The Notebook Trials

Information

Status

Hiatus

Author

HouseOfUkiro

Reviews

Community Reviews(5)

• T. H. WattsRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  The Notebook Trials tells the story of Higuchi Shuji a dissatisfied average guy, and proofreader of short stories. He’s a recluse with an internet connection lurking on various platforms, when he receives an unusual invite to a forum…
  This sets up what I guess will be the thrust of the story The Notebook Trials, where Shuji is invited to participate in a series of trials, which offer rewards beyond his imagination, but also come with the ever-present threat of danger.
  If he is to participate, he will have to continue using the Notebook every three days or be hunted down by Enforcers.
  Currently, the story has only one chapter, so difficult to know exactly how this will develop, but there is plenty of potential for a series of exciting and dangerous adventures to come. Could hypothetically end the chapter on more of a tease of what’s to come, or whether he’s likely to accept the challenge.
  I also think there are earlier opportunities to build the mystery, specifically when discussing the forum that leads to the notebook trials.
  Overall, the story is in an early stage and look forward to seeing how the writer develops the story going forward. Good luck with it!
• emexoRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  Even though currently it's only one very short chapter, I'm already so intrigued by the premise and concept of the story!
  The whole powerful notebook premise and fast thinking protagonists makes me think of Death Note, but this story captures the dynamic in a different yet charming way. I'm super curious to see where it goes!
  The way the author set up the conversation between Shuji and the "AI", paired with the small inconsistencies the MC notices was really compelling. It had me asking so many questions like: why is there only 1 active user? What is this AI? What does the active user number at the end of the story mean?? I have so many questions, but so little answers!
  And yes, the biggest flaw then would be that this story only has 1 chapter. Because it is so short, it's kind of hard to rate all these areas in more depth. Like there was story, there was some small witty moments of exposition for the characters, but it's simply too small of a snippet to definitively say anything. But even so, I can feel that there is potential here for an amazing story!
  I really hope the author will post another chapter one day! And hopefully then I can leave a more detailed review!
• JT MystRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  First of all, this is pretty short and I'd like to have read some more before judging it. The concept of asking for somethng through an app which will test and grade you before giving it to you leaves a lot of room open for its characters to use intelligence and strategy, which will be awesome if used right.
  I found the large number of paragraphs, even during a relatively short speech, a little jarring. Whether it's RR's content editor that broke the format or if it was intended, I don't know, but it's a bit off-putting and difficult to see who's doing the talking or if its narrative at certain point.
  Shuji isn't getting much development in this chapter and besides the narrative telling us about his averageness, we just know his job and his living arrangement. This would probably be helped with some introspection before simply accepting the AI's words. Again, more chapters would probably fix this and a second chapter should probably focus a bit more on who he is as a person.
  If you continue this story, I'd like to read a bit more of it to get a stronger sense of character and story. Good job!
• ConwayRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  I found it absolutely hilarious that you posted this requesting review trades and your protagonist is a proofreader/reviewer for some "short story websites."
  In terms of the content, it is a little short to get much of an idea for the story but the premise clearly leaves room for a lot of options. Seems to me very in line with the solo levelling system which clearly allows for a lot of authorial choice.
  I think grammar or maybe syntax wise your story might benefit from a second sweep, I'd suggest reading it aloud to yourself if you haven't, it can help you identify awkwardly worded sentences.  Personally I struggled a little to track the AI's speech, It may have been easier for me to keep track of the Ai's speech as opposed to narration with some format editing? Maybe some italics?  just something to consider.
  Also just an editing suggestion, at one point you used the word connote, I looked it up and it seems technically correct but I've never heard the word before. I wonder if maybe you were thinking denote? Might just be my own ignorance.
  Anyway overall I liked it and I think your protagonist could have a good dynamic with the "AI" assuming they remain together.
  A quick, snappy attention grabbing opening. I wish you luck, I think you have a good foundation to build on if you return to writing it.
• The Writer MeaRoyal Road

  ★★★ 3.0

  First of all, I would like to say that this story has a terrible problem. It is too short. I am aware of the existence of short stories, but this story was not written to be a short story. I do not understand why the author only wrote 1 chapter, left the story halfway and asked for a review swap on top of it. Maybe it is a tactic I do not know or something else, but these do not concern me. The only thing that concerns me is the story, and the truth is that this story is too short to include enough characters in it. And not only that. Even the grammar problems in it are excessive. Incomprehensible. I do not want to destroy the inspiration the author found in it to write the story, but even this chapter should be rewritten. And not only because of the grammar. The style is not fluid enough. The character giving his identity as if it were a job interview, etc...
  This novel is too short to do any character development, and only the story stands out a little more than the others. Despite this, I do not think that the story is enough to save this entire abandoned 1-chapter story. It needs more attention, and it should also be noted that AI is not yet advanced enough to write an original story. AI is not very good at evaluating Stories either. The human mind still does a better job with these kinds of creative things. I don't want to discourage the writer from writing, but it's not like he'll write even if I don't do anything.