The Life and (Un)Death of a Dark Elf

Information

Status

Hiatus

Year

2019

Author

Metody Aleksov

• Chapter 0.6
  Mar 15, 2019
• Chapter 0.5
  Mar 10, 2019
• Chapter 0.4 – “Heroes”
  Mar 8, 2019
• Chapter 0.3 - Dream
  Mar 3, 2019
• Chapter 0.2 - Habrion
  Mar 2, 2019
• Chapter 0.1 - First Encounter
  Mar 1, 2019

Reviews

Community Reviews(1)

• OrnefinRoyal Road

  ★★★★ 3.5

  I will start with the description of the novel. It does not say much about the story, so I suggest you write a bit more. There are also typos in it:
  A Dark Elf named Rikdah Dinorin who was exiled from his HOMELAND now journeys to unknowN land trying to establish a new life.
  Story
  The novel itself is not very bad, but I have to say about 2 main mistakes:
  1. Show, Don't Tell
  As Ral on the forum has already said, you need to write how the emotions are affecting the character, instead of just naming and writing them. Don't use unnesessary "emotion explaining" words like 'tired' or 'sleepy', instead of that you can write the physical reaction of feeling that way.
  2. Sentences
  Some sentences are simply too long or unclear, for example:
  Slowly walked towards the exit of the Guild with determination he seemed to have accepted the outrageous proposal of the Asimar though Rikdah wasn’t willing to risk his own life for a village he had no connection to with frustration he said
  After reading it a couple of times I still can't understand what you meant. But if you divide this sentence into parts, it becomes more understandable and easier to read:
  He slowly walked towards the exit of the Guild with determination because he accepted the outrageous proposal of the Asimar. Rikdah wasn’t willing to risk his own life for a village he had no connection with, so with anger in his voice frustration he said...
  I know it is not perfect (I can not write very well myself) but you should get the idea.
  The story itself is not very bad, but you should work on things that I mentioned.