The Longshadow of Jera (Sanguine)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

Alone and fleeing a savage killer, Zahra is willing to do anything just to stay alive. Stumbling into the clutches of a murderous alchemist, she’s desperate enough to accept his brutal training. Under his guidance, she learns how to pick a lock, blind an enemy from twenty paces, and how to cook a pretty mean baked potato. But as her skills grow, so do the dangers surrounding her.

Growing up in the gutters of Vesper, the City of Spires seemed mere legend. A land of plenty, of possibility, a safe haven where Empire sorcerers spin dreams into fate. But alchemists tinker with the devourer, ever-plotting a way to topple the One-Eyed King, and Zahra soon finds that the only freedom given to outsiders is the freedom to drown in sewer water, or to be skull-cracked by an Empire enforcer. Here, survival isn’t just a struggle - it’s a battle against a system rigged against people like her.

But soon Zahra’s no longer just a desperate street rat. She’s learning, evolving, and discovering she’s been a pawn in a much larger game. And with the right moves, even a pawn can change the board.

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2024
Author: CRHelix

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.8/ 5.0
Followers: 6
Views: 1,676

Chapters(8 total)

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(5)

Burak1001Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
It started great and hope it will continue to get better. The character progression is quickly becoming my favorite. Zahra as a character has great potential to become a riveting protagonist, just can't wait to see if she will become the heroine or villainess.
It's impossible to dislike where this is going. The author doesn't waste your time, nor do they deprive you the stylistic narrative. It's the perfect balance between narration and textuality. I love how the world they have built is gradually being revealed. The particulars they have chosen stimulate me into a certain theme rich in creativity - it inspires mine. It's almost like having a pristine blend of colors in your mind when I'm reading this writer.
DesirRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Overall:
"Zero Hour" is an intriguing tale that draws readers in with a strong emotional current and an engaging storyline. It takes readers on a journey of loss, survival, and an unexpected encounter that promises a deeper connection to a mystical world. From the moment we are introduced to Zahra and her tragic circumstances, the narrative grips us, and the balance between emotional depth and suspense is masterfully executed. The chapter ends with enough tension and mystery to leave readers curious for what comes next, setting the stage for a compelling story.
Grammar:
The grammar throughout the chapter is solid, with only minor issues that do not detract from the story. The punctuation is appropriately placed, and sentence structures are varied, which keeps the narrative flowing smoothly. The use of dialogue feels natural and well punctuated, creating a believable and immersive reading experience. Minor improvements could be made to avoid some repetitive phrases, but overall, the writing is clean and effective.
Story:
The story introduces an intense world full of corruption, loss, and survival. Zahra’s grief over her brother’s death sets the emotional tone, and the dangers she faces afterward amplify the tension. The lore of Vesper and the Maulers gives the story depth, and the introduction of the mysterious shrine hints at a larger world of magic or ancient forces. The pace is well managed, gradually unfolding Zahra's backstory while building suspense and danger with each scene.
Character:
Zahra is an empathetic and relatable character. Her love for her brother, her grief, and her desperate will to survive make her someone readers will root for. The antagonist, a Mauler thug, is menacing, while Omir, introduced later, adds an air of mystery and moral ambiguity. Each character is distinct and believable, with Zahra standing out as a well-developed protagonist whose vulnerability makes her both strong and relatable.
Style:
The author’s writing style is immersive an
LemanceRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Stories of children having to adapt to the harsh environment they're placed in is a tale that a lot of us have been familiarized with in some shape or form, and yet they have that certain thing that keeps us drawn to them. And that is seeing those characters being forced to grow up. It is a tough thing to see, and yet seeing them beating the odds and becoming competent characters fills us with a special kind of satisfaction.
