The immortal and the personification of mana
Self-Published
Community Rating
Description
Aurum the once immortal have travel back into the past and is now ready to stir the path this time in a better direction than the previous timeline. Will he be able to guide it back into a happy ending or will it be just the same as the previous one?
This world is set in a medieval-like setting. Technology is advancing but it's still isn't the best thing yet.
Information
- Status
- Hiatus
- Year
- 2019
- Author
- Dnomyargnaw
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.4/ 5.0
- Followers
- 23
- Views
- 6,874
Chapters(8 total)
Reviews
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Community Reviews(1)
- JayQueRoyal Road★★★ 2.5Review as of chapter 5:
Story: MC is an immortal who somehow was able to time travel back to when he was born with memories intact. Uses knowledge of future to learn magic and item crafting (not explained), and regain immortality. Then saved future gf when she is v young, which if continues how I'm reading is going to be a little creepy (pretends to be someone else until old enough then reintroduce? Guardian over her till she is older then get into relationship? Ick)
Pacing is very fast, skips over a lot of time and content with no real explanation, no world building outside of combat.
Saying that, for someone that seems to be a new author, there is relatively few spelling/grammatical errors, compared to other new stories so it has potential to be a fully fleshed out and readable story in the future. There is a couple errors, but nothing that breaks the story to a large degree.
Recommendations: Try slow the pacing a little now you have introduced the main character and general plot concept, introduce some more world building about things not directly related to the pro/antagonists. Work on your conversations, as they currently read like a martial arts film, where it's only there because you need to find a reason for the MC to fight someone else.
Try avoid becoming yet another trope filled power trip, but if you want to do that best of luck!
I'll try update this when more content is released, at maybe 25/30 chapters?