The Last Sin [DRAFT]

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

NOTE: This is the a draft. The revised version can be foundHERE.

An unsuspecting orphan was given a choice: a short life or a long death. Jacob chose death.

Jacob was happy living on the streets until hunters targeted him and his friends. He is saved by a woman named Sin and begins a journey to master her unique style of martial arts, magic and spycraft. Under her tutelage, he excels until a mysterious fire destroys his new home, leaving him the main suspect for the crime. To maintain his freedom, Jacob joins a group of veteran adventurers to lift a curse poisoning the land. Unfortunately, this quest puts them in the middle of a century-long conflict between their homeland and their homeland's greatest enemy. When Jacob uncovers a conspiracy that threatens both nations, he must face off against his former master, end the century-long war and use every trick he has ever learned to stay one step ahead of his enemies.

What to Expect:Brandon Sanderson meets James Bond.

- High Fantasy setting- Slow progression tied to character development- A plotline full of mystery, suspense, foreshadowing, and twists- A character driven story that balances plot, action, and relationships- Unique magic systems deeply tied to the worldbuilding, and themes

Release Schedule:

My goal is to release new chapters in the morning (~11:00AM Mountain Time) on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Some weeks, I may release more chapters depending on how I break up what I wrote that week (weekly target: 7,000 words). To me, finding the natural breaks in the story is more important than a consistent chapter length. Trust the process.

Information

Status: Cancelled
Year: 2024
Author: J. W. Weld

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.2/ 5.0
Followers: 67
Views: 24,558

Reviews

No reviews yet. Be the first to share your thoughts!

Community Reviews(4)

A. StargazerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
This story packs a punch! Right from the beginning, the stakes are high, and although things slow down as the MC begins to train and develop his skills, the twist as he enters adulthood ratchets the tension straight back up.
I won't spoil the story, but so far it's a banger. Some of the lines in it really punch you in the gut. "We were best friends," right in the first chapter, was particularly powerful.
The one area that I felt could be improved is the time skip could have been handled better. Perhaps a few scenes during the time skip, spaced a few years apart, could both lessen the suddenness of the MC becoming an adult and give greater insight into his character and motivations.
Otherwise, the writing is top notch, in my humble opinion. There were no grammatical issues that I saw, and the author's style is quite enjoyable. Written in the first person, the style does a good job of giving a mental picture without overloading you with adjectives. It's easy to read while being enjoyable and making you think.
The story itself is in the early stages, having just concluded the introduction at chapter 12. It will be very interesting to see where the author takes it from here. Will the MC seek out revenge? Will they turn themselves into a vigilante, righting the crimes of the sort which he was once a victim? Will he follow in his master's footsteps, willingly or not? So much storytelling potential for this character and story.
As for the characters, as is often the case with a first person story, the main character is extremely well fleshed out while the side characters are on the periphery of the story, for the most part. That's not a flaw, it's just the way that first person stories tend to be. It's hard to examine the characters of everyone in the narrative when you're stuck in the head of just one of them. Still, full marks for me because the MC is so strong and while I do feel that some of the side characters could have been fleshed out, that's mostly
S.D. HussRoyal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
I am very happy that I picked this story up.
I want to start with the level of quality and care the author puts into his work is really top notch.
Style: The Author’s style so far, is smooth and easy to read. There is a clear view into Jacob’s head as he undergoes hardship, safety, and tragedy. The book is written in first person, which is often difficult because it gives the reader less of a broad picture of the protagonist’s experiences (in my opinion). The author doesn’t run into any of those issues in this book. Each segment and chapter is well fleshed out and I often was so immersed I was surprised by the chapter’s end.
Story: The story so far is quite interesting. The main character, Jacob, is an orphan, who is picked on because of his elven heritage, and finds himself a victim of a mysterious noble who’s chasing him. I won’t spoil too much, as this story requires the reader to think, and pick up on subtle bread crumbs sprinkled through each chapter. The introduction of characters is done well, also. The house staff, the twins, and of course Lady Sin. The romance is done very well too. Not so on the nose, but subtle and pleasant to read.
Grammar: There isn’t much to say about this; everything seemed fine. Nothing glaring out at me; then again, I am not an editor, and I often find myself the victim of grammatical issues.
Characters: The book shines with its characters. I was able to clearly picture each of them, who have distinct personalities and quirks. The difference between Cynthia and Cindra is a good example. Twins, but both opposites personality wise.
Overall: I think this book is a fantastic fantasy novel so far. Anything that keeps me going through chapters with little effort. Keeps me guessing or theorizing, is a big win for me. I look forward to continuing this book!
RetsuRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Story: The story is compelling, offering a dark and intriguing narrative that keeps readers engaged with its blend of horror and psychological tension. The themes of fear, power, and identity are well-explored, adding depth to the plot. The author could work some more on the pacing and suspense, giving the readers more time to get to know the characters, it's not that big of an issue though.
Style: The writing style is immersive, effectively setting a haunting and atmospheric tone. Jacob's pov enhances the tension, while natural dialogue brings authenticity to the characters and their interactions. The style pulls readers into a vividly dark world.
Grammar: Grammar is spot-on, with no major issues to disrupt the reading experience. The text is clean and polished, allowing the story and characters to shine without distraction.
Characters: The characters are richly developed and intriguing. Jacob's transformation is portrayed with emotional depth, and Lady Sin’s blend of menace and mentorship adds layers to the narrative. The secondary characters, including Cynthia, Mr. Reeves, or Mrs. Dulldrey, add complexity and realism to the narrative. Each character’s motivations and backgrounds are well-developed, making their interactions and conflicts feel authentic and engaging.
Overall: Overall, the work is a compelling read with a strong narrative, immersive style, and well-developed characters. The intensity of the themes and the dark, psychological elements may not be for everyone, but if you enjoy a deep and engaging story, this definitely is for you!
Also, why did you have to kill Cynthia ╥﹏╥
The CommentatorRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
This is part of a review swap, but I was already reading the story before participating in it. So this is my honest opinion. Ok, with that disclaimer out of the way, let us begin.
Style and Grammar. They were both pretty solid for a Royal Road level. Nothing truly spectacular, but nothing horrible either.
Story. It’s still in its infancy, but is looking very good right now. The plot seems a bit contrived, but I don’t know the characters or the world well enough right now to say if that’s intentional or not. This is kinda a mystery story, after all, and these kinds of things tend to get explained in time.
Characters. They are all pretty realistic. The side characters were well developed enough that I actually cared a bit about what happens to them. The main character, in my eyes, is very likeable, and it’s easy to get in his head, and understand the decisions he makes. And those decisions themselves are pretty realistic. I feel like if a real person, were put into those circumstances, they would react similarly.
All in all, this is a story that I’ll probably be recommending to people once it gets longer. Maybe in another 20 chapters or so? I would rate this as a #WillKeepReading.