where a lot of thought is put into incidental descriptions that reveal volumes.
    Inventive Everything: I can honestly say that I've never seen this particular genre cocktail before. All of the disparate parts mesh pretty well. The system is nonstandard and is well integrated into the setting. The timeloop allows the audience to explore the mysteries of the system, and the isekai element allows everything to feel as strange to the main character as it does to the audience.
    Critiques:
    Redundancy: Time loop stories have more pitfalls than traditional narratives. Several scenes throughout the fiction get repeated wholesale. Unless you are trying to specifically emphasize something, such as the beginning of the loop, it is best to avoid redundant phrases. They don't add any new information and often don't need to be emphasized.
    Pacing: As much as I love the setting and premise, the story is too fast paced. Important story events are placed back to back to back, with almost no time for transition. The audience barely has a chance to breathe between events. This also hurts the integrity of the setting and premise as important details are glossed over in a handful of paragraphs. The earlier chapters are better about this, creating a natural ebb and flow of events and smaller scaler revelations.
    4th Wall Breaks(Minor): Sentences that begin with "In case you were wondering" or "Well, you see" (outside of dialogue or inner monologue) engage di
  • Dark IntelligenceRoyal Road
    ★★ 1.5
    So up to chapter 8, The MC is stuck in a time loop that restarts at 3 am (every 24 hours the day repeats). MC can rewind time inbetween the loop at the cost of 4mana per second at 300mana total capacity.
    Now, by around like chapter 5, he discovers he's not in the loop by himself. By chapter 8 a group of time loopers find and hunt him down. And it's noted that he's been found since like chapter 2 and that they've been keeping him on lockdown the entire time.
    Like... No... just no... This LN involves  Multiverses. MC is in a world that is in holiday that has different universes coming together for a religous event. And of the TRILLIONS  of people in this city, MC runs into a time looper and gets shut down by chapter 8. NOPE, just NOPE. Not possible.
  • GeraldRoyal Road
    ★ 1.0
    The Grammar is excellent.
    The story and style is ok.
    Anyway, the repeatation is irritating. Can you do something about those copy/paste lines every time loop? I can't do more than ch7 anymore. I'm going to be crazy by just reading those copy/paste lines.