This story embraces this type of storytelling, and it does it well. We follow the young Zhara, who lost tragically lost everything, safe for her life. In her lowest point in life, she encounters the seasoned traveler and alchemist Omir. He takes her under his wings as she resolves to become a person capable of taking care of herself and rebelling against the people, the system and the world that dealt her the cards she was given in life. That is why her encounter with Omir is a significant part of the story that shaped her journey moving forward. The author does a great job at writing him as the mentor that Zhara requires. If Omir doesn't come across as a competent character who knows the ins and outs of their world, the story could fall apart. Their relationship and interaction are thus enjoyable to read. The world itself is very interesting with a lot of potential for world building as it seems to have a rich history lying beneath.
Overall, I think this story is great. If any of this sounded remotely interesting, I trust you to have a good time reading it.
longwindedone1Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This review comes after reading chapter 6 of The Longshadow of Jera. I apologize for any spoilers.
Story:
The story follows Zahra as the MC. She is a young girl who flees the corrupt city of Vesper after her brother is murdered by a gang called the Maulers. She meets Omir, who takes her under his wing and teaches her how to survive in a dangerous world. As they journey together, Zahra is forced to make some brutal choices necessary to survive, but she grapples with the loss of her brother and her changing morality. This is a new story, but I see great promise in it. The beginning is compelling and easy to get into. Nicely done.
Style:
The tone of this story is pretty gritty. The world itself is fairly unforgiving, or at least seems to be. Zahra is basically in survival mode the whole story. There are ruthless people and the ones that aren't seem to have to make ruthless decisions. The point of view is written, so far, from third person pov. It mostly follows Zahra's experiences and doesn't really delve too far off of that track unless she is wondering about the other people in the story. I happen to like this style of narration. It could very easily have been first person, like my story.
Grammar:
I tend to consume all of my royal road content, and heck even my other content via the audio format. I do this on RR through the app. There is an audio component there that reads you the stories in a AI voice. That said, I don't tend to pick up on grammar and punctuation errors. Still, I was not taken out of the story at all during my listening experience.
Characters:
Of course there is Zahra and Omir. But there is also Zahra's brother and the Maulers (kinda). There is a bounty hunter, the nobleman who they were going to rob, and merchant couple in the first 6 chapters. I tend to like moral dilemmas, so I think my favorite scene was the one, not necessarily between characters, but between Zahra and herself. The one where she is struggling with the caravan heist is cool.
Ove
profpdduvallRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
Style: 4/5
The style of The Longshadow of Jera Sanguine is rich and immersive, with vivid imagery that sets a dark and atmospheric tone from the outset. The descriptions of Zahra's world and her emotions are well-crafted, allowing the reader to feel the weight of her grief and the danger surrounding her. Occasionally, the prose can feel a bit dense, with certain sections lingering on description, which may slow the pacing. A slight tightening of the writing would make the flow more seamless without losing its intensity.
Story: 4/5
The story is engaging, with a strong premise built around Zahra's personal loss and the challenges she faces in a corrupt and dangerous world. The stakes are high, and there is a constant sense of urgency that drives the plot forward. The pacing works well for the most part, though certain scenes could benefit from either more context or quicker progression to maintain momentum. That said, the narrative is compelling, and the plot twists add depth to the overall arc.
Character Development: 4.5/5
Zahra is a well-rounded character, and her transformation is believable and emotionally resonant. Her relationship with her mentor, Omir, is one of the highlights of the story, providing tension and complexity. Zahra's motivations are clear and relatable, making her a character readers can root for. Omir's guidance helps shape her, though there are moments where her internal struggles could be explored even more deeply. Nonetheless, the character development is one of the strongest aspects of the narrative.
Grammar and Mechanics: 4.5/5
The grammar and mechanics are well-handled, with clean writing and minimal errors. Dialogue flows naturally for the most part, and the language suits the tone of the story. There are a few instances where sentence structures could be simplified to improve clarity, but overall, the technical aspects of the writing are solid and contribute positively to the reading experience.
Overall Impression: 4/5
The Longshadow of