The Last Topaz

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

The story of two interlacing characters, Vivian and Lynn, studying at a prestigious library that overlooks an abandoned city of secrets. One, a Natural Mystic and gifted everything. The other, half a corpse struggling for vengeance.

Information

Status: Completed
Year: 2020
Author: DisheveledVagabond

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.6/ 5.0
Followers: 40
Views: 23,620

Reviews

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Community Reviews(6)

HarrisoneCalzoneRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
So far well written, especially in the grammer department:
Style - slightly edgy at times but the basis of good writing is there
Grammar - strong, especially for this website
Story - Has potential intersted in seeing where it goes
Character Score - Almost there, again a slight bit of unecessary edginess
Overall, I have been enjoying this novel. It stands out against a lot of new fiction on this site due to its really good grammar that makes it easy to read. Looking forward to future chapters and seeing where this one goes!
Jolenes_Bizzarre_AvdentureRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story is definitely a cut above the rest of what I read on this site. A lot of stories seem like wish fulfillment of some sort. That's fine, but this story seems to have a clear message that it's trying to convey through it's character development. I think it could honestly be published with a few more rewrites. The grammar is excellent and the character development is exceptional. Give it the first 7 chapters and you'll be hooked.
JollyRancherRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
Interesting premise. Magic doesn't feel too over the top but feels present and powerful. It's a good balance that I think gets put way too far on one scale or the other. Unfortunately, I feel like the story is wrapping up which makes me bummed. hopefully it's just the end of the first arc. (spoiler) they mention another continient across the ocean so maybe they will go there after finishing up at the library.
I may change this review later but so far the grammar has been unnoticibly good. I saw someone commented a few things in the first few chapters but the author must have changed them already.
Story is interesting enough to keep me reading more which is all that I ask for.
Characters seem realistic enough. maybe one or two feel a bit two dimentional but i'm willing to forgive that so long as theyre interesting
i never know how to grade 'style' so I always just give five stars on it. maybe it's supposed to be about the words he uses or something but I dont get it. I guess the piece is stylish or whatever.
The writer hasn't updated in a few weeks now, I'm hoping he gets back to it soon. Last thing I need is another halfway finished novel that's forever on hiates..
brady1616Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I was not expecting much from the story when I first started reading it until I got about half way into it..... absolutly remarkable, the amount of detail and character building there is from the begginging to the end is the type of detail you can only fine in a true author. Bold, strong, revolutionary.
IncognitoQuestgiverRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
I actually really enjoyed the story. It wasn't copy paste frrom every other story on RR. It had an original take. But I didn't love the six month hiatas. I started it around the time I first began rreading on RR and before I learned my lesson with hiatas. That's my style deduction there. If it hadn't taken an entire year for 30 chapters, itd be five stars. The writing itself was fine. I'd probaby read another story by the author but I would wait till its finished this time. The grammar was fine. I noticed one orr two things but not really anything important. Never took me out of the story more than a hiccup would. The characters served their roles. Lynn was better than vivian. He felt like his backstory drove the plot more and had more modivation. But she was fine I guess. Overall, I liked the story now that it's finally finished. I'd recommend it. It's not verry long. Wish it was longer but I'm glad I don't have to wait around in land of hiatas too. She mentioned at the end that she originally meant there to be a sequel. This stands on its own well enough. But if she writes a sequel I am gonna wait till its finished.
ArxRoyal Road
★★★★ 3.5
The main thrust of my review is really covered by the title. I read the story and I enjoyed it. I appreciate the fact that the setting exists and is largely coherent, but without the story chewing on the scenery so the author can exposit world building information at the reader. It's a story that happens to be in a world, not a world that happens to contain a story, and I think that's an important priority to have straight.
That said, some details of the world could use some hammering and did have me scratching my head a bit -- why is there a fishing fleet if it can't usually work? Little second-order oddities. They're not severe enough to ruin anything, but they can be jarring.
The voice is fairly generic, which is good and bad. On the good side, it's not obnoxious and conveys all that needs to be conveyed without straying too far into the flower beds; on the other hand, it does mean that I had the feeling of "reading a story on Royal Road", where some stories can grip me in the first paragraph on voice alone. I think some intentional work with a good editor or writing group would probably help elevate it from from slightly painfully generic to the kind of fluid style that slips by in the background, letting the story take the limelight.
Grammar is the single largest failing here, and when I say "needs polish", this is the low-hanging fruit. Nothing is actually incoherent, which is a good start, and I only spotted a handful of tense confusions, which is a good continuation, but that is just about where it stops. The Three (? Maybe) Horsemen of Royal Road Grammar are in attendance: homophone replacements ("insight" instead of "incite", for example); their more malicious companion, malapropisms; and the ubiquitous comma splice. Cleaning up those errors would easily bring this up to a solid 4.5 stars, I'd think.
Having complained a lot, here is the pleasant part: I called it a good story, and I stand by that. It's not immensely groundbreaking, I'd say, but it avoids r