The Forfeit Thief
Self-Published
Community Rating
Description
A mysterious thief is terrorising the city, stealing valuables and demanding strange and humiliating prices for their return. The prince has been sent to "reassure the nobles", as though his presence is some kind of protection. The whole thing seems pointless, unless he can actually identify the thief himself. He didn't come to play detective... did he?
Information
- Status
- Completed
- Year
- 2019
- Author
- Sun Kitten
Royal Road Stats
- Rating
- 4.0/ 5.0
- Followers
- 3
- Views
- 419
Chapters(1 total)
Reviews
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Community Reviews(1)
- RznRoyal Road★★★★ 4.0A significant part of the story was frittered away on scenes and details unrelated to the plot, which is something that doesn't work well with short stories. Gavaith is shown to be a liability and yet he is trusted by the prince anyways, if your trusted staff hides information and manipulates something as simple as your schedule with a trivial reason it comes off poorly. The events spent a lot of time dealing with extraneous detail unrelated to the plot too. The last third of the story pulls it together, though the basic issues of resolving the situation was hampered by what seems to be a deus ex machina of sorts.
The prose has a few errors, nothing too significant, but some copyediting for polish would be good. I would strongly consider word choice given the POV and the nature of the piece. It was not fun to read a sentence that began with "There was a reception, with drinks and nibbles..." Nibbles? Nibbles? Another was about how he "brooded in the flitter". It was still a good story overall, worth the read.