The Lost Journals Book 1: Ashes Of Hope

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2023

Author

First_Page

• Chapter 8
  Dec 23, 2023
• Chapter 7
  Dec 4, 2023
• Chapter 6
  Dec 4, 2023
• Chapter 5
  Dec 4, 2023
• Chapter 4
  Dec 4, 2023
• Chapter 3
  Dec 4, 2023
• Chapter 2
  Dec 4, 2023
• Chapter 1
  Dec 4, 2023
• Prologue
  Dec 4, 2023

Reviews

Community Reviews(1)

• GoldSphereRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 4.0

  An interesting story under a layer of overly verbose and eloquent writing.
  Story:
  After the prologue we meet the two main characters in the middle of dungeon diving, facing almost insurmountable odds.
  Most of the story so far us used to touch upon the relationship between the two while they are getting clobbered by the dungeon, repeatedly.
  The fights are engaging and their love for each other is obvious, but I think the story would have been well served giving us some time to meet them in another setting first.
  When we reach the next part of the story it seems to pick itself up, and I'm hoping it continues to impress.
  Style:
  My main problem, there are too many words used for too little action, and they are overly eloquent.
  For example: "Yuri, with practiced finesse, placed a piece of coal within the gentle embrace of the creature, guiding it to the perfect temperature for her culinary pursuits. The harmonious fusion of her magic with the elemental essence of the creature set the stage for an exquisite culinary canvas."
  Too many words for too little action, too long words for "making food". And this is the case for the entire story, making it a burden to read.
  "She went to the kitchen in order to prepare breakfast," is fine, and so much easier to read.
  Grammar:
  Not many problems here. I found a few mistakes but I suggested corrections, so they might be gone by now.
  Characters:
  We only really have two, but they both feel unique and well written, each with distinct personalities.
  Their love for each other is obvious, and they don't shy away from flirting (especially Yuri) when the opportunity arises.
  The repeated near death injuries might cheapen similar circumstances in the future, but it's an efficient way to show us the deep love they feel for each other.
  Overall, as it gets more meat on its bones the story might really become interesting. I'm intrigued by the little we've seen of the world so far, and hoping the trend continues.
  4/5