The Hidden Seed (in Hiatus for a Rewrite)

Self-Published

Community Rating

Description

In a faraway corner of Tellor, Susan was running from Forest's Edge, the village she spent her whole life in.

Entering the place she feared the most, the aptly named Beasts' Forest, one of the most dangerous areas in the world, something she never thought she would ever do.

She was running from the guards who suddenly started attacking everyone she knew indiscriminately for no obvious reason at all

...

Inside the forest, Adam, a travelling adventurer as he calls himself, was heading towards Forest's Edge for some much-needed respite after months of travelling.

Suddenly, he heard an unusual sound coming from afar. Curious by nature and wondering what it could have been, he headed excitedly, but silently, towards the sound.

...

Thousands of kilometres away, in the Capital of Capitals, the world's strongest pillar fell, The Usurpation happened, sending waves of unrest all over the world...

[Completed the Royal Road Writathon challenge November 2021]

Information

Status: Hiatus
Year: 2021
Author: reverof

Royal Road Stats

Rating: 4.5/ 5.0
Followers: 18
Views: 12,279

Reviews

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Community Reviews(4)

D.M. Rhodes (Razzmatazz)Royal Road
★★★★★ 5.0
The Hidden Seed is a fantasy action/intrigue story about a girl, Susan and the man she encounters during her escape from the destruction of her village, Adam, a wayward ‘adventurer’ who has more to him that meets the eye.
The general premise of this story is interesting in that the meat of the story is basically us following Susan and Adam along on their adventure, so we get to watch them develop together which is handled enjoyably. I like the two of them as characters and how they develop as a team. Meanwhile, the camera will sometimes shift to a different perspective and allow us to peek behind the curtain, seeing the political games being played in higher positions of power that the two of them have found themselves in the midst of.
One of the features of this story is that there are a ton of different races, so if you like that in your fantasy, you’ll enjoy it here. I would like a glossary though, because like I said, there are a ton of races, places and past events/places that are referenced to. I did lose track, honestly. But I have the memory of a concussed goldfish.
The writing is enjoyable and I found nothing really noteworthy. I think there was a their/there mix-up once, but I forgot where honestly. I don't really care about that, but you might. Apart from that, I found no major spelling or grammar mistakes.
If you’re interested in watching two people go on an adventure while the world burns around them, (It’s more fun than you’d think, haha!) then please give this one a fair shot! =)
BullerRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Not the most important detail but whatever. As something I got mildly annoyed through when reading this was the more-than-mild overuse of ... . Like, there is only so much you can use before the reader starts to either get annoyed or loses the impact normally gained from its use. Don't believe me? Here is an example:
"I'm sorry Susan... I know words mean nothing, but they are all we can give... We couldn't do anything... We had no choice..."
Try and count how many that were in that one. It's about three too many. Having a lot in one chapter is fine as long as it's properly distanced from each other. Otherwise, the grammar is fine enough to read though overall sentence-structure felt stuntented at times. 4.5/5 from me.
Golenishchev AndreyRoyal Road
★★★★★ 4.5
Opening: The beginning of the story tells about a girl whose village was on fire. She wanted to survive and went to the forest. To the place where dangerous and predatory monsters live. At least that's what she was told about it as a child and such an image took root in her head. In the forest, she meets Adam - a representative of the strongest race livitus. They talk, and then - the cliffhanger - that hooked me.
Story: The narration is on behalf of several characters. They represent different sides of interest. And since all of them are on different sides of the barricades, this adds volume to the story. It's interesting to follow it. In addition, there are several interesting riddles in the story. And here I am keeping turning the pages.
Style: The narrative style is a bit strange for me. The author prefers dry descriptions, instead of showing the world through the eyes of heroes. It's a little stressful because it doesn't let the story reveal its cool potential.
Characters: The characters are interesting, you watch them with pleasure. In the first chapters, we are presented with heroes of different races, but all too strong. It's a little annoying, for me personally. But I don't want my subjectivity to affect the assessment.
Grammar: since English is my second language, it is difficult for me to assess sensibly on this point. I had no problems anywhere.
Conclusion: In conclusion, I want to say that the story hooked me. I will continue to follow it and read. But I would like the author to think a little about how to make the narrative more interesting and juicier. In some places, you want to see more emotions, actions or small details.
lemniscateRoyal Road
★★★★ 4.0
The summary gives the impression that this world is on the precipice of some major action, and the first few chapters continue building on this idea.
Style
I found the style here average. The writing clips along easily. A bit of voice to keep things interesting. I would've liked a bit more detail, like the beginning of chapter two and three, throughout to really immerse the reader in the story.
Grammar
There's nothing here that gets in the way of understanding the story, but there are regular grammar mistakes. Nothing egregious though.
Story
The first chapters do a decent job setting up the story. There's definitely a fine line being walked between fleshing out the world and getting to the action, though I think it's straying a little on the side of sparce worldbuilding. There are a lot of "races" introduced with information that actually doesn't help readers differentiate between them or see the importance of their race to begin with.
Character
Susan and Adam have the most screen time so far, and their personalities seem opposite but complementary so that what you learn about one almost also reveals something about the other. However, I don't feel like the POV is deep enough to truly consider inside their head, and the narrative does jump around to many different characters, so as a reader, I feel pretty distant from them all. Interesting cast so far, though, and I'm sure time will flesh them out more.
Overall, a strong start to a promising world at the break with likable characters. I just wish maybe that there was the unique qualities that set this apart from other works could be fleshed out more